"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Self Improvement

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,801
Reaction score
10,036
I've been thinking about self improvement lately. After all, the unofficial motto on this forum is "work on yourself", right? So I started thinking about the general categories that you could improve yourself in. This probably makes it easier to identify areas you can work on. Here's what I came up with:

1. Finances
2. Physical
3. Social
4. Mental/Spiritual
5. Hobbies/Skills

Then you could break these down into subcategories:

1. FINANCES
generate more income
work on career
spend less
budget better

2. PHYSICAL
diet/nutrition
exercise
manage any diseases (quit smoking for example), dental care, health care

3. SOCIAL
love life
sex life
relationships, friends, family
grooming, hygiene, style, appearance (improve your wardrobe or whatever)
converstaional skills

4. Mental/Spiritual
Inner Peace
Inner Dialogue
Reading to increase knowledge, either generally or specific areas, current events

5. Hobbies/Skills
improve skill in sports or hobbies you're interested in
create something, if you're into carpentry make a piece of furniture, if you're a musician write a new song, if you're a painter paint a picture, etc.


I think most everything you can improve can be put into one of those five categories. Anybody have anything else to add?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Joined
Aug 17, 2010
Messages
54
Reaction score
1
Location
Virginia
I have been wanting to make a self improvement journal for a while. You made the organization a lot easier! Maybe you could add places to socialize under social? It looked very dead on though, maybe there isn't much to add then?:cool:


Could you clarify inner peace and inner dialogue?
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,801
Reaction score
10,036
It looked very dead on though, maybe there isn't much to add then?
Thanks for taking the time to comment. I do think the five categories are pretty complete, but obviously it can be better organized into subcategories for sure.
I was thinking one area that a lot of people need to improve on is time management. I suppose that would go under Mental though.

Could you clarify inner peace and inner dialogue?
Inner Dialogue is just basically what they call Inner Game around here. How you talk to yourself, not being negative. Thinking "I'm the sh!t" instead of "I'm a loser". Being confident.

Inner Peace is trickier. Some people are generally happy and at peace and other people live their lives in turmoil. Some people don't know how to be happy, or calm. For some people, spirtuality is not very important - for others it's very important. So I wanted something to address that without getting specifically into one religion, because I'm sure people here have a wide variety of beliefs.
 
Top