OnTheWayUp
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2010
- Messages
- 321
- Reaction score
- 9
Gentlemen, I need some tough love. What I'm about to write is going to be very AFC, but it's how I feel, and I need you to kick me out of it.
Anyone looking at me would think that I am very confident, and that I have phenomenal grounds for being so. I go to one of the top universities in England, where I have received two different scholarships in the last four years, and was nominated today for a third one. I speak 3 languages fluently, and am learning 2 more. I have played guitar in bands since the age of 9 (I'm now 21), and I still play in 2 bands today. I don't play sport as much as I probably should, but where I have done, I've found success- I was soccer captain last year. I have a fair few friends, and was recently voted party organiser by a society I'm involved with.
Sounds good? I agree. But I'm not fulfilled by it. I've been academically and musically successful my entire life, and whilst I draw some degree of self-esteem from it, lately I've developed a "goes without saying attitude" to these achievements. I'm so used to receiving praise in these areas that I barely notice it anymore. My social and sporting success has come to me later in life, and as such feels more valuable in a sense.
So what more do I want? I know this is going to sound AFC, but I am obsessed with girls. I'm past the oneitis stage (been there, done that), and I understand the theory of pick up plus the philosophy of how to become a man as put forward on this site. Rationally, I have an understanding that thinking about girls 24/7 is unhealthy, and that a woman should come after your mission in life. And yet I continue to desire women the entire time. Unless I am absorbed in work (which doesn't happen very often; I find it unedifying), rarely does half an hour go by without me picturing a girl I know naked in my bed. I've recently given up porn and went without masturbation for 3 weeks before giving in (without the porn element)- the physical urge to get off was too strong.
I've had sex with 7 different girls in my life, all in the last year, the last time being almost 2 months ago. Much as it pains me to admit it, I'm consumed by the fact that my life is better with pu$$y than without, even if those orgasmic moments of happiness are fleeting. I'm trying to be proactive: going to parties, finding excuses to "hang out" with girls one on one later at night. I've had a couple of make outs, but nothing more.
I don't necessarily want a relationship. I don't really care if the girl's in a relationship or not. I don't really care if I never see her again after the event. But I do know this: my life is boring without something sexual going on in it. To say otherwise would be a lie. If that makes me an AFC.... so be it.
Help me get some perspective.
OnTheWayUp
Anyone looking at me would think that I am very confident, and that I have phenomenal grounds for being so. I go to one of the top universities in England, where I have received two different scholarships in the last four years, and was nominated today for a third one. I speak 3 languages fluently, and am learning 2 more. I have played guitar in bands since the age of 9 (I'm now 21), and I still play in 2 bands today. I don't play sport as much as I probably should, but where I have done, I've found success- I was soccer captain last year. I have a fair few friends, and was recently voted party organiser by a society I'm involved with.
Sounds good? I agree. But I'm not fulfilled by it. I've been academically and musically successful my entire life, and whilst I draw some degree of self-esteem from it, lately I've developed a "goes without saying attitude" to these achievements. I'm so used to receiving praise in these areas that I barely notice it anymore. My social and sporting success has come to me later in life, and as such feels more valuable in a sense.
So what more do I want? I know this is going to sound AFC, but I am obsessed with girls. I'm past the oneitis stage (been there, done that), and I understand the theory of pick up plus the philosophy of how to become a man as put forward on this site. Rationally, I have an understanding that thinking about girls 24/7 is unhealthy, and that a woman should come after your mission in life. And yet I continue to desire women the entire time. Unless I am absorbed in work (which doesn't happen very often; I find it unedifying), rarely does half an hour go by without me picturing a girl I know naked in my bed. I've recently given up porn and went without masturbation for 3 weeks before giving in (without the porn element)- the physical urge to get off was too strong.
I've had sex with 7 different girls in my life, all in the last year, the last time being almost 2 months ago. Much as it pains me to admit it, I'm consumed by the fact that my life is better with pu$$y than without, even if those orgasmic moments of happiness are fleeting. I'm trying to be proactive: going to parties, finding excuses to "hang out" with girls one on one later at night. I've had a couple of make outs, but nothing more.
I don't necessarily want a relationship. I don't really care if the girl's in a relationship or not. I don't really care if I never see her again after the event. But I do know this: my life is boring without something sexual going on in it. To say otherwise would be a lie. If that makes me an AFC.... so be it.
Help me get some perspective.
OnTheWayUp