"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Seeing X with new BF/What would you do?

R

Reto

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Ok. So yesterday I had to get a flat fixed. I was at the autmotive place waiting for my car, when I see my Ex-GF walk in. I get up to go say hello, and suddenly see her new BF coming in too. (SHe dumped me for him).

I turned around and sat back down. A couple of minutes later, my car was ready, and I left. Me and her are cool. But, the BF hates me and forbids her to speak to me. I called her one time and he answered. I told him "I'll talk to her later when I see her" which was BS. I know she got an ear full on that one.

The story is a lot more elaborate than that, but you get the jist of it.

So how do you handle or deal with the awkwardness of seeing an Ex with the new BF?

Anything? Any stories?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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LostbutFound

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Heres how I would handle it...

First off, dont get discouraged if you see him with her...just play it off as me and her are done, we're cool, I got no beef...just play it cool and talk to her like a normal friend...

This will do two things...first, it will show her that you're not some heartbroken guy that wants her back...Second, this will most likely make the new guy flip....and heres the best part, when he does flip, he makes himself look like an ass which makes the girl see him as a fVck up, and she'll take it that he is threatened by you...I gaurantee she will be attracted to you once again when this happens...She will see that you are totally playing it cool and this guy is overreacting...

Now I will give you a little caution on this...This girl could love the idea that he is will go crazy over her talking to you and she could end up believing that he just really loves her or some crazy **** like that....But then you will know right there whether or not she was worth it...If she does stay with him when he goes nuts because she thinks he "loves her", then she is crazy herself and you dont need that...

So basically, playing it cool with her and talking to her like everything is fine with you, will give you an answer one way or another....but the best part is, you can just sit back and let it happen, no extra effort other than trying to keep your cool and not be desperate.
 
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Reto

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I actually have no desire to get back together with her. We decided to remain friends because we know each other like the back of our hands.

I should have approached them. I still call her Sweetie and she either calls me hon or babie. That would have been funny as h3ll. "Hey Sweetie. What's up?" She probably would have taken all sorts of grief for it.

But like I told her, either you put up with that sh1t, or you don't. Simple as that...

I need to start calling and leaving messages...
 
L

LostbutFound

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NOOOO, dont start calling...If anything, give her a call once every couple of weeks, and only call once...

Ok, so you dont want to get back, thats cool...but my question is this...If you have no intention of getting back with her, then why did you put up this post??

You basically answered your own question...You have no intention to get back with her, so you shouldnt care about how you are with her when you see her with the new guy...

Im not raggin on you or anything, im just sayin, it just seems that if you posted something like this, you must have some kind of feelings left, otherwise it wouldnt bother you how you act
 
P

Pimp-sicle

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If you have "no desire" to get back together with her then why do you even care?? I know I wouldn't give a flyin' fuvk. Staying friends after a relationship is never a good idea.

All the girls I've date either love me or hate me after things go south. And guess what?? I wouldn't have it any other way.



PIMP
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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D

DJnomore

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Originally posted by Reto
Ok. So yesterday I had to get a flat fixed. I was at the autmotive place waiting for my car, when I see my Ex-GF walk in. I get up to go say hello, and suddenly see her new BF coming in too. (SHe dumped me for him).

I turned around and sat back down. A couple of minutes later, my car was ready, and I left. Me and her are cool. But, the BF hates me and forbids her to speak to me. I called her one time and he answered. I told him "I'll talk to her later when I see her" which was BS. I know she got an ear full on that one.

The story is a lot more elaborate than that, but you get the jist of it.

So how do you handle or deal with the awkwardness of seeing an Ex with the new BF?

Anything? Any stories?
Click to expand...
Hey its nice to see other guys have the same situations that I do.

=)

Best of luck guy.
 
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