"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Second chance.

DubstepGuy

Don Juan
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So, i made a couple posts about a girl i liked on here 2 years ago. I didn't fail with her per-se, our contact sorta dwindled. However We started catching up last night over facebook (we used to live next to eachother but i moved a mile away and we don't see each other) and talking about how we used to stay up all night blah blah, then i gave her a couple of compliments. Now its like a reversal, she's talking about how she's got low self confidence and how i've got so much more confidence than before, then she starts talking about us meeting up again. What would my best course of action be? bearing in mind i want to be in a relationship with this girl?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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thunder_god

Master Don Juan
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Just the fact that you mention that you want to be in a relationship with her already tells me your in a losing battle. You need to get rid of that mindset and be outcome independent. As for what you should do at this point, is if she suggests you two meetup, then go meetup. Be flirtatious, funny, and just have fun with her. If she seems interested then escalate and go for the kiss. Then further escalate tell you sleep with her.

Also don't forget to spin plates.
 

TheMonkeyKing

Master Don Juan
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I got in to a situation like this with a bird I used to date (and bang) a few years back. Met up with her again at the beginning of this year, but hadn't really improved myself that much since I dated her previously.

Needless to say I saw her a couple of times, but nothing so much as a kiss on the cheek: NEXT and escalate own worth.

Carry on if you think you can wow her in to the sheets. Otherwise, crack on man.
 

DubstepGuy

Don Juan
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I suppose 1 years worth of no contact paid off. I got a message saying "I'm such a good girlfriend" she seems attracted but its mixed at the moment.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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