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Seduction it’s not the whole picture

jhonny9546

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You thought you'd marry the girl you grew up with, stay close to your childhood friends, build a predictable life with the same habits and milestones.
Marriage, kids, a shared home, a nice car, trips together, and the quiet pressure to do what everyone else was doing.


But for some, something changed. That script broke, and suddenly, as single men, you began seeing the world, women, those around you, and yourselves through a different lens.


Before, you may have lacked respect, had no time for yourself, felt tied to obligations, but you had frequent, though average, sex, and a place in the social fabric.
Now, perhaps you’re more respected, more mature, with a higher sense of self-worth. The sex is less frequent but better, yet you feel more isolated, because you know you can only rely on yourself.


Life changes. I see it in mine, and in others. I read it in the words shared here and elsewhere.
Every culture, whether American, Italian, Thai, Indian, Chinese, or Japanese, gave us an idea of adulthood — a home, a family, a solid career. But for many, that ideal was never fully reached.


We feel betrayed by a world that promised warmth but often delivers isolation. Let’s not lie to ourselves — yes, we gain value and strength over time, but that doesn’t mean we don’t feel alone. I know what that feels like, and so do you.


Some say you can feel lonelier in bad company, but those who’ve built families know what I mean.
It’s not about idealizing, it’s about belonging to something greater, a cultural project, a shared human effort.


Our culture has weakened, but men still thrive where they can build, homes, tools, relationships, meaning.
We don’t grow by focusing only on ourselves. Men create, they cooperate. And cooperation, not competition, is what made this world better.


So yes, forums like this focus on "building value," "demanding respect," and "never lowering your worth." And that’s useful. But it’s not the whole picture.


To build something meaningful, you must give something of yourself, time, effort, commitment. Risk.
A man finds purpose in building, especially in building a family. And that truth may not be clear to the young or inexperienced, but it will be, in time. There’s no greater joy than being truly loved by a woman, your children, your friends, and the people you meet.
No greater value than that.


This is the case of people who meet when they're young, live with little, and make their plans, on the fortunate path of their journey, they'll face no obstacles (we know of). Sometimes, less means having more
 

BaronOfHair

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You thought you'd marry the girl you grew up with, stay close to your childhood friends...
Until the latter bound the former to an altar in an abandoned warehouse the day after high school graduation, carved out her heart , and offered it up to Yog-Sothoth , in exchange for promises of eternal wealth and pleasure

Dunno if The Great Old Ones rewarded their faithful's efforts, nonetheless this did free me up to pursue other women, without going through the hassle of breaking up with my crush since 5th grade
 
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jhonny9546

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Until the latter bound the former to an altar in an abandoned warehouse the day after high school graduation, carved out her heart , and offered it up to Yog-Sothoth , in exchange for promises of eternal wealth and pleasure

Dunno if The Great Old Ones rewarded their faithful's efforts, nonetheless this did free me up to pursue other women, without going through the hassle of breaking up with my crush since 5th grade
This is hard to understand in italian! ahah, what do you mean?
 

jhonny9546

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Believing a woman will truly love you is a mistake. A woman's love is always conditional. Take away what you provide and see what happens. And I'm not talking just monetary things.
I understand what you're saying. We, as men, also love her for her beauty and the things she can bring into a relationship. As a man, I also understand that those of our sex feel a deep emotion when it comes to love. I don’t know if a woman can truly feel the same—I’m not a woman.
 

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

BeExcellent

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Honestly I do not relate to your post.

Here's why. I'm never lonely. Why? I LOVE me. I am my best friend. People who have a solid relationship with themselves do not need someone else or something else to feel better or more complete or introduce meaning.

That means I show up whole in relationships with other people. I enjoy others, I choose relationship because it is wonderful to have others in my life, but I don't feel incomplete without that.

Here's the thing about seduction. Read this over and over:

Seduction is NOT reality. It never was and it never will be. Seduction, to be powerful, requires mystery, intrigue, unknown things.

Familiarity kiils the seductive energy. They key to keeping seduction alive in a LTR or marriage is to retain your own individual identity, to maintain some space in places from your partner. You can do this in many ways, from experiencing new things together, to small efforts to surprise and delight one another.

This is the reason marriage is so tough. In a marriage you must deal with all the life stresses. You must deal with all the heavy things, the mundane things. This is why a new lover carries so much intrigue....because you already know so much about your spouse, and you fail to keep mystery alive between you.

Meaningful connection can be built certainly, but that is not the same things as seduction, and it takes conscious effort to keep secuction alive with a person who is so familiar to you.
 

Scaramouche

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