Seeking Advice About Level of Honesty with Multiple Women

[NewMan]

What is the concensus here? Is this too good to be true and does this ever work out? I can't seem to find the downside. If she flakes for any reason, I just next her. Being f-buddies doesn't afford much emotional investment.

Flakey is reasonable with a f buddy. But truth be told, if she has time to flake on you she's more than an F buddy.

An F buddy is someone you call up around 11PM and say:

You: "What you doing? Oh OK. I was thinking I'd head on over there - be there in about 10mins?"


If your planning dates (where she can back out) your dating her.


But anyways onto your original question.

This situation will not last long. She will try and get back in there with you - and her attitude will either be "We are back together" or "I'm going to get back at this guy". That's in my opinion.

I'm currently dealing with a chick who is really into me - but I want something casual. I tell her this, she agrees, then 2 weeks later it's back to normal.

Hope you have better luck.

 

[Mister Big]

Originally posted by NewMan
Flakey is reasonable with a f buddy. But truth be told, if she has time to flake on you she's more than an F buddy.

An F buddy is someone you call up around 11PM and say:

You: "What you doing? Oh OK. I was thinking I'd head on over there - be there in about 10mins?"

She's not a f-buddy, yet. But that's the plan. It may take a bit of adjustment to get there on her end. She lives about an hour distance away from where I live but she's 20 minutes from my job. We need to plan to some extent, but I expect I should be in the driver's seat with setting dates last minute. She will need time to adjust to the new way and hopefully a few dates removed with other guys will help her appreciate the new situation. If she finds prince charming, more power to her. We'll see if she can adjust. If she doesn't and flakes again, NEXT.

Originally posted by NewMan
This situation will not last long. She will try and get back in there with you - and her attitude will either be "We are back together" or "I'm going to get back at this guy". That's in my opinion.

I'm currently dealing with a chick who is really into me - but I want something casual. I tell her this, she agrees, then 2 weeks later it's back to normal.

Hope you have better luck.

I hope this is not the case, but I expect its more than possible. This girl is very tom boyish and thus not prone to extreme drama scenes. That's why we hung out so easily. I am gambling that her dramatic side doesn't run her emotions and destroy this new arrangement. If it does, the distance between us should protect me from any fallout if she flakes. I just don't see her going this route because her personality is solid and shouldn't allow her to turn septic. Now that everything is on the table that should have been in the beginning, I hope to reconnect to the many positive aspects (good times, good sex, fun) and forget the misunderstandings. I have learned a lot from this experience. We'll see how it unfolds.

 

[iveyleeger]

Flakes == low IL == no f-buddy

But we'll see.

 

[Mister Big]

Originally posted by iveyleeger
Flakes == low IL == no f-buddy

But we'll see.

There are many reasons why a woman flakes on you. Menstrual cycle, work stress, low IL, insecure with your dating/sleeping other people, infrequent dating, family problems, etc. Her IL might diminish over time if she can go with being my f-buddy. Luckily, I have rocked her world, so she should hang in there for awhile just for the sex if for no other reason.

Finding out what happens here doesn't seem risky on my end.