"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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See-sawing over a girl, what should I do?

The LadyKiller

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Can girls change? Can a girl who, six months ago, give you a fake phone number now be genuinely be interested? I might be on the verge of finding out. Let me explain:

Awhile ago, I met a HB 8.5. She had a close girl friend who seemed to have it in for me (to this day I don't know why; mutual friends say it was something very trivial). When this friend was around, HB 8.5 would alternate being nice and b*tchy. When I suggested we hang out, HB said yes, then gave me a fake number and was otherwise immature. She was immediately nexted. :trouble: Around this time, I learned the mutual friends didn't care for 8.5's good friend either; they thought she was pretentious and tried to get away with her good looks. Apparently, the friend did this immature bs a lot and it perhaps influenced the HB ("act of solidarity" as one friend said). This got me wondering: what would happen if the HB's friend left and went far far away?

Well, that's exactly what happened. Soon after her friend moved 1000 miles away :wave: , relations between me and the HB warmed up. Slowly and gradually, as a result of having to see her often, we began getting along well. Recently, some of my other plates have been slowing (I'm getting the runaround or they keep the conversation at smalltalk). HB 8.5 has suddenly become one of the few HB's who is intelligent and can hold a conversation. She laughs at my jokes, she actively engages in the conversation, we have several similarities with values/morals/etc. She'll even open up and talk about things she wouldn't want others to know about. We get along way better than even at the time I met her. However, she seems to like playing hard to get (problem with a girl being smart). I usually initiate things since I'm an outgoing guy. But when I don't, she is conveniently "around" until I acknowledge her. In both cases, she seems happy to talk/chill. It's weird. :confused: This week, we were talking and she was doing the dangling-shoe-off-the-tip-of-her-foot trick. I don't know if it's a sign or if it means nothing - the web suggests it might be a big flirting sign - so I figured I'd mention it here.

Could this girl have changed? Like an elephant, I never forget. I still remember what happened six months ago and it gives me some pause. At the same time, it seems her entire attitude has changed. To put it briefly, I can't tell if she is leading me on or not, and I don't want to get burned again. What do you make of this?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Purefilth

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Options,
1. smash her back doors in and move on
2. get stuck in the friendzone
3.askher about the fake numbe, making her feel real awkward so she never talks to you again out of embarrasment
 

JohnChops

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Uh oh sounds like a case of.oneitis is brewing. Go out with her and if she flakes again then forget her. And yes girls.do change . I used to know this girl who was a complete ***** and.a ***** to everyone. Now she's actually kind and not a huge *****. But you still never know so judge by her actions not her worthless words.
 

The LadyKiller

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Yeah, going for it might be the best option. My only pause, as mentioned before, is what happened six months ago. I don't want to get burned twice by the same girl. But maybe she's changed?

JohnChops, I'm aware of the "oneitis" fear, but I think more of it is I'm in a little rut. My other plates have slowed down considerably (I keep getting the runaround or they won't get past smalltalk), this HB is one of the only single girls I know who seems to have an interest when we interact.
 

JohnChops

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The LadyKiller said:
Yeah, going for it might be the best option. My only pause, as mentioned before, is what happened six months ago. I don't want to get burned twice by the same girl. But maybe she's changed?

JohnChops, I'm aware of the "oneitis" fear, but I think more of it is I'm in a little rut. My other plates have slowed down considerably (I keep getting the runaround or they won't get past smalltalk), this HB is one of the only single girls I know who seems to have an interest when we interact.

Right there your putting to much emphasis on having a woman in your life. Why not ignore all these plates for a bit and work on your life, do some hobbies, stay busy. Then strike up a conversation after a bit or hang out with one of them. You dont really need to even talk to your plates unless its to set up a date or small conversations just to lay ground work anyway. But I understand where you are, Im there too, I just dont care because women are nothing :p
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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