I am having this problem and I have no idea why. I was a virgin until I met my current girlfriend. She is my first partner and we have had actual sex 4 times w/ my getting off. But for some reason I am like having erectile dysfunction. Say we'll be making out and getting naked and I'll be hard. But when we get around to putting the condom on and then when I go to stick it in her I'm soft by that time and sometimes i can't get real hard again. Attraction is not the problem. She is very attractive to me. But of course she thinks she is the problem and gets afraid I'm losing interest in her. I honestly have no idea why all of a sudden go soft. Being nervous is probably my best guess. I used to be nervous about how I would perform and now I get nervous about going soft. A) Why am I going soft and B) What can I tell her to keep her from getting mad at me and to assure her I still love her and she does it for me?
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Sex problem
- Thread starter bud_2005
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“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Kevin Cass
Don Juan
tell her that the problem isnt her that its you, and that you really love her, and get her off other ways, oral sex, using ur fingers, that would probably get u hard again. if it doesnt then u can
also go to the doctor he might give you something to treat ur nerves. dont worry lots of people have this problem!
also go to the doctor he might give you something to treat ur nerves. dont worry lots of people have this problem!
CactusMcDougal
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Like my therapist says: "All your problems are inside that thick skull of yours!"
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
How is smoking weed gonna make someone have more erections? It seems to me that would make someone have a harder time getting hard than it would help. Anyway, I have had this problem too, and it's from being fairly new to sex, and being nervous about your performance I would think. That's what happens to me sometimes. The exact same thing, I am rock hard when we kiss and touch, but when I go to put on the condom, I kinda get soft.
CactusMcDougal
Don Juan
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Substance use only facilitates an altered sense of perception. That would not be a very feasible solution to the problem at hand.
So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
Don't stop the foreplay while she's putting the condom on... if you stop, grab the jimmy, put it on and then keep going might be long enough of a pause to make you start losing the erection.
PuroDeAgave
Don Juan
i read that weed can increase sex drive or reduce it. i tend to last longer when im high on weed but it also takes me longer to get an erection even though it feels 10 times better.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
Stop jacking it.
Last Man Standing
Banned
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If you think you have problems with a limp penis now - just wait and see what happens when you are 40 y/o and your arteries are clogged and thus the blood flow is restricted due to not exercising and eating junk food as your main diet, and consistently smoking and drinking on a daily basis, being sedentary on a computer all day, repeatedly getting kicked in the balls for unwanted sexual advances, and eating a few hundred pounds of meat over a lifetime? Not that I'm speaking
from experience
Seriously, you just need to become comfortable with a girl - which takes time.
from experience
Seriously, you just need to become comfortable with a girl - which takes time.
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"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
dap
Senior Don Juan
"How is smoking weed gonna make someone have more erections?"
It increases your libido. Don't smoke too much of course, or else you will fall asleep. I would recommend drinking some red bull too. Also, perhaps you are not comfortable around her? Just a thought.
It increases your libido. Don't smoke too much of course, or else you will fall asleep. I would recommend drinking some red bull too. Also, perhaps you are not comfortable around her? Just a thought.
OK, a real answer.
If you're still getting hard, you don't have erectile dysfunction. You have performance anxiety. Erectile Dysfunction is a physical problem, anxiety is an emotional one that manifests itself physically (in a very unfortunate way).
More or less the same thing happened to me not long ago. The #1 tip is t relax and not worry about it. Sound impossible? Just work on being comfortable with her. Spend some time naked in bed without expectation of sex, then go at it when you're ready. Have her make you hard, then let it go, then have her do it again so you'll know your erections will come back.
The next time you have sex, let her be on top.
She could also go on the pill so you don't need condoms at all (assuming you're both clean).
If you're still getting hard, you don't have erectile dysfunction. You have performance anxiety. Erectile Dysfunction is a physical problem, anxiety is an emotional one that manifests itself physically (in a very unfortunate way).
More or less the same thing happened to me not long ago. The #1 tip is t relax and not worry about it. Sound impossible? Just work on being comfortable with her. Spend some time naked in bed without expectation of sex, then go at it when you're ready. Have her make you hard, then let it go, then have her do it again so you'll know your erections will come back.
The next time you have sex, let her be on top.
She could also go on the pill so you don't need condoms at all (assuming you're both clean).