Obliteraga
My mind isn't made up, or I wouldn't have posted this thread.
I'm talking theory here. If I were to talk to her here's how it would go down and why. xxx yyy. Pros? Cons?
That's all I'm looking for here. Pros and cons to talking to her, and what I should say for those who believe that breaking up in person is the way to go.
If you think it's a mistake, feel free to elaborate. I value everyone's opinion on this board and am taking everything into consideration
1.) Pros to Talking To Her
As a summary, the main pros are that she could potentially change in fear of losing you or you could stop her from potentially stalking you.
I DO NOT think she would ever stalk you though.
2.) Cons in Talking To Her
As a summary, the main cons are that she DOES NOT CHANGE and is STILL the same person that she was (is), and it either gets you into a physical confrontation or it makes you MORE attracted to her (the issue you have can do this).
Which one do I think will occur? One of the Cons. This girl isn't ready to change yet, probably will NEVER change, most girls like this DON'T.
OP everything I mentioned in my thread earlier is correct (in my opinion). You are very needy and have a low level of self esteem, this is causing you NOT to see the negative consequences of truly engaging with this woman.
This is why I compared it to a bad addiction. When you are addicted to something bad, the bad influences of it keep you BLIND to the negative consequences of it. When you are shooting up that rock, you are only focused on the "high" you are receiving, you dont' even SEE the bad impacts it's having on your brain and body and for the moment you don't even care. OP, you won't really "understand" why you should cut this girl off until you've started to develop a higher level of self esteem.
You mentioned earlier that within weeks of knowing her you "were in love," is this MAINLY because SHE expressed interest in you and you had few women that did during that time? That's NOT love, that's desperation.
Loving yourself is being secure, FULL, and having the ability to provide mature care, charm, and excitement to your mate. You get to this place by first getting to stability internally. Stable financially, emotionally, spiritually, health wise, etc. You are ONE with who YOU ARE. ONE with where you are going in life. You know where you are going, you know what you have to offer, and you KNOW it's good. You have over-flowing joy without people having anything to do with it. As a result, you are naturally confident, naturally self-reliant, naturally masculine, naturally the life of the party, naturally not afraid to approach, etc. etc. All those don juan "tips and techniques" come natural to the guy that LOVES himself.
Once you reach this stage, now you are capable of actually investing love in someone else. Expressing love in a mate is an investment, meaning, you don't just GIVE IT AWAY to anybody. As a result, you become a prudent investor on where you invest your "goods." Again, those don juan "tips and techniques" of not settling for crap from a woman, not taking crap from women, and going after higher quality women, come NATURALLY to the guy that LOVES himself. This is why nobody here needs Sosuave, they need LOVE.
However, at this moment OP you are a horrible investor because you don't understand the value of your goods, thus, you don't understand the loss of giving them to the wrong person. It's like a guy with a million dollars that has no idea of the value of that million dollars, just GIVING IT AWAY to any piece of crap that comes up to him and asks for it. Guess, who's more likely to ask him for it first? That's right, bad investments (bummy addicts) who only want the money to go off and waste it on their dumb ass addictions. That money could have been invested in a growing business, in a prudent charity for an important cause, etc.
This girl is a horrible investment.
1.) She already comes with a baby. This means she made a mistake in selecting a quality long-term mate to breed with.
2.) She doesn't know who the baby's father is. This means she's a wh0re. Point blank. I don't believe the rape claim.
3.) Speaking of the rape claim, I believe it's totally false to cover up the fact that she's a wh0re. Which means she files false rape claims, which means she's one of the ULTIMATE in WORST women EVER created. EVER. OP, do you even understand what false rape claim filers do to a guy's life? Do you know how horrible that is? I don't care if she didn't actually "file" it, to EVEN make a statement about it and lie about it, is ENOUGH in my book.
4.) She's a party girl (the past of wildly smoking, etc. which I DOUBT she's stopped doing)
5.) She talks to other guys that are sexually interested in her IN FRONT OF YOU. (the guy on the phone)
6.) Other guys she talks to says they want to kill you and she doesn't defend you or tell them to stop. Why would she even befriend a person that wants to KILL someone they don't know? Why even befriend someone that wants to KILL someone for NOTHING period? Isn't that telling you something OP? Isn't that telling you that the people that she DECIDES to engage with are low quality/scum? Wouldn't that make her the same?
There are over 200 million women in this country alone. Thousands in your area. THOUSANDS. You need to sit down and get some quiet time to evaluate YOU, so that you see YOUR VALUE. THIS IS THE FIRST THING. Next, survey this field of THOUSANDS of women in your area and go after the ones that are good investments of YOUR "goods" (your time, personality, charm, etc. etc.). You are NOT running out of women. You are NOT running out of suitable partners. You DO NOT have to spend your time on this worthless piece of crap investment.
This girl is NOT crazy. She WON'T stalk you. So don't worry about texting her to avoid that. Don't call, text her, and don't go around the people that remind you of her. Right now you are still negatively addicted and you must begin the rehab stage. The first step is to admit you are addicted, the next step...is AVOID the people, places, and things that cater to that addiction (that includes SPEAKING to her).
