Plinco
Master Don Juan
In my experience, the more independent minded I've become, the better my life had been. The more I've taken control for my own sake, the more I've re-shaped the world around me to fit my needs. The reason is straight forward. I know what my needs are more acutely than anyone else. I also know the details of my relationship with my needs and what specific aspect within myself that ought to be worked out or brought out as developed traits. So the conclusion is simple. The more independent you are, the more successful you can potentially be.
I've held the view that people would make that connection, that people would admire me for my independent mindedness. However in many cases nothing could be further than that. Years ago I worked for a place and some manager from another company came in. This guy thought I was doing a good job and patted me on my back. I asked him politely not to do that, and he got upset, I then asked him how would he like it if I patted him on his back. He got even more angry with my question and a verbal altercation ensued that almost started a fist fight between him and I. One of my managers had to get in between us and had to separate us. I think that being in a more self-improved mindset appears as anti-social to those who are in a less developed stage.
I've seen similar things on this forum. I've decided not to name names and just use quotes from people here to illustrate my point. Keep in mind that this is a self-improvement forum.
This is just little bits of from two threads. There are more examples which I'm not going to dig up, but you get the point. Most of these comments got 'likes' from other people which is all the more confusing and frustrating.
What I've learned everywhere I go is that you cannot expect people to understand or appreciate your own development. In fact by expecting people to understand or appreciate your independent mindedness is setting yourself up for failure with those people. The lesson is that never try to convince anyone of anything. I love debating with people but I've noticed that others don't see it that way so a different approach is needed. When I used to work for other people I used to have all kinds of problems with them, so the solution was to work for myself. In my day to day interactions, I pick and chose the people whom I want to interact with and lead by example for those who are less independent minded.
The lessons I've learned are to keep growing but don't expect people to admire you for it; Expect at least some hostility.
I've held the view that people would make that connection, that people would admire me for my independent mindedness. However in many cases nothing could be further than that. Years ago I worked for a place and some manager from another company came in. This guy thought I was doing a good job and patted me on my back. I asked him politely not to do that, and he got upset, I then asked him how would he like it if I patted him on his back. He got even more angry with my question and a verbal altercation ensued that almost started a fist fight between him and I. One of my managers had to get in between us and had to separate us. I think that being in a more self-improved mindset appears as anti-social to those who are in a less developed stage.
I've seen similar things on this forum. I've decided not to name names and just use quotes from people here to illustrate my point. Keep in mind that this is a self-improvement forum.
(That's what I get for having my own preferences instead of someone else's)
so in response I get this:
This is just little bits of from two threads. There are more examples which I'm not going to dig up, but you get the point. Most of these comments got 'likes' from other people which is all the more confusing and frustrating.
What I've learned everywhere I go is that you cannot expect people to understand or appreciate your own development. In fact by expecting people to understand or appreciate your independent mindedness is setting yourself up for failure with those people. The lesson is that never try to convince anyone of anything. I love debating with people but I've noticed that others don't see it that way so a different approach is needed. When I used to work for other people I used to have all kinds of problems with them, so the solution was to work for myself. In my day to day interactions, I pick and chose the people whom I want to interact with and lead by example for those who are less independent minded.
The lessons I've learned are to keep growing but don't expect people to admire you for it; Expect at least some hostility.
