"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

self esteem tip

johnny_depp

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 11, 2006
Messages
94
Reaction score
0
well if anyone feels like s*it try this out.

The first method recommended to develop self esteem is to have goals you are working towards. An activity on how to build self esteem is to record in a diary three concerns that you have in your life. Now simply write down some practical steps you can take to help resolve them. Review your progress after a week and continue to do so. Taking even small steps forward will boost your level of optimism and increase your self esteem. Keeping a diary is a very important tool in developing high self esteem, so the next recommendation we have also makes use of a diary.

Much of the pain of depression and low self esteem has been found to stem from our critical thoughts. Because they become habitual and automatic they act to maintain our pessimism and prevent us from building self esteem. Often we don't even notice we are doing this to ourselves. Once you become aware of these negative put-downs, write them in your diary. Then, alongside, argue against them. For example, if your thought was "I'm hopeless, I always mess things up". You could dispute this by saying "No, I don't always mess up. I may have made a mistake this time, but I'm only human. This doesn't make me a bad person. In fact, I often get things right." By continuing on these lines, you'll draw the sting of your internal critic and can start to gain more self esteem. Our final technique discussed here can also be put into your diary: visualizing a better future.

Visualizing your ideal future is often recomended for attaining goals and it can also work as part of how to build self esteem and confidence. But don't mistake this for daydreaming which is ineffective. An essential part of this method is to compare your imagined future with how reality is now. That way, you'll feel dissatisfied and increase your urge to change things. As mentioned before, moving towards yor goals will help lift your mood, relieve pessimistic thoughts and build your self esteem.

hope I helped. :up:
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

JAS760

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 8, 2007
Messages
52
Reaction score
0
I'm actually gonna try this out, i have really low self-esteem T_T
 
Top