"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Second Date Question?

MtnMan

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Went out with hb7 Friday, had a fun time, decent make out session at the end of the night. Shot her a text today proposing getting together this week, she enthusiastically agreed.

The weather is supposed to be crap this week, so that sort of kills my idea of a motorcycle ride or a nice evening of bar hopping on the town. I live about 50 minute drive from the main town where she lives, do I just sack up and invite her over for dinner and movie and escalate as required? Or suggest dinner and movie at her place? Or just go out on the town again? Thoughts gents?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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narcissist

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Gauge her interest level.

High interest level - you could ask her to a dumpster and she'd be enthusiastically down.

Low interest level - you could invite her to eat with the queen of England and shed find some excuse to flake.

Simple as that.

Gauge her IL and if u think its high follow your plan on dinner and movie at your house
 

MtnMan

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her interested level is middle of the road, maybe a little higher than middle. Not high IL though.
 

MOTU

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Mtnman, if you are trying to build interest, I am fond of dates where you are doing something, even better if you can compete at it. Play shuffleboard (the bar kind not the one with sticks), ride go-carts, hike, some activity that perhaps she wouldn't normally do. I find it keeps convo fresh and sets you apart from the dinner and movie or club guys.

That being said I am re-reading anti dumps machine and perhaps it's not possible to build interest at all... Maybe discover interest.. I dunno.

But if it's hump time, plan a date where the logistics don't kill the mood.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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SgtSplacker

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I don't like to be too available early on in a relationship. I would totally use the bad weather to foster a little missing feeling in her. This is good, you have to keep this going...

Don't want her to get used to some rain, sleet, or snow thing...

When you begin a relationship there's an initial infatuation period. Then both people pull back a bit and reevaluate the whole thing. Don't get caught out there high and dry when the tides roll back. Be the one to evaluate her, not the other way around...
 

MtnMan

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MOTU said:
Mtnman, if you are trying to build interest, I am fond of dates where you are doing something, even better if you can compete at it. Play shuffleboard (the bar kind not the one with sticks), ride go-carts, hike, some activity that perhaps she wouldn't normally do. I find it keeps convo fresh and sets you apart from the dinner and movie or club guys.

That being said I am re-reading anti dumps machine and perhaps it's not possible to build interest at all... Maybe discover interest.. I dunno.

But if it's hump time, plan a date where the logistics don't kill the mood.
I think it could be hump time, or it will by date 3 if I don't mess it up. I'd love to take her on a motorcycle ride and do a cool hike or something, but weather won't allow it this time of year in VT.
 

MtnMan

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SgtSplacker said:
I don't like to be too available early on in a relationship. I would totally use the bad weather to foster a little missing feeling in her.

Don't want her to get used to some rain, sleet, or snow thing...

When you begin a relationship there's an initial infatuation period. Then both people pull back a bit and reevaluate the whole thing. Don't get caught out there high and dry when the tides roll back. Be the one to be evaluating her, not the other way around...
so you are saying to cancel for this week because of the weather to make her miss me?
 

SgtSplacker

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MtnMan said:
so you are saying to cancel for this week because of the weather to make her miss me?
Yes, just do it in such a way that she doesn't think your avoiding her or something. Use the weather..

You HAVE to keep her desire for you high.

Cancel this week, but talk about your awesome plans for next week...
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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pyros

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SgtSplacker said:
Yes, just do it in such a way that she doesn't think your avoiding her or something. Use the weather..

You HAVE to keep her desire for you high.

Cancel this week, but talk about your awesome plans for next week...


what a load of crap man, horrible advise.

So you want to increase her IL by cancelling a date with her? are you dumb?

Just plan whatever activity is kind of fun/interesting, it does not have to be something spectacular, just something you think you both would enjoy:
go to the damn cinema plus dinner or an icecream
go bowling
go to a nice coffeeshop plus a walk
tell her to come to watch a movie at your place (if you want to play it direct)
etc
etc

I WOULD NOT cancel a date, what the heck? do you want her to think that you do not like her? do you want her to meet another dude in the meanwhile? do you want her to loose interest in you?

Just do not bombard her with attention, that's all.
Keep it flowing.
 

MtnMan

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called her, she was very keen to meet up. I suggested making dinner at her place or mine. She is all about it. Game on for bang? Methinks yes.
 
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