She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
This is probably what she's thinking. If you don't want the "mangina" treatment you may want to consider walking. Now.5. A single mom who has nothing going for her except her kid who would just love a free ride and someone to take care of her mistakes.
Just one question: How desperate are you???
Ironic that you said that. I woke up this morning to a text she sent at 1am last night. "Are you still awake?".Not NC but NvC (Never Contact)
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
DO NOT RESPOND AND DONT GIVE ANY EXPLANATION IF SHE ASKS YOU WHY.Ironic that you said that. I woke up this morning to a text she sent at 1am last night. "Are you still awake?".
No I wasn't lol.
She must have seen me in the town we both own businesses at Friday night and she texted me around 9pm-Her hamster was spinning! She was worrying/imagining that you might be with/fvcking another woman. She wanted you to reply to alleviate her worry and/or to create friction between you and any woman you happen to be with at the time.
If the woman you were with, were to see it, she very likely would have become quite irritated and even asked why is another woman texting you at 1 AM, while you are with/fvcking me? Who is she? Women obviously know how how to mess with other women. But of course it was just 'an innocent text'---not.
This woman doesn't want to be forgotten. Whether she is willing to be with you or not, she doesn't like the idea of you being with other women. Stay NC!
Her hamster will continue to spin wondering about it! She'll be blowing up your phone. No explanations about what you were up to at 1 AM or why you didn't reply. NC!
Are you talking about no contact or not initiating contact? I am assuming you are responding back just enough to keep her chasing?Told you to go NC but you chose to still engange her.
You should have gone NC THE MOMENT you broke up.
Read my thread. I brought her back.
I ****ed her, now she chases me. Today i got 10 texts from her, i initiated none.
SHE chases me now.
BUT I WENT NC AFTER THE BREAKUP IMMEDIATELY.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
@Glassguy--The moment you re-engaged you think/say you were acting indifferent, but your words don't fool anyone. You were chasing, every step of the way. You buried yourself. To me, you acted like a man with no life and no self respect.
You paraded yourself and your apparent desperation, to her, her mom, her cousin, your friend and for all there to see. You chased her and sought her attention, in this case, just by responding and then actually showing up. She took in your attention from afar, but it didn't really mean much to her anymore because any value you had in her eyes, you completely trashed with your pandering behavior. You demeaned yourself massively, for her. I suspect you don't even see it.
At this point, to her, you offer her nothing more than to satisfy her curiosity, to see how wiling you are to respond to her, when she has a whim, while you gain nothing. If she's ever desperate she may reach out for a quick lay or a quick ego boost. All that would simply satisfy her and has nothing to do with who you are really. To be clear, you demeaned yourself to the degree that your attention isn't really even an ego hit to her any more, it's mere curiosity
I know this all sounds harsh. It's actually the toned down version.
I cannot encourage you enough to walk away from this woman and to focus on you and your sense of self-respect. Learn what it is to be centered and stay centered around women. Take your interactions with this woman as a wake-up call, a big-one. If you don't, you will likely find yourself on the other side of a ltr relationship having been treated absolutely horribly, wondering how/why the heck that happened.
You just demeaned yourself massively, for this woman. No woman or pvssy is ever worth demeaning yourself for. Never be willing to trade your self-respect for the attention of a woman.
It MIGHT BE salvage-able.....might.....it MIGHT BE,but the OP clearly doesn't have the strength or knowledge of what to do to turn it around. Also,he's made ADDITIONAL mistakes since starting this thread.I mean NOT RESPONDING at all, till she blows up your phone or something.
You are too easy, she knows you re there.
I disagree with the woman above, IT IS salvageable but you need to disappear.
Ok,umm.....Well I'm curious.....You got some terrible advice in this thread, the inly thing you should have done was to dissapear asap.
No talks, no nothing.
NEVER LISTEN TO WOMEN ABOUT WOMEN AGAIN.
Completely dissapear and not respond to anything she initiates.It MIGHT BE salvage-able.....might.....it MIGHT BE,but the OP clearly doesn't have the strength or knowledge of what to do to turn it around. Also,he's made ADDITIONAL mistakes since starting this thread.
It's like getting in a car,and you start driving...heading off to your destination. You drive 50 miles,then you suddenly realize you're headed in the wrong direction.....so you stop and turn around.
Ok.....you're headed in the right direction now....that's great....but guess what? You might be headed in the right direction,but that 50 miles STILL HAS TO BE MADE UP. You didn't start from zero when turned around.......you have to go 50 miles JUST TO START at the beginning.....just TO START from zero.
That's what he did here,only......he's CONTINUING to go in the wrong direction....he hasn't stopped yet. He actually thinks he's been being indifferent with her.
That's the thing....yeah,anything is possible,but first he has to STOP. He can't get started in the right direction if he won't stop first. And even if he were to stop today.....he's been driving for so long in the wrong direction,it's likely not worth it....there's simply too much ground and distance to cover......and the chick's emotions aren't gonna just sit still and wait for him to get it all together.
Ok,umm.....Well I'm curious.....
At this point,what would you suggest he do to turn this fiasco around???
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.