I am having this problem and I have no idea why. I was a virgin until I met my current girlfriend. She is my first partner and we have had actual sex 4 times w/ my getting off. But for some reason I am like having erectile dysfunction. Say we'll be making out and getting naked and I'll be hard. But when we get around to putting the condom on and then when I go to stick it in her I'm soft by that time and sometimes i can't get real hard again. Attraction is not the problem. She is very attractive to me. But of course she thinks she is the problem and gets afraid I'm losing interest in her. I honestly have no idea why all of a sudden go soft. Being nervous is probably my best guess. I used to be nervous about how I would perform and now I get nervous about going soft. A) Why am I going soft and B) What can I tell her to keep her from getting mad at me and to assure her I still love her and she does it for me?
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Sex problem
- Thread starter bud_2005
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Kevin Cass
Don Juan
tell her that the problem isnt her that its you, and that you really love her, and get her off other ways, oral sex, using ur fingers, that would probably get u hard again. if it doesnt then u can
also go to the doctor he might give you something to treat ur nerves. dont worry lots of people have this problem!
also go to the doctor he might give you something to treat ur nerves. dont worry lots of people have this problem!
CactusMcDougal
Don Juan
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Like my therapist says: "All your problems are inside that thick skull of yours!"
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
How is smoking weed gonna make someone have more erections? It seems to me that would make someone have a harder time getting hard than it would help. Anyway, I have had this problem too, and it's from being fairly new to sex, and being nervous about your performance I would think. That's what happens to me sometimes. The exact same thing, I am rock hard when we kiss and touch, but when I go to put on the condom, I kinda get soft.
CactusMcDougal
Don Juan
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Substance use only facilitates an altered sense of perception. That would not be a very feasible solution to the problem at hand.
So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
Don't stop the foreplay while she's putting the condom on... if you stop, grab the jimmy, put it on and then keep going might be long enough of a pause to make you start losing the erection.
PuroDeAgave
Don Juan
i read that weed can increase sex drive or reduce it. i tend to last longer when im high on weed but it also takes me longer to get an erection even though it feels 10 times better.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
Stop jacking it.
Last Man Standing
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If you think you have problems with a limp penis now - just wait and see what happens when you are 40 y/o and your arteries are clogged and thus the blood flow is restricted due to not exercising and eating junk food as your main diet, and consistently smoking and drinking on a daily basis, being sedentary on a computer all day, repeatedly getting kicked in the balls for unwanted sexual advances, and eating a few hundred pounds of meat over a lifetime? Not that I'm speaking
from experience
Seriously, you just need to become comfortable with a girl - which takes time.
from experience
Seriously, you just need to become comfortable with a girl - which takes time.
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"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
dap
Senior Don Juan
"How is smoking weed gonna make someone have more erections?"
It increases your libido. Don't smoke too much of course, or else you will fall asleep. I would recommend drinking some red bull too. Also, perhaps you are not comfortable around her? Just a thought.
It increases your libido. Don't smoke too much of course, or else you will fall asleep. I would recommend drinking some red bull too. Also, perhaps you are not comfortable around her? Just a thought.
OK, a real answer.
If you're still getting hard, you don't have erectile dysfunction. You have performance anxiety. Erectile Dysfunction is a physical problem, anxiety is an emotional one that manifests itself physically (in a very unfortunate way).
More or less the same thing happened to me not long ago. The #1 tip is t relax and not worry about it. Sound impossible? Just work on being comfortable with her. Spend some time naked in bed without expectation of sex, then go at it when you're ready. Have her make you hard, then let it go, then have her do it again so you'll know your erections will come back.
The next time you have sex, let her be on top.
She could also go on the pill so you don't need condoms at all (assuming you're both clean).
If you're still getting hard, you don't have erectile dysfunction. You have performance anxiety. Erectile Dysfunction is a physical problem, anxiety is an emotional one that manifests itself physically (in a very unfortunate way).
More or less the same thing happened to me not long ago. The #1 tip is t relax and not worry about it. Sound impossible? Just work on being comfortable with her. Spend some time naked in bed without expectation of sex, then go at it when you're ready. Have her make you hard, then let it go, then have her do it again so you'll know your erections will come back.
The next time you have sex, let her be on top.
She could also go on the pill so you don't need condoms at all (assuming you're both clean).