"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Setting up a date... spontaneous or in advance?

tsmith2334

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What's the best way to set up a date or to ask a girl to hang out?

Spontaneously (i.e. the day of) or

A day in advance (i.e. "we should see a movie tommorow...")?

I tend to ask the day of. I feel doing that helps you come off as more confident and relaxed. The only problem is that sometimes they've already made plans for the day/ evening.

From you're experience, when is the best time to do it?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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tsmith2334

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Anyone have feedback on this?

I figure it's a pretty general advice that lots of us would like to know.

I see pros and cons to doing it both ways, I just like being spontaneous because I think it shows confidence... am I right?
 

Bigg Boss

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What ever fits you. Wannabe DJs will tell you "Set it up in advance so you can act like you got other things to do prior!"

But really, sometimes it would be a good idea to pull a spontaneous move. You just gotta know how to do it.
 

tsmith2334

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Bigg Boss said:
What ever fits you. Wannabe DJs will tell you "Set it up in advance so you can act like you got other things to do prior!"

But really, sometimes it would be a good idea to pull a spontaneous move. You just gotta know how to do it.
Thanks, I think what you said is true. It can probably go either way.

Any advice on how to "pull off" the spontaneous move? I think I do it decently, but there is always room to improve!
 

Stéphane

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Definately spontaneous! Just ask them what there doing right now, and tell them what your planning on doing, and invite them to come, but don't ask them to come!

Just be like ' Hey, I'm going to the movies, you can tag along if you want' Then if they say no then just call up another girl, and go anyways. You'll notice that they will flake less on you if you make dates on the spot! Like seriously I never make my plans with my friends it's always been spontaneous, why treat a girl differently.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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easylover

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Unless you've been seeing her for a while, most girls won't go for spontaneous... they'll either have something on or they'll make something up. Why? Because girls aren't like dudes. They need more than a couple hours to work out their outfit, do their hair, consult a psychic, bathe in mango juice or whatever the **** they get up to.
 

tsmith2334

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easylover said:
Unless you've been seeing her for a while, most girls won't go for spontaneous... they'll either have something on or they'll make something up. Why? Because girls aren't like dudes. They need more than a couple hours to work out their outfit, do their hair, consult a psychic, bathe in mango juice or whatever the **** they get up to.
Thanks for the reply. To specify, I mean spontaneous as in day of... Maybe calling at 3 if you want to see her at 6:30... would that give them enough time?
 

Gangster Of Love

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easylover said:
Unless you've been seeing her for a while, most girls won't go for spontaneous... they'll either have something on or they'll make something up. Why? Because girls aren't like dudes. They need more than a couple hours to work out their outfit, do their hair, consult a psychic, bathe in mango juice or whatever the **** they get up to.
:up: Yes, what he just said.

Not only that, but they need to ring up their girlfriends and tell them all about it and overanlyze everything, etc.

Best advice, from my experience, if you kinda know the girl or have talked to her, you will know if she's the spontaneous type or if she's the type that needs everything planned and likes to be in controll.
 
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