"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Secret to not divorcing

MackJr

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I put this in "Anything else", since it's not really about DJing.

I think the "secret" to not divorcing is simply...not divorcing. In cultures where it's frowned upon, people don't do it. Since people can get them, and in fact women are rewarded for doing so in our society, they will.

What I'm saying is I don't think it has anything to do with relationship skill, DJ skill, LTR skill or being a master of psychology. It's just a matter of how much the two people involved are disposed to not give up.

I think the real thing then, is, assuming that you're not the divorcing type, figuring out how to determine what a "non-divorcing woman" is like. There's got to be some characteristics, be it personality or upbringing or whatever. If we could figure out what those characteristics were, we'd be able to have LTRs without the fear of losing so much over B.S.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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cave dweller

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divorce.....

MackJR,

The doctors who work in this field ask the same question.

ie.

Why is it that today these two 'love birds' can't get enough of one another and three years after they are married they are trying kill each other?

Good question.

cave dweller
 

Fender

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Ye well...I think living with others brings out the worst in people.

Couple that with a lack of chemistry after seeing each other everyday.

Its a good point though mackjr.

Society created this thing called marriage, but it didn't care to think of finishing off the job and making divorce a BAD thing (to the woman).

-fender-
 

bbestar

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Im from the philippines and divorce is really frowned upon.

When divorce isn't an option, it forces you to make it work.

My parents are still together after 22 years and even happier then before. Without counciling, ever.

If the father has determination he will make it work
 

Scrumtulescence

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Originally posted by MackJr
I put this in "Anything else", since it's not really about DJing.

I think the "secret" to not divorcing is simply...not divorcing.
Well goddamn, you some kinda scholar or somethin?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Re: divorce.....

Originally posted by cave dweller
...Why is it that today these two 'love birds' can't get enough of one another and three years after they are married they are trying kill each other?
Complacency.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by bbestar
Im from the philippines and divorce is really frowned upon.

When divorce isn't an option, it forces you to make it work.

My parents are still together after 22 years and even happier then before. Without counciling, ever.

If the father has determination he will make it work
So getting to know the person to figure out they are the right person plays little into this. Even if it's not a predefined marriage, all that is needed determination, even if it's readily apparent that you married the wrong person.
 

cave dweller

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57%

hey,

I think the divorce rate in the US runs at about 57%.

cave dweller
 

Brian20o2

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57%! Dang. That cant be good for all the kids being brought up in 2 households, or without a dad. My parents divorced after 13 years. I dont think I wanna get married anymore, It seems like marrige is just a precursor to divorce.

And dont even get me started on men gettin the worse half of the divorce. My dad had owned and rented out 7+ houses when he married. now 2 years after the divorce he lives in a trailer and barley gets by from his disability money.

Luckly my dad is always trying to get better (studying and taking a few college courses, dating, etc.) even at the ripe old age of 53
 

oakraiderz2

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Originally posted by Brian20o2
57%! Dang. That cant be good for all the kids being brought up in 2 households, or without a dad. My parents divorced after 13 years. I dont think I wanna get married anymore, It seems like marrige is just a precursor to divorce.

And dont even get me started on men gettin the worse half of the divorce. My dad had owned and rented out 7+ houses when he married. now 2 years after the divorce he lives in a trailer and barley gets by from his disability money.

Luckly my dad is always trying to get better (studying and taking a few college courses, dating, etc.) even at the ripe old age of 53
Preeeee nup tuail (sp?) agree meent.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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MackJr

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Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
So getting to know the person to figure out they are the right person plays little into this. Even if it's not a predefined marriage, all that is needed determination, even if it's readily apparent that you married the wrong person.
You're making a presumption. That there is such thing as a right or wrong person.

The whole DJ and PUA concept is based on the idea that you can change yourself to become attractive and successful with women.

Well if that kind of change is possible for attraction, then it stands to reason that two people can change what they do with each other to have a successful marriage.

The only real difference is that to be a DJ it's on you. To have a successful marriage, it takes two.
 

bbestar

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Originally posted by Brian20o2
57%! Dang. That cant be good for all the kids being brought up in 2 households, or without a dad. My parents divorced after 13 years. I dont think I wanna get married anymore, It seems like marrige is just a precursor to divorce.

And dont even get me started on men gettin the worse half of the divorce. My dad had owned and rented out 7+ houses when he married. now 2 years after the divorce he lives in a trailer and barley gets by from his disability money.

Luckly my dad is always trying to get better (studying and taking a few college courses, dating, etc.) even at the ripe old age of 53
:(
 

Brian20o2

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Originally posted by bbestar
:(
Dont be sad man. If theres one thing Ive learned from the whole incident its to look at the bright side. eg. My dad lives in a trailer, BUT its a waterfront property witha great view on a nice little island.
This is a view from my window

And that little sailboat... Thats my baby:)
 

Page

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Brian20o2 Did your dad form a corporation to protect his properties or did he hold everything in his own name?
 

Brian20o2

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Originally posted by Page
Brian20o2 Did your dad form a corporation to protect his properties or did he hold everything in his own name?
I dunno. I wasnt really paying attention at the time. My guess is that he held it under his name... but then again I was chronicly depressed and 13.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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