"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Second Date Question?

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MtnMan

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Went out with hb7 Friday, had a fun time, decent make out session at the end of the night. Shot her a text today proposing getting together this week, she enthusiastically agreed.

The weather is supposed to be crap this week, so that sort of kills my idea of a motorcycle ride or a nice evening of bar hopping on the town. I live about 50 minute drive from the main town where she lives, do I just sack up and invite her over for dinner and movie and escalate as required? Or suggest dinner and movie at her place? Or just go out on the town again? Thoughts gents?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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narcissist

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Gauge her interest level.

High interest level - you could ask her to a dumpster and she'd be enthusiastically down.

Low interest level - you could invite her to eat with the queen of England and shed find some excuse to flake.

Simple as that.

Gauge her IL and if u think its high follow your plan on dinner and movie at your house
 
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MtnMan

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her interested level is middle of the road, maybe a little higher than middle. Not high IL though.
 
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MOTU

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Mtnman, if you are trying to build interest, I am fond of dates where you are doing something, even better if you can compete at it. Play shuffleboard (the bar kind not the one with sticks), ride go-carts, hike, some activity that perhaps she wouldn't normally do. I find it keeps convo fresh and sets you apart from the dinner and movie or club guys.

That being said I am re-reading anti dumps machine and perhaps it's not possible to build interest at all... Maybe discover interest.. I dunno.

But if it's hump time, plan a date where the logistics don't kill the mood.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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SgtSplacker

SgtSplacker

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I don't like to be too available early on in a relationship. I would totally use the bad weather to foster a little missing feeling in her. This is good, you have to keep this going...

Don't want her to get used to some rain, sleet, or snow thing...

When you begin a relationship there's an initial infatuation period. Then both people pull back a bit and reevaluate the whole thing. Don't get caught out there high and dry when the tides roll back. Be the one to evaluate her, not the other way around...
 
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MtnMan

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MOTU said:
Mtnman, if you are trying to build interest, I am fond of dates where you are doing something, even better if you can compete at it. Play shuffleboard (the bar kind not the one with sticks), ride go-carts, hike, some activity that perhaps she wouldn't normally do. I find it keeps convo fresh and sets you apart from the dinner and movie or club guys.

That being said I am re-reading anti dumps machine and perhaps it's not possible to build interest at all... Maybe discover interest.. I dunno.

But if it's hump time, plan a date where the logistics don't kill the mood.
Click to expand...
I think it could be hump time, or it will by date 3 if I don't mess it up. I'd love to take her on a motorcycle ride and do a cool hike or something, but weather won't allow it this time of year in VT.
 
M

MtnMan

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SgtSplacker said:
I don't like to be too available early on in a relationship. I would totally use the bad weather to foster a little missing feeling in her.

Don't want her to get used to some rain, sleet, or snow thing...

When you begin a relationship there's an initial infatuation period. Then both people pull back a bit and reevaluate the whole thing. Don't get caught out there high and dry when the tides roll back. Be the one to be evaluating her, not the other way around...
Click to expand...
so you are saying to cancel for this week because of the weather to make her miss me?
 
SgtSplacker

SgtSplacker

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MtnMan said:
so you are saying to cancel for this week because of the weather to make her miss me?
Click to expand...
Yes, just do it in such a way that she doesn't think your avoiding her or something. Use the weather..

You HAVE to keep her desire for you high.

Cancel this week, but talk about your awesome plans for next week...
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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pyros

pyros

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SgtSplacker said:
Yes, just do it in such a way that she doesn't think your avoiding her or something. Use the weather..

You HAVE to keep her desire for you high.

Cancel this week, but talk about your awesome plans for next week...
Click to expand...


what a load of crap man, horrible advise.

So you want to increase her IL by cancelling a date with her? are you dumb?

Just plan whatever activity is kind of fun/interesting, it does not have to be something spectacular, just something you think you both would enjoy:
go to the damn cinema plus dinner or an icecream
go bowling
go to a nice coffeeshop plus a walk
tell her to come to watch a movie at your place (if you want to play it direct)
etc
etc

I WOULD NOT cancel a date, what the heck? do you want her to think that you do not like her? do you want her to meet another dude in the meanwhile? do you want her to loose interest in you?

Just do not bombard her with attention, that's all.
Keep it flowing.
 
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MtnMan

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called her, she was very keen to meet up. I suggested making dinner at her place or mine. She is all about it. Game on for bang? Methinks yes.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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