"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Self Depreciation - can it ever work?

MaudGrimes

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Ok, I catch my self doing this a lot. I tend to drop in a few jokes when I'm talking to people (not just girls) that are self depreciating - generally they're humorous and lighthearted though I do seem to do them more around hot women (classic indicator of self esteem issue?).

I know I need to tone this down, but do you think there's room for it at all when chatting to women?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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st_99

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i'd say since it looks like you have made it a habit, you should
cut it out altoghter, just stop doing it.
 

ilikecharlene

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It depends how it is done. Occasionally is fine, but continuously, well who wants to date somebody who doesn't respect themselves?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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FairShake

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It's extremely charming when done about things you clearly are NOT lacking in.

I will put myself down for being stupid or scared/weak because I am, at first glace, smart and tall.

I don't, however, put myself down for being fat or socially awkward because I don't find either of them to be particularly funny and I doubt the other person would too.
 

x86

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I tend to combine self deprecation with self-appreciating humor.

Example: "Sure I am too weak to lift that but I can sure build a machine to do it for me"
 

Chickfight

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Sure, it can be really funny. I usually do it about things that don't really matter, such as singing ability. The "it's not what you say, it's how you say it" rule applies here.

I also agree with Fairshake. The contrast is what makes it funny. Example:

Girl: Oh that John guy always gets into fights, he's so aggressive, aren't you scared to hang out with him?

Guy: What John? Nah, he's like my lil' bro. I'm more scared of you.
 

Mike32ct

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A confident, high self-esteem guy can pull it off. But I would never recommend this to a newbie or someone coming up in the game.

It can be used as an advanced technique though if you know what you are doing.

So it's really up to you and where you're at.
 

Aaron B

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its okay if its *actually* funny

the problem is, most people aren't funny

they say something they think is funny, then they laugh at it, and the other person laughs to be polite

stop laughing at your own jokes and you will find out if they are actually funny to her or not
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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handle

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it works if it's done right. I do it a bunch but usually mixed in with ridiculous ****iness.

Also if someone keeps talking you up then it helps. I have this friend who always makes introductions for me and starts going on about how cool I am (very nice of her) but it makes it a little awkward sometimes. So I make it funnier by throwing in some self-deprecating remarks.
 

Michele l'Arcangelo

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When my voice cracks, I say in a flamboyant voice, "Oh damn! I hope I'm going through puberty again, so my tiny penis will grow!"

Gets laughs and makes them wonder how big you are, which makes them think about your junk in general.
 
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