Self love and Self validation

[tesla8520]

How can you validate yourself, or even think that external validation doesn't matter? Or that everything that happens in life shouldn't affect you?

Think of all these people who have developed healthy internal validation, but now:
Think of a person who loses a leg, or a mom and dad who have their first child but he has a rare disease, or someone who can't find a great job with a good salary and still lives with his parents, or someone who has had something in their life they're not proud of and can't change.

Now think of someone who has a beautiful and healthy child, or someone who has a great job, a nice car, a nice house, or someone who is proud of the things they have, which are many things that everyone wants (love, family, friends, money, etc.), receives validation from everyone around them, and is validated constantly and frequently.

Now, the first person has become a rock. This is what happened to many of us here after hardships.
But the second person could also be a rock, and we superficially assume that since they have everything in life, they aren't, or that it's just the result.

How can you love yourself, your life, or simply say "validation doesn't matter," when in reality is not like that?

These people don't suffer from mental illnesses, or other common problems, precisely because the "external" factor also played atl east 50% of the role... Life events and outcomes are fundamental.

What do you think?

 

[Clockwerk50]

Validation does matter. Humans rely on internal and external sources of validation because no one can function without it. The issue isn’t validation itself, but how and where it’s sourced. Healthy validation strengthens you such as meeting self-set goals, building competence, or being evaluated appropriately on specific outputs like job performance. Harmful validation ties your identity to approval, attraction, status, or comparison, making your self-worth unstable, weaker, and dependent on things you don’t control.

The key is awareness. You have to notice when you’re validation-seeking and question whether it’s helping or hurting you and your mission. If it increases your capability, confidence, or influence, it’s likely healthy. If it makes you needy, reactive, or emotionally unstable, it’s working against you and should be cut out.

 

[plumber]

good question. you know what is needed, and are asking how to do it.

there is different things going on in a man.
-thinking
-emotions
-chemicals

its a stack.... lower layer supports upper layer. the mind is a biological computer. if the hardware or the firmware has a glitch the mind does not function as desired. we can put workarounds in and or solve the foundations.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

When think of a person who lost a leg I think of Oscar Pistorius who set numerous paralympic records and was the first double amputee to compete in the Olympics in London in 2012. Before he got convicted of double homicide of course...

Things happen to everyone in life. You can sit around feeling sorry for yourself or you can decide to make the best of the situation.

Essentially you can decide to let life kick your ass or do the ass kicking. Your choice.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I'm not convinced OP isn't an AI bot.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I'm not convinced OP isn't an AI bot.

@jhonny9546 burner account.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Dunno about "validation"... We better damned well LOVE ourselves though, for the simple fact that everyone else's capacity to do so is limited at best, and non-existent at worse

 

[Travel memoir21]

As far as self validation is concerned, it is a must for everyone. But it has to come from the right place morally of course. The key is to have a fair share amount of self esteem where you're validated but not feeling entirely too self absorbed. Being too self absorb leads to selfishness and unneeded arrogance which can hinder your quest for self actualization, this ya gotta know.