Shaking a womans hand; how to do it?

[Vice]

It's a sill question, but one that's been bothering me for a bit.

What is the best way to shake a womans hand when you are introducing yourself?

I know with men that I need a firm shake, but with women, I've noticed that they tend to give weaker, more 'flowy' handshakes.

 

[Five To One]

Instead of having your hand straigh up and down, have it more flat with your palm facing up. Its not so much a handshake as it is a breif holding of hands. Just make sure you make strong eye contact and a good smile with it and it will look so smooth.

You have the opinion of kissing her hand from that position too, if your feeling bold.

 

[Fontaine]

I agree with Five to One. A casual shake should be that way. Not sure I would kiss her hand though.

In a business environment, go with the standard shake. She wants to know you respect her (even if you don't) as a professional.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

From what i've done...i'd sandwich her hand with urs. u shake her hand from underneath with ur first hand but then take ur other hand above hers and then put them together. As fontaine said in business environment, yea...firm handshake.

 

[jacob]

you can do it like five to one said but hold the eye contact and with your middle finger scratch the middle of her palm. She'll know exactly what you mean.

 

[Duffdog]

I always hold my hand out with the palm up at a slight angle. I do this because I would frequently get complaints like "Thats a firm grip you have there!" And I wouldn't realize I was crushing her hand. This way, all you do is hold her hand for a few seconds and maintain eye contact.

 

[suavesuave]

I think to arouse her effectively the trick is to shake her hand with 4 fingers wrapping her palm and use the middle finger to slightly touch her palm while shaking.....




****!@ why do you care how you shake her hand!

 

[Lord Shinra]

Instead of having your hand straigh up and down, have it more flat with your palm facing up. Its not so much a handshake as it is a breif holding of hands. Just make sure you make strong eye contact and a good smile with it and it will look so smooth.

You have the opinion of kissing her hand from that position too, if your feeling bold.

Surprisingly that works if executed properly. But make sure you bring her hand up to your lips.

 

[Dannyrt34]

Palm upwards at a slight angle, be gentle. Then while shaking hands, hold her hand for a bit longer than usual, for at least 5 seconds. It's better kino, just stay holding hands while ur saying something.

I learned this recently since I started going to bars more often, all the girls I meet, I used to do a normal handshake. But I recently realized that they always seem to try to hold my hand for a bit longer, now I always do it.

 

[fuse]

Instead of having your hand straigh up and down, have it more flat with your palm facing up. Its not so much a handshake as it is a breif holding of hands. Just make sure you make strong eye contact and a good smile with it and it will look so smooth.

You have the opinion of kissing her hand from that position too, if your feeling bold.

I disagree with this post. Never turn your palm facing up when shaking anyone's hand. It is submissive body language and shows lack of assertiveness. If you are going to shake a woman's hand just do it normally with your palm perpendicular to ground or you can turn your palm slightly facing down which puts your hand in a dominant position while placing hers in a submissive position. Give a firm squeeze, but lighter than a man so you do not hurt her and make a bad first impression. Please do not kiss her hand. This is a throwback to a bygone age. It is totally sentimental and most girls would probably think you are trying way too hard.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Just shake her hand like you would with anyone else!! Anything else is just a$$ kissing. Like, people who like to kiss a girls hand with they first meet. How you shake a girls hands has no effect of her opinion on you...

 

[magickarl]

Shake her hand firmly, but don't try to break her hand. It really is that easy. Instead of just pumping the hand up and down, approach from underneath, and move the hand up and down more with your wrist than your elbow.

Kissing her hand is iffy, in a formal setting or if the girl is being introduced to you by a close friend then I would say it is appropriate. But just casually meeting a woman in the streets, you may come across as over the top.

Hold eye contact until she breaks it, but don't give her a stare down. Give a polite smile, and give her a personal salutation (use her name; It's good to meet you Jessica, ect.)

 

[Biggie]

In the Definitive Book of Body Language shaking with even a slight underhand shows you're less of a threat and shows you're passive. Try to keep both your hand and her hand vertical. Now in my experience i've seen a lot of girls shake the hands of guys and after say something like "why does every guy shake my hand like a girl? you're a man, so shake hands like a man." And no they haven't said this about me (much) lol but since reading the aforementioned book i've been doing it right.

 

[DJVladdy]

I disagree with this post. Never turn your palm facing up when shaking anyone's hand. It is submissive body language and shows lack of assertiveness. If you are going to shake a woman's hand just do it normally with your palm perpendicular to ground or you can turn your palm slightly facing down which puts your hand in a dominant position while placing hers in a submissive position. Give a firm squeeze, but lighter than a man so you do not hurt her and make a bad first impression. Please do not kiss her hand. This is a throwback to a bygone age. It is totally sentimental and most girls would probably think you are trying way too hard.

I don't know if any of you guys noticed something interesting about the nature of this gentleman's post:

Recently oakraiderz2 game me props for writing a funny line advice "for nerds by nerds" (maybe i should make a brand name? hmmm kinda like FUBU). This is ANOTHER perfect example of that. It is not only an example of a bad advice, your whole LOGIC is inside out!

 

[fuse]

I don't know if any of you guys noticed something interesting about the nature of this gentleman's post:

Recently oakraiderz2 game me props for writing a funny line advice "for nerds by nerds" (maybe i should make a brand name? hmmm kinda like FUBU). This is ANOTHER perfect example of that. It is not only an example of a bad advice, your whole LOGIC is inside out!

No, this is based off scientific research. It is funny someone mentioned the Definitive Book of Body Language. Look at page 42.

Let's assume that you have just met someone for the first
time and you greet each other with a handshake. One of three
basic attitudes is subconsciously transmitted:
1. Dominance: 'He is trying to dominate me. I'd better be
cautious.'
2. Submission: 'I can dominate this person. He'll do what I
want.'
3. Equality: 'I feel comfortable with this person.'
These attitudes are sent and received without our being aware
of them, but they can have an immediate impact on the
outcome of any meeting. In the 1970s we documented the
effect of these handshake techniques in our business skills
classes and taught them as business strategies, which, with a
little practice and application, can dramatically influence any
face-to-face meeting, as you will see.
Dominance is transmitted by turning your hand (striped
sleeve) so that your palm faces down in the handshake (see
below). Your palm doesn't have to face directly down, but is
the upper hand and communicates that you want to take
control of the encounter.
Our study of 350 successful senior management executives
(89% of whom were men) revealed that not only did almost all
of the managers initiate the handshake, 88% of males and
31% of females also used the dominant handshake position.
Power and control issues are generally less important to
women, which probably accounts for why only one in three
women attempted the Upper Hand ritual. We also found that
some women will give men a soft handshake in some social
contexts to imply submissiveness. This is a way of highlighting
their femininity or implying that domination of her may be
possible.

I think it is best to keep your palms perpendicular to the ground and I was not advocating doing it palms down. I am only saying it makes a bad first impression to shake hands with your palms up. Dogs show their throats/undersides when they submit, people show their palms. By the way, don't talk to me like you know anything about me. You are entitled to your own opinion (though it's wrong), there is no need for petty mud-slinging.

 

[DJVladdy]

This is an internet forum - people talk trash. Don'tneed to always be PC and eloquent.

 

[DJVladdy]

And by the way ur right i dont know u and i dont wanna know you.

 

[horaholic]

Wouldnt the "hand sandwich" show dominance also? One of your palms would be facing the ground, and you have her hand trapped (or protected maybe), so to speak. At the same time, there is minor kino. I think thats the way to go, just put your dominant hand on the top, so her palm is facing upwards.

 

[DXX]

Keep your hand perpendicular to the ground and say "you shake hands like a girl". Might sound corny on paper but always gets a good reaction and now she's relaxed and will respond much better to your advances.

 

[Five To One]

I disagree with this post. Never turn your palm facing up when shaking anyone's hand. It is submissive body language and shows lack of assertiveness. If you are going to shake a woman's hand just do it normally with your palm perpendicular to ground or you can turn your palm slightly facing down which puts your hand in a dominant position while placing hers in a submissive position. Give a firm squeeze, but lighter than a man so you do not hurt her and make a bad first impression. Please do not kiss her hand. This is a throwback to a bygone age. It is totally sentimental and most girls would probably think you are trying way too hard.

Well im glad you know what to do from reading a book...
my advice came from my experience.

So your saying the upward palm will subconciously display submissive body language. Maybe thats so but I dont care and I dont think you should either, you dont need to show dominant body language 100 percent of the time to be a winner.

Shaking a woman's hand that I am actively persuing as I would a friend's hand seems very off.

Kissing the hand is on a rare occation, maybe even a little iffy but please dont grab a womans hand and dominate her with a firm handshake like shes an old friend of yours.



Its people like you that try to make everything down to a science; it cant and will never be done . Ill take my personal experiences over what a book says should be right any day.