"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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saw a CA girl the day after I number closed - did I handle it well?

duke007

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A couple of days ago, I found myself sitting near a pretty cute girl on the tram heading toward Uni.

I never looked directly at her eyes and didn't initiate any convo - the tram was really crowded, a fat stinky dude was leaning over me and still felt a little strange from an earlier nosebleed.

Luckily we got out at the same stop, a couple of stops before the main campus. She was clomping along beside me, so I said, "Those are some noisy shoes you've got there," and she laughed. So screw the 3 second rule.

We were talking and she acted fairly interested and comfortable, it turned out we study in the same building. I got the number.

Then yesterday I was walking into the building and she was standing against a pillar on the path to the lifts looking at her phone. She looked up and smiled, and it took me a split second to remember who it was!

I smiled back and continued walking quickly towards her, she looked down briefly then back again and smiled. By this time I was almost up to her, and without breaking stride, smiled and said, "How's it going?" and continued on to the lifts.

She must have thought I was going to stop and talk! (everyone uses the stairs in that building). By the way she looked a bit hotter, which pleased me.

What do you think? should I have stayed and talked?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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gav

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probably should have stayed and talked for a few secs or even if u were going to plan something, u should have said "hey, i was going to call u, but here u are, so u wanna get together sat nite? or sometin)

that would have been the dj thing i rekon, but revertheless, simple and sweet approach m8. I liked that.
 

duke007

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Yeah you're right, but it's only the day after, and I want her to wait a few days before I set a date.

Who knows, maybe if I see her again tomorrow, I'll ask her out!
 

Pimp-sicle

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Originally posted by gav
probably should have stayed and talked for a few secs or even if u were going to plan something, u should have said "hey, i was going to call u, but here u are, so u wanna get together sat nite? or sometin)

that would have been the dj thing i rekon, but revertheless, simple and sweet approach m8. I liked that.
I totally DISAGREE!! Don't say things like "I was going to call you but..." Don't even worry about whether you should've stayed and talked. Your doing fine, makes her think your a busy man. Call her up or if you know your going to see her soon, go up to her and arrange a get together.


Your doing fine.



PIMP
 

isotope

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you should have made conversation but i wouldnt have mentioned teh date/ number
unless she brings it up

she might assume you were in a hurry but personally if i were her i would find that a little cold.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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duke007

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heh

I called her up today and she said she better not see me for coffee because her boyfriend may not like it :)
 
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