"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Sex with Ex-GF?

WORKEROUTER

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Okay, so I broke up with my gf last Friday because I noticed that her IL was falling and found out it was because she wanted to gain more experience in the dating world.

Anyway, we ended up going out together that night and Saturday night. Then we ended up having sex a few times. She claims that she is just too attached to me to see me leave. `

But this is confusing. Normally, an ex is an ex. It's over. Now, however, it's like we are almost "dating," yet not going out. I mean, we still went out, had sex, slept together and all, despite having been broken up. Could it be that since I was her first actual sexual partner (she was a virgin), and in fact, her actual REAL bf, she doesn't want to part with me?

So my question is how the hell do I deal with this? Should I just totally BREAK IT OFF...meaning don't call her, don't have sex with her, etc.?

I know she is still real attached to me NOW, but after that semi-infatuation stage dies off, is she just going to start ignoring me and look for other guys (after all, she wanted to meet other people)?

OR, should I treat her as if we really are just "dating," and apply my DJ skills to her, just as I would any other girl, but also pursue other women (after all, we aren't going out, right?)? The problem is that I don't feel like I am dating her because, let's face it, we were going out exclusively for a few months.

Anyway, I feel like I am caught in an awkward situation and am not sure the best way to handle it.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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NewMan

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Only you can supply the answer.

It would boil down to the following for me.

1) could I continue to see her and just fvck her and have emotional DEtachment.



If the answer to that is yes, then you can go ahead and be friends with benefits.

If you are not able to handle this - cut it off.

The bottom line here is whether or not you want a relationship (traditional BF/GF) with her.

I sense that you do. So in this case you should cut her off and walk away. You should tell her when she is finished figuring her "Stuff" out, to call you. If you are still single maybe there's a chance. But until then - your moving on.

Don't hang out with her as friends - this is self defeating.

Don't fvck her.
 

WORKEROUTER

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Right now, there still is emotional detachment, but do you think that is possible to eradicate?

I think you are right in saying that I should break it off, though. We treat each other as if we are still going out, yet we aren't. Playing this game is AFC in my mind...she needs to get her "stuff" figured out before she's worthy to be in a relationship with me because I am not going to play the chump who's caught in between and used at the discretion of her ephemeral emotions.
 
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