Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Sex is being used against you

kavi

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I think that men really need to stop trying to get laid. I see this as the biggest problem in dating and relationships. It is just skewing everything in favour of women and boosting their egos and giving them too much power.

This is kinda simple to see that looking at guys who have been good at getting laid alot, they dont seem to do particularly well in LTRs nor are any men out there really dominating women.

I see that many men out there are boosting womens egos too much by wanting it or acting like it is important.

But sex is so cheap and low-value these days that men should really be able to express to women that they have standards, are happy to wait, get to know someone, and willing to turn down opportunities.

There are certainly men out there in this forum and other places who dont value low-quality sex, hookups, ONS, and prefer LTRs or higher quality relationships, but there is still this belief and idea in our society that men should always want to get laid and if you dont do it quickly the girl wont like you or think your beta.

In Nature a male will always compete and fight for it, cos it is real and leads to pregnancy and sex is rare and meaningful. In our society women are being very manipulative, they dont really care about being with the best guy, it is all about their ego, like they do stuff based on situations, on what they can get, on whether someone will find out or not.

Im saying women are not respecting sex because men are not respecting themselves and I know to be good with women and to be alpha that has to be independant of getting laid cos those paths go in different directions.

The litmust test for a man I think to be good with women is can you turn down opportunities, can you say no, can you have her at your place and not do it and she still comes back and wants you. But too many guys are afraid that if they dont get it quick or do it they will lose the woman but I know this is a losing mentality.

All of this simping from men is causing the dating market to get skewed so bad it is causing major issues just the fact that women know men are so weak and pathetic that they want it so much.

Sex is about love, ego, validation. If a guys sense of self-esteem is strong enoughm has positivity and love, has a stress-free relaxed life he doesnt need that thing as much. But cos we live in such a negative world of stress, competitiveness, lack of self-esteem, positivity, love, morality etc we are all trying to gain validation through women and through sex (love).

But know that women are using this against men to their own infantile, manipulative, ego-based world-view so simply men wanting to get laid is just putting the man beneath the woman so high quality men really need to learn the ability to say to themselves, to women and others that they have standards just like women are saying they have standards and wouldnt just do it with anyone.

Women are really lowering their standards with the level of casual sex and NSA type of stuff they are doing and they are doing alot of this with low-quality guys, they often dont care about the guy, it is very situational for them, so men should understand that it can never be about getting laid but about quality, power, self-esteem etc.
 

Modern Man Advice

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I think that men really need to stop trying to get laid. I see this as the biggest problem in dating and relationships. It is just skewing everything in favour of women and boosting their egos and giving them too much power.

This is kinda simple to see that looking at guys who have been good at getting laid alot, they dont seem to do particularly well in LTRs nor are any men out there really dominating women.

I see that many men out there are boosting womens egos too much by wanting it or acting like it is important.

But sex is so cheap and low-value these days that men should really be able to express to women that they have standards, are happy to wait, get to know someone, and willing to turn down opportunities.

There are certainly men out there in this forum and other places who dont value low-quality sex, hookups, ONS, and prefer LTRs or higher quality relationships, but there is still this belief and idea in our society that men should always want to get laid and if you dont do it quickly the girl wont like you or think your beta.

In Nature a male will always compete and fight for it, cos it is real and leads to pregnancy and sex is rare and meaningful. In our society women are being very manipulative, they dont really care about being with the best guy, it is all about their ego, like they do stuff based on situations, on what they can get, on whether someone will find out or not.

Im saying women are not respecting sex because men are not respecting themselves and I know to be good with women and to be alpha that has to be independant of getting laid cos those paths go in different directions.

The litmust test for a man I think to be good with women is can you turn down opportunities, can you say no, can you have her at your place and not do it and she still comes back and wants you. But too many guys are afraid that if they dont get it quick or do it they will lose the woman but I know this is a losing mentality.

All of this simping from men is causing the dating market to get skewed so bad it is causing major issues just the fact that women know men are so weak and pathetic that they want it so much.

Sex is about love, ego, validation. If a guys sense of self-esteem is strong enoughm has positivity and love, has a stress-free relaxed life he doesnt need that thing as much. But cos we live in such a negative world of stress, competitiveness, lack of self-esteem, positivity, love, morality etc we are all trying to gain validation through women and through sex (love).

But know that women are using this against men to their own infantile, manipulative, ego-based world-view so simply men wanting to get laid is just putting the man beneath the woman so high quality men really need to learn the ability to say to themselves, to women and others that they have standards just like women are saying they have standards and wouldnt just do it with anyone.

Women are really lowering their standards with the level of casual sex and NSA type of stuff they are doing and they are doing alot of this with low-quality guys, they often dont care about the guy, it is very situational for them, so men should understand that it can never be about getting laid but about quality, power, self-esteem etc.
Yep, it is called being p***y whipped which in turn makes men weak and lowers their worth and self-respect.

Good stuff.


Modern Man Advice
 

sangheilios

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You know it's bad when very overweight/obese women have relatively high standards and are picky with the men that they have sex with. There was a very overweight woman I knew about 2 years ago that had very specific standards like the man needing to be 6'+ and being ripped.....think about that for a minute. However, she also had literally DOZENS of men hitting her up on tinder, social media, etc. looking to met up......again, think about that for a minute. The dating market right now is in some unique set of circumstances where it's in an endless cycle of increasingly thirstier men due to increasingly pickier and pickier women. I'm 6'4" and around 240lbs. with 17.5" arms and a 47"chest right now and I've had women tell me I'm "fat" or have a "dad bod"......let that sink in for a minute. I'm one of the strongest/fittest guys in the gym and having women criticize me. However, this is not unique to just me where they are selecting me out but instead this is something that they do to all men. If I go through stuff like this I can't even imagine what it's like for men that are below average (short, overweight, etc.).
 

Smok1nAce

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agree

I changed my tune and am a much happier person for it.

It seems for the last decade men have become very sex crazed.
 

Kotaix

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I have always tried to live by this. I would rather jerk off than pay for sex or have meaningless sex with some dumb skank.

Men need to stop giving attention and sex to worthless wh0res. And this is already happening. Young men are less interested in sex now that they have been in a long time

The problem is when men get a girl stuck in their heads (who isn't attracted to them) and start bending over backwards for her. This is what breeds the entitlement. And it's not like I'm innocent of doing this in the past.

Solution? only go after high interest women.

The price of poon is what the market is willing to pay. Unfortunately, simps have been shown to pay outrageous amounts for poon. That skews things for the rest of us.
I'd argue that simps don't even pay for poon. They pay for cheap, meaningless, sexless attention from hot women that don't actually give a fvck about them.
 

Stuffnu

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Woman have been weaponizing there ”poontang” for the last several years as men allow themselves to be beaten into submission.
Back in the day, men focused on there own missions in life and women were just complimentary.
Today the script has been flipped….
 

Hamurabimbi

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The year I was recently single, I was like a mad dog in heat. Banged everything. But it’s not (at least for me) sustainable. Now I make the effort to defuse the situation before it becomes dangerous. As an ex- told me recently; ‘I know you could cheat. But you wont’. I do feel a bit guilty for refusing. As rejection must be as soul crushing to a woman as it is to a man.
 

Atom Smasher

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Great post, @kavi
I’ve been saying here for years that going out and getting laid by whom ever on the regular is a massive exercise in dissipation.
To most men, sex is power. Conquest. It has nothing to do with bonding with a woman. But because during sex there is a physical, emotional and spiritual exchange, bad things happen when it’s meaningless. These bad things aren’t obvious and in fact are rarely even noticed. But they accumulate. It’s like high blood pressure. You don’t feel it, but it can kill you eventually. It’s bad for men but it’s exponentially bad for women. Women are the receivers, men the givers. She carries with her for life every man she has ever slept with.

By and large, meaningless sex is an addiction to a brief feeling of power and control. Of course we are hormonally driven, but like any appetite that controls us, we reap negative consequences by indulging.

I don’t have the solution to this except to say that we must raise our self-awareness and ask ourselves why we’re doing it and what are the possible consequences?
 

AureliusMaximus

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I think that men really need to stop trying to get laid. I see this as the biggest problem in dating and relationships. It is just skewing everything in favour of women and boosting their egos and giving them too much power.

This is kinda simple to see that looking at guys who have been good at getting laid alot, they dont seem to do particularly well in LTRs nor are any men out there really dominating women.

I see that many men out there are boosting womens egos too much by wanting it or acting like it is important.

But sex is so cheap and low-value these days that men should really be able to express to women that they have standards, are happy to wait, get to know someone, and willing to turn down opportunities.

There are certainly men out there in this forum and other places who dont value low-quality sex, hookups, ONS, and prefer LTRs or higher quality relationships, but there is still this belief and idea in our society that men should always want to get laid and if you dont do it quickly the girl wont like you or think your beta.

In Nature a male will always compete and fight for it, cos it is real and leads to pregnancy and sex is rare and meaningful. In our society women are being very manipulative, they dont really care about being with the best guy, it is all about their ego, like they do stuff based on situations, on what they can get, on whether someone will find out or not.

Im saying women are not respecting sex because men are not respecting themselves and I know to be good with women and to be alpha that has to be independant of getting laid cos those paths go in different directions.

The litmust test for a man I think to be good with women is can you turn down opportunities, can you say no, can you have her at your place and not do it and she still comes back and wants you. But too many guys are afraid that if they dont get it quick or do it they will lose the woman but I know this is a losing mentality.

All of this simping from men is causing the dating market to get skewed so bad it is causing major issues just the fact that women know men are so weak and pathetic that they want it so much.

Sex is about love, ego, validation. If a guys sense of self-esteem is strong enoughm has positivity and love, has a stress-free relaxed life he doesnt need that thing as much. But cos we live in such a negative world of stress, competitiveness, lack of self-esteem, positivity, love, morality etc we are all trying to gain validation through women and through sex (love).

But know that women are using this against men to their own infantile, manipulative, ego-based world-view so simply men wanting to get laid is just putting the man beneath the woman so high quality men really need to learn the ability to say to themselves, to women and others that they have standards just like women are saying they have standards and wouldnt just do it with anyone.

Women are really lowering their standards with the level of casual sex and NSA type of stuff they are doing and they are doing alot of this with low-quality guys, they often dont care about the guy, it is very situational for them, so men should understand that it can never be about getting laid but about quality, power, self-esteem etc.
Women only wields sexual power over you if you give a fvck.
 

AureliusMaximus

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The price of poon is what the market is willing to pay.
Too many AFC and introverts that is willing to sell their soul over getting their stick vet out there. Even here on SoSuave some guys are so desperate and if they do not get that sweet poon they think their masculinity is at stake. I see it reverse. Its way more masculine to hold your frame and keep yourself respect than to accept anyone and/or anything.
A real man knows his value.
 

BadBoy89

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The litmust test for a man I think to be good with women is can you turn down opportunities, can you say no, can you have her at your place and not do it and she still comes back and wants you. But too many guys are afraid that if they dont get it quick or do it they will lose the woman but I know this is a losing mentality.
Don't agree with that.

A man has the hottest 27-year-old girl in his place who wants to have sex, and to be a man he tells no so she comes back next time and wants it more? That makes no sense. What does her "wanting it more" have to do with anything? Either she sleeps with the man or she doesn't.

It's not about "doing it quickly", it's about "seizing the opportunity". And if a man doesn't seize the opportunity within 2-3 dates she will leave. She will think the man is gay or an idiot.

All of this simping from men is causing the dating market to get skewed so bad it is causing major issues just the fact that women know men are so weak and pathetic that they want it so much.
I think you are confusing the issues. What does "wanting it so much" have to do with being "weak."? You can want sex with hot girls 24-7, and still be control.

Sex is about love, ego, validation. If a guys sense of self-esteem is strong enoughm has positivity and love, has a stress-free relaxed life he doesnt need that thing as much. But cos we live in such a negative world of stress, competitiveness, lack of self-esteem, positivity, love, morality etc we are all trying to gain validation through women and through sex (love).
Sex is about procreation. "Love and ego and validation" is what the powers that be have brought into the equation to confuse the genetically unblessed and make more money.

But know that women are using this against men to their own infantile, manipulative, ego-based world-view so simply men wanting to get laid is just putting the man beneath the woman so high quality men really need to learn the ability to say to themselves, to women and others that they have standards just like women are saying they have standards and wouldnt just do it with anyone.

Women are really lowering their standards with the level of casual sex and NSA type of stuff they are doing and they are doing alot of this with low-quality guys, they often dont care about the guy, it is very situational for them, so men should understand that it can never be about getting laid but about quality, power, self-esteem etc.
I don't understand this post. So don't get laid with the hot, fertile, young virgin because it may give her power? I don't know
 

DonJuanjr

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"Yeah man, I'd go without sex to keep my self respect. Even though I've never went without sex for any substantial amount of time in my life. Self respect is everything even though I pay taxes that I don't agree with, and have a job where I have unreasonable duties relative to the amount I make."
 

Hamurabimbi

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Great post, @kavi
I’ve been saying here for years that going out and getting laid by whom ever on the regular is a massive exercise in dissipation.
To most men, sex is power. Conquest. It has nothing to do with bonding with a woman. But because during sex there is a physical, emotional and spiritual exchange, bad things happen when it’s meaningless. These bad things aren’t obvious and in fact are rarely even noticed. But they accumulate. It’s like high blood pressure. You don’t feel it, but it can kill you eventually. It’s bad for men but it’s exponentially bad for women. Women are the receivers, men the givers. She carries with her for life every man she has ever slept with.

By and large, meaningless sex is an addiction to a brief feeling of power and control. Of course we are hormonally driven, but like any appetite that controls us, we reap negative consequences by indulging.

I don’t have the solution to this except to say that we must raise our self-awareness and ask ourselves why we’re doing it and what are the possible consequences?
There is an insane dopamine rush one gets when a woman lusts for you. It is addictive. Beyond the actual enjoyment of sex itself. The quest for that high can be all encompassing. .
 

metalwater

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yes and no to this.

If a man wants a quality relationship then yes, but only sort of. don't get me wrong, I love the post and it describes something that I would like to believe.

It doesn't play out. What your describing is how as men we wish things to be. The truth is that women will be attracted to the man that she feels is a winner and passes the visual and SMELL tests for her. As a winner, she EXPECTS you to take her if you can and want her. If she thinks you can take her but you do not or she has placed herself into your care and you friend her, she either thinks you do not want her or that she was wrong and you are not a winner.

The following interactions you have with her will be different and less from her as she is either scorned or no longer see you as a winner.

Notice I don't use the words beta or alpha about this, as that's not the point.
--
Sex drive is a function of physical and mental health and a mix of inner chemicals, not part of honesty or integrity. Those are different categories and of course, should control our actions.
--
I am not telling to have low standards, but if we want a particular woman then step up asap and take it if you can. Any other path changes her perception of you. She might still want you, but for DIFFERENT reasons than being a winner. Are we a man that doesn't take what he wants?
 

kavi

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yes and no to this.

If a man wants a quality relationship then yes, but only sort of. don't get me wrong, I love the post and it describes something that I would like to believe.

It doesn't play out. What your describing is how as men we wish things to be. The truth is that women will be attracted to the man that she feels is a winner and passes the visual and SMELL tests for her. As a winner, she EXPECTS you to take her if you can and want her. If she thinks you can take her but you do not or she has placed herself into your care and you friend her, she either thinks you do not want her or that she was wrong and you are not a winner.

The following interactions you have with her will be different and less from her as she is either scorned or no longer see you as a winner.

Notice I don't use the words beta or alpha about this, as that's not the point.
--
Sex drive is a function of physical and mental health and a mix of inner chemicals, not part of honesty or integrity. Those are different categories and of course, should control our actions.
--
I am not telling to have low standards, but if we want a particular woman then step up asap and take it if you can. Any other path changes her perception of you. She might still want you, but for DIFFERENT reasons than being a winner. Are we a man that doesn't take what he wants?
But I think that there is levels and there are levels above that.

In Nature a Male does not TAKE IT but has to be GIVEN IT. The female has to choose, so it is not about you doing kino, escalating, passing LMR etc it is meant to be Girl : "You are the guy I wanna be with" Guy: "Yeah I wanna be with you". The Woman has to CHOOSE.

Women are not choosing because men are choosing. Power lies with the one who is chosen not the one choosing.

Again, this comes down to how we define men as winners or losers. If you are a winner then you are ALWAYS a winner. To define winning by getting to the pvssy, it is to put the heirarchy and definition of masculinity in the hands of women who do not have it. If women have the power to make you a winner or loser they will use that against you. A Male being a winner is pre-determined before sex, once he is CHOSEN, or wins in some competition against men, at that point once the male is determined to be a winner, then it is simply the women who WINS to sleep with him not the male.

To win with women it has to be GIVEN not TAKEN.

Getting/taking pvssy does not make one a winner. Being a winner makes one a winner. A women wins when she CHOOSES right, so she has to choose, he cannot choose.

To win with women pvssy has to come to you, you cannot go to it or take it. In Nature the female always chooses. In Humans we can chase and pursue and initiatiate, this is to show the woman who we are, but in the end it has to be given and we have to be chosen when it comes to sex.

Any man who desires to TAKE rather than be GIVEN can never win with women long term imo.

Women TRY to maintain their ego by saying the guy is a loser cos he didnt make a move or take me when I offered, this is just hamstering to boost her ego, to think that her pvssy has so much value that for the guy not to jump at the first chance makes him beta. This ego in women needs to be broken. They need to be more humble, we know many have low-standards and are insincere about choosing for the right reasons, so we have to let them know their pvssy is not really that valuable.

You will even find that most of womens sexual desires are socially engineered, they fvck the types of guys they see others fvcking and marry the types of guys they see others marrying. There are so many social, psychological and other factors that determine who a woman chooses to have sex with, that one cannot place so much value on their choices.

The guy who is naturally most attractive, most alpha, and who every women SHOULD want to ****, is simply the guy who most likely to become a leader of a community, social group, a tribe of humans, who is better than most guys at most things, good social skills, morality, physicality etc etc we know that this is the type of guy a woman should find most attractive simply due to looking at different human systems, nature and also how/why this is deviating in the current system. This is probably the guy you most respect and want as a friend.
 

derby1

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let that sink in for a minute. I'm one of the strongest/fittest guys in the gym and having women criticize me. However, this is not unique to just me where they are selecting me out but instead this is something that they do to all men. If I go through stuff like this I can't even imagine what it's like for men that are below average (short, overweight, etc.).
theres been many studies done on this. if you get women to point out average women, they point out 2/10's

where as if you get women to point out average men, they actually point a guy in the top 25%, as if he is average LOL
 
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