Screw "ONEitis" - I'm obsessed with "girls" in the plural

[OnTheWayUp]

Gentlemen, I need some tough love. What I'm about to write is going to be very AFC, but it's how I feel, and I need you to kick me out of it.

Anyone looking at me would think that I am very confident, and that I have phenomenal grounds for being so. I go to one of the top universities in England, where I have received two different scholarships in the last four years, and was nominated today for a third one. I speak 3 languages fluently, and am learning 2 more. I have played guitar in bands since the age of 9 (I'm now 21), and I still play in 2 bands today. I don't play sport as much as I probably should, but where I have done, I've found success- I was soccer captain last year. I have a fair few friends, and was recently voted party organiser by a society I'm involved with.

Sounds good? I agree. But I'm not fulfilled by it. I've been academically and musically successful my entire life, and whilst I draw some degree of self-esteem from it, lately I've developed a "goes without saying attitude" to these achievements. I'm so used to receiving praise in these areas that I barely notice it anymore. My social and sporting success has come to me later in life, and as such feels more valuable in a sense.

So what more do I want? I know this is going to sound AFC, but I am obsessed with girls. I'm past the oneitis stage (been there, done that), and I understand the theory of pick up plus the philosophy of how to become a man as put forward on this site. Rationally, I have an understanding that thinking about girls 24/7 is unhealthy, and that a woman should come after your mission in life. And yet I continue to desire women the entire time. Unless I am absorbed in work (which doesn't happen very often; I find it unedifying), rarely does half an hour go by without me picturing a girl I know naked in my bed. I've recently given up porn and went without masturbation for 3 weeks before giving in (without the porn element)- the physical urge to get off was too strong.

I've had sex with 7 different girls in my life, all in the last year, the last time being almost 2 months ago. Much as it pains me to admit it, I'm consumed by the fact that my life is better with pu$$y than without, even if those orgasmic moments of happiness are fleeting. I'm trying to be proactive: going to parties, finding excuses to "hang out" with girls one on one later at night. I've had a couple of make outs, but nothing more.

I don't necessarily want a relationship. I don't really care if the girl's in a relationship or not. I don't really care if I never see her again after the event. But I do know this: my life is boring without something sexual going on in it. To say otherwise would be a lie. If that makes me an AFC.... so be it.

Help me get some perspective.


OnTheWayUp

 

[perseverance]

Many men feel the same way as you do, it's not that much of a problem as it's not stopping you from getting scholarships from Universities and you seem to be successful in other fields i.e. playing a musical instrument.

I'm guessing because you are young and have a high testosterone level that this is leading to you wanting sex on a regular basis. I am a year older than you, have slept with 3 women and I haven't had sex since January and I hardly think about women these days, I am far too busy trying to get into my nations Armed Forces. So, if you have any spare testosterone, send it over here.

I don't think you've got any problems and I am pretty sure you can pick up girls on nights out etc. You're at University after all, it can't be that difficult to get laid surely?

 

[AlexDP]

I don't play sport as much as I probably should, but where I have done, I've found success- I was soccer captain last year.
OnTheWayUp

This part is bull****. Any half decent soccer player in the lower leagues in England gets paid. Unless you're really bottom of the barrel. This isn't to say that you're bad, just that you haven't exactly found "succes". As for your other achievements.. You've done a lot with your life, you say rationally. Then how come you don't feel that way?

 

[OnTheWayUp]

This part is bull****. Any half decent soccer player in the lower leagues in England gets paid. Unless you're really bottom of the barrel. This isn't to say that you're bad, just that you haven't exactly found "succes". As for your other achievements.. You've done a lot with your life, you say rationally. Then how come you don't feel that way?

I play for a uni team where I was elected captain not so much on my playing ability, which is average, as on my organisational and motivational skills. I receive no money for this at all, as we play against other amateur teams at my university rather than in a semi-professional league.

Your last question sums up the reasoning behind this post. It frustrates me that I don't feel that way.... but I'm an honest guy and I have to be frank with myself.

 

[AlexDP]

I play for a uni team where I was elected captain not so much on my playing ability, which is average, as on my organisational and motivational skills. I receive no money for this at all, as we play against other amateur teams at my university rather than in a semi-professional league.

Your last question sums up the reasoning behind this post. It frustrates me that I don't feel that way.... but I'm an honest guy and I have to be frank with myself.

It's because deep down there's a part of you that think you're a loser. No matter what you achieve, you have self esteem issues. Find out where they come from and become a happier person. However: don't stop achieving things in the process and don't overanalyze.