"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Self-control Techniques (is it impossible?)

Blacksheep

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Does anyone here ever found a really worth self-control technique.

I tried a lot of stuffs, since forcing my willpower, mind techniques, NLP, Visualization, Self suggestions, and also for last I tried allowing me and not blame when I couldn't resist to something (sugar, alcohol, caffeine and everything that is addictive and can kick off my willpower).

Never found any good technique that is worth.

Is it impossible to achieve? A state of mind where you're free to decide what is really important to you, rather than what is more pleasure and short term gratification? Cause I think this internal freedom only came when you can definitely dominate your mind and your decisions.

I know there must be a answer for that, and would like to hear some thoughts about that.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Mike32ct

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Does anyone here ever found a really worth self-control technique.

I tried a lot of stuffs, since forcing my willpower, mind techniques, NLP, Visualization, Self suggestions, and also for last I tried allowing me and not blame when I couldn't resist to something (sugar, alcohol, caffeine and everything that is addictive and can kick off my willpower).

Never found any good technique that is worth.

Is it impossible to achieve? A state of mind where you're free to decide what is really important to you, rather than what is more pleasure and short term gratification? Cause I think this internal freedom only came when you can definitely dominate your mind and your decisions.

I know there must be a answer for that, and would like to hear some thoughts about that.
It’s an excellent question. I don’t know of a SOLID “hack” or “trick” to this.

I also don’t believe in the whole “You just don’t want it badly enough. Or you just need a good enough reason WHY you want XYZ.”

Self-discipline is hard, even if you really want something and/or have a good reason to want or need it.

“Don’t think; just do” is probably the best thing I’ve heard*.

*It obviously doesn’t mean act blindly. But in most cases, we already know what we should do.
 
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Black Widow Void

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There was a posting a while back that I considered to be very motivating. If you haven't seen it, here it is:

 

switch7

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Think granular. Practice good habits or remove bad habits one at a time, slowly but consistently. And know it will take years and the journey of improvement will never end
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Alvafe

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simple put, there is no simple mind trick, some will work on you and some don't, since i'm one who this kind of thing never work and if I need to impar my willpower I need to force it, but thinking about the down side, the negative of doing something can help doing this, just think what you want to do and list the negatives, normally the negatives will out weight any positive you can think, and most of time you need to keep yourself busy doing something
 

Blacksheep

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Updating this topic:

I just started my treatment with bupropion. There is 5 days I'm on it and it's the first antidepressive I've tried that seems to be effective. I felt positive effects in the first day.

It is like my mind becoming clear again and I'm not feeling the desire for alcohol anymore. So it was my last theory, that as I abused from alcohol those last years it may imbalance my neurochemicals and create this depression and compulsive mood. So bupropion seems to help me with that.

I came to a point where the pain was so much, and my compulsions just getting worse... That no willpower could solve it. Also I spent 8 years of my life trying therapy and natural options... and none of them gave me permanent results. I'm really confident that with this medicine I will overcome those stuffs.
 
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