"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Self Depreciation - can it ever work?

MaudGrimes

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Ok, I catch my self doing this a lot. I tend to drop in a few jokes when I'm talking to people (not just girls) that are self depreciating - generally they're humorous and lighthearted though I do seem to do them more around hot women (classic indicator of self esteem issue?).

I know I need to tone this down, but do you think there's room for it at all when chatting to women?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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st_99

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i'd say since it looks like you have made it a habit, you should
cut it out altoghter, just stop doing it.
 

ilikecharlene

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It depends how it is done. Occasionally is fine, but continuously, well who wants to date somebody who doesn't respect themselves?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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FairShake

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It's extremely charming when done about things you clearly are NOT lacking in.

I will put myself down for being stupid or scared/weak because I am, at first glace, smart and tall.

I don't, however, put myself down for being fat or socially awkward because I don't find either of them to be particularly funny and I doubt the other person would too.
 

x86

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I tend to combine self deprecation with self-appreciating humor.

Example: "Sure I am too weak to lift that but I can sure build a machine to do it for me"
 

Chickfight

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Sure, it can be really funny. I usually do it about things that don't really matter, such as singing ability. The "it's not what you say, it's how you say it" rule applies here.

I also agree with Fairshake. The contrast is what makes it funny. Example:

Girl: Oh that John guy always gets into fights, he's so aggressive, aren't you scared to hang out with him?

Guy: What John? Nah, he's like my lil' bro. I'm more scared of you.
 

Mike32ct

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A confident, high self-esteem guy can pull it off. But I would never recommend this to a newbie or someone coming up in the game.

It can be used as an advanced technique though if you know what you are doing.

So it's really up to you and where you're at.
 

Aaron B

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its okay if its *actually* funny

the problem is, most people aren't funny

they say something they think is funny, then they laugh at it, and the other person laughs to be polite

stop laughing at your own jokes and you will find out if they are actually funny to her or not
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

handle

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it works if it's done right. I do it a bunch but usually mixed in with ridiculous ****iness.

Also if someone keeps talking you up then it helps. I have this friend who always makes introductions for me and starts going on about how cool I am (very nice of her) but it makes it a little awkward sometimes. So I make it funnier by throwing in some self-deprecating remarks.
 

Michele l'Arcangelo

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When my voice cracks, I say in a flamboyant voice, "Oh damn! I hope I'm going through puberty again, so my tiny penis will grow!"

Gets laughs and makes them wonder how big you are, which makes them think about your junk in general.
 
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