Hello!
I messed up a HB8 that had natural attraction and girlfriend potential. Is there recovery? Here's the story:
Met the gal on POF. Hit it off right away, conversations over the phone and text. Took it slow and built the anticipation. Girl started to text more and more. I answered sporadically.
Met the girl for first date in person and realized, oh no! She's more awesome than I expected and lost a little confidence but hid it pretty well. Talked in restaurant for 5 hours. Planned on 3 hours, but time flew. It is natural for both of us and time flies.
Got second date. Spent in her work's parking lot in my car. Talked for 5 hours. Could not escalate because of distance to homes and work obligation for me next morning. Denied her a kiss even though I really wanted it. Got third date.
Third date take to unique restaurant. Lots of touching and almost kiss but denied it. Told her I didn't know if she could handle a kiss from me. I'm going crazy inside. I really want to kiss her and more but kept control. Got fourth date.
Day before fourth date, decide to escalate. Call girl day before date and say, hey I decided to vacuum, why don't you come over and see my good work at my house. She is super excited and comes over (it's a 60m drive).
She gets there and I turn into mush/nice guy AFC and don't make much of a move. We sleep together/cuddle, but no action because I actually get scared! (how crazy!!!) She senses the change from DJ to chump. Next day she spends most of the day at my house working on her laptop instead of what we were going to do... a hike. I'm panicking now (uncharacteristically because she started to develop oneitis in me) so I dote on her while she's doing her work. The day gets chilly and distant. She leaves before the evening. No call or messages that night.
I panic and text her and message her about 5 times. One time each day. No response.
Planned date comes along and no message. I realize i'm screwed. I send a message asking if we are still going on date. She messages: "You are a nice guy. Too nice. I would prefer if you stopped messaging me. I tried but I don't have feelings for you." I did not answer the eMail until the next day, and I answer it super chump by building her pedestal. I can't believe the devolving of my self.
I realized just as I pressed the send button that I was probably sealing my doom. Now, I'm wondering if I have any way out of it.
I know she had natural attraction to me so that message was BS and I messed it up. I realized she was one of those that is one of my ideal dream girls and it broke my carefully built frame.
Is there a recovery option at this point or should I just live and learn and possibly weep. I am currently in no contact since that last message from her and to her.
-wiz
I messed up a HB8 that had natural attraction and girlfriend potential. Is there recovery? Here's the story:
Met the gal on POF. Hit it off right away, conversations over the phone and text. Took it slow and built the anticipation. Girl started to text more and more. I answered sporadically.
Met the girl for first date in person and realized, oh no! She's more awesome than I expected and lost a little confidence but hid it pretty well. Talked in restaurant for 5 hours. Planned on 3 hours, but time flew. It is natural for both of us and time flies.
Got second date. Spent in her work's parking lot in my car. Talked for 5 hours. Could not escalate because of distance to homes and work obligation for me next morning. Denied her a kiss even though I really wanted it. Got third date.
Third date take to unique restaurant. Lots of touching and almost kiss but denied it. Told her I didn't know if she could handle a kiss from me. I'm going crazy inside. I really want to kiss her and more but kept control. Got fourth date.
Day before fourth date, decide to escalate. Call girl day before date and say, hey I decided to vacuum, why don't you come over and see my good work at my house. She is super excited and comes over (it's a 60m drive).
She gets there and I turn into mush/nice guy AFC and don't make much of a move. We sleep together/cuddle, but no action because I actually get scared! (how crazy!!!) She senses the change from DJ to chump. Next day she spends most of the day at my house working on her laptop instead of what we were going to do... a hike. I'm panicking now (uncharacteristically because she started to develop oneitis in me) so I dote on her while she's doing her work. The day gets chilly and distant. She leaves before the evening. No call or messages that night.
I panic and text her and message her about 5 times. One time each day. No response.
Planned date comes along and no message. I realize i'm screwed. I send a message asking if we are still going on date. She messages: "You are a nice guy. Too nice. I would prefer if you stopped messaging me. I tried but I don't have feelings for you." I did not answer the eMail until the next day, and I answer it super chump by building her pedestal. I can't believe the devolving of my self.
I realized just as I pressed the send button that I was probably sealing my doom. Now, I'm wondering if I have any way out of it.I know she had natural attraction to me so that message was BS and I messed it up. I realized she was one of those that is one of my ideal dream girls and it broke my carefully built frame.
Is there a recovery option at this point or should I just live and learn and possibly weep. I am currently in no contact since that last message from her and to her.
-wiz
