"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Setting up a date... spontaneous or in advance?

tsmith2334

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What's the best way to set up a date or to ask a girl to hang out?

Spontaneously (i.e. the day of) or

A day in advance (i.e. "we should see a movie tommorow...")?

I tend to ask the day of. I feel doing that helps you come off as more confident and relaxed. The only problem is that sometimes they've already made plans for the day/ evening.

From you're experience, when is the best time to do it?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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tsmith2334

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Anyone have feedback on this?

I figure it's a pretty general advice that lots of us would like to know.

I see pros and cons to doing it both ways, I just like being spontaneous because I think it shows confidence... am I right?
 

Bigg Boss

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What ever fits you. Wannabe DJs will tell you "Set it up in advance so you can act like you got other things to do prior!"

But really, sometimes it would be a good idea to pull a spontaneous move. You just gotta know how to do it.
 

tsmith2334

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Bigg Boss said:
What ever fits you. Wannabe DJs will tell you "Set it up in advance so you can act like you got other things to do prior!"

But really, sometimes it would be a good idea to pull a spontaneous move. You just gotta know how to do it.
Thanks, I think what you said is true. It can probably go either way.

Any advice on how to "pull off" the spontaneous move? I think I do it decently, but there is always room to improve!
 

Stéphane

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Definately spontaneous! Just ask them what there doing right now, and tell them what your planning on doing, and invite them to come, but don't ask them to come!

Just be like ' Hey, I'm going to the movies, you can tag along if you want' Then if they say no then just call up another girl, and go anyways. You'll notice that they will flake less on you if you make dates on the spot! Like seriously I never make my plans with my friends it's always been spontaneous, why treat a girl differently.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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easylover

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Unless you've been seeing her for a while, most girls won't go for spontaneous... they'll either have something on or they'll make something up. Why? Because girls aren't like dudes. They need more than a couple hours to work out their outfit, do their hair, consult a psychic, bathe in mango juice or whatever the **** they get up to.
 

tsmith2334

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easylover said:
Unless you've been seeing her for a while, most girls won't go for spontaneous... they'll either have something on or they'll make something up. Why? Because girls aren't like dudes. They need more than a couple hours to work out their outfit, do their hair, consult a psychic, bathe in mango juice or whatever the **** they get up to.
Thanks for the reply. To specify, I mean spontaneous as in day of... Maybe calling at 3 if you want to see her at 6:30... would that give them enough time?
 

Gangster Of Love

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easylover said:
Unless you've been seeing her for a while, most girls won't go for spontaneous... they'll either have something on or they'll make something up. Why? Because girls aren't like dudes. They need more than a couple hours to work out their outfit, do their hair, consult a psychic, bathe in mango juice or whatever the **** they get up to.
:up: Yes, what he just said.

Not only that, but they need to ring up their girlfriends and tell them all about it and overanlyze everything, etc.

Best advice, from my experience, if you kinda know the girl or have talked to her, you will know if she's the spontaneous type or if she's the type that needs everything planned and likes to be in controll.
 
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