???s about a Guy Playing Rough with Me

[DreamyChick]

Originally posted by BrotherAP
I think some good sex would be great for the both of ya

What do you mean?

Why doesnt he trust me enough not to make a big deal about me staying at his place then not telling me one way or the other what he wants me to do?

this is what pisses me off the most about him. He's made it clear we are friends and supposedly he's not attracted to me and everytime we are together I maintain those boundaries so what the hell is his freaking problem?

 

[Morphiex]

umm about the first guy who hit u and stuff , it ment that he wanted u to realise that he didnt think of u as the same way u did, didnt find u attractive and wanted u to change your attraction torwards him....
i have also done so with a girl, not this extreme altough, who kinda fell in love with me after beeing my friend for a long time , we are still friends and i hope she moved on... but anyways back to this guy up here ;

I think that he isent attracted to you and therefore didnt touch u up close when he was showing u how to play pool, said that didnt u have to go home and stuff like that.....
The reason he prolly doesnt trust u two to be alone or sleep over is cuz he kinda suspects that u have an interest in him more then a friend and he doesnt want that and thats when we men kinda get nervous and start doing childish ****.....

 

[al77]

Originally posted by DreamyChick
Is this some strange way to flirt with me or does he see me as a guy now? Please help me out here!

This is so simple...what does a guy wants from a girl? The answer is obvious. How would a guy show that? Sometimes it would look odd...
I mean what is not clear to you? Why the guy wants you? Or why his flirting is odd?

 

[DreamyChick]

Why his signals are always hot and cold I dont get it. I dont make any moves and yet neither does he bc hes told me that hes not into me yet he wants to test me all the damn time and play with me. My boundaries? I mean what is that? Why after all this time can he trust me not to jump his bones I mean its been 3 years and ive given up hope so why cant he just act like an adult or why does it seem hes confused in some ways.

 

[Morphiex]

Re: Re: ???s about a Guy Playing Rough with Me

Originally posted by al77
This is so simple...what does a guy wants from a girl? The answer is obvious. How would a guy show that? Sometimes it would look odd...
I mean what is not clear to you? Why the guy wants you? Or why his flirting is odd?

if ur talking about the first one then he wouldnt have invited his m8s to join them for the walk to the car
and if ur talking about that one on page 3 then he would have said something when she asked if he wanted her to leave, and wouldnt say dont you have to go home now and **** like that.....
They clearly arent interesated in her the same way she is to them....

 

[Morphiex]

Originally posted by DreamyChick
Why his signals are always hot and cold I dont get it. I dont make any moves and yet neither does he bc hes told me that hes not into me yet he wants to test me all the damn time and play with me. My boundaries? I mean what is that? Why after all this time can he trust me not to jump his bones I mean its been 3 years and ive given up hope so why cant he just act like an adult or why does it seem hes confused in some ways.

Thats cuz he kinda suspects that u like him in a more then a friend way and therefore act that way... comeone who would say maby u should stick that pole up ur... to a girl that he likes even if its a dare..... He wants u to be only friends and nothing more.....

 

[DreamyChick]

Just so you are clear this is the same guy.

 

[Morphiex]

then it is really clear that he isent attracted to you, and you should move on....

 

[isotope]

you should have just let him stick the pool cue up your ass

 

[DreamyChick]

LOL I should have told him okay you do it first. And played with him for a change.

 

[Mortukai]

Err, Morphiex, I don't know if you read what I read, but if you did, you're so wrong.

DreamyChick, don't play dumb. You know this guy likes you and you like him. But neither one of you is game enough to make the first move. I'm sure the sexual tension you guys had going that night could be cut with a knife. But you both stalemated yourselves by being too closed and not establishing your boundaries, or at least hinting that you'd go pretty damn far. For example, if, when he suggested you stick the pool cue up your ass, you instead suggested that you "know a better place to stick it", rather than simply blocking out that option, I'm positive the two of you would have been having wild monkey sex on the pool table instead of you sleeping on a futon in his room.

But seriously Morphiex, are you actually a guy? Cos it doesn't sound like you can recognise any patterns of behaviour.

 

[DreamyChick]

Damn the only reason I didnt go for it was bc of my pride. I just wanted to throw it out there to test him like he does me to see just how far he thinks I go. Instead he views me as innocent who will probably be taken advantage of some day.

But guys I should also note that I feel really safe with him. I felt safe all night just being there with him. His house is huge so he didn't even have to let me stay in his room. He couldve moved the futon into another room if he was that worried about me jumping him.

By the way mort why are his words saying one thing yet his actions saying another. He made comments about how I wanted him and when I was looking in a closet he said that I would enjoy being locked up in there too much??? If he knows how I am why does he play with my head especially if he enjoys our friendship?

 

[Morphiex]

Originally posted by Mortukai
Err, Morphiex, I don't know if you read what I read, but if you did, you're so wrong.

DreamyChick, don't play dumb. You know this guy likes you and you like him. But neither one of you is game enough to make the first move. I'm sure the sexual tension you guys had going that night could be cut with a knife. But you both stalemated yourselves by being too closed and not establishing your boundaries, or at least hinting that you'd go pretty damn far. For example, if, when he suggested you stick the pool cue up your ass, you instead suggested that you "know a better place to stick it", rather than simply blocking out that option, I'm positive the two of you would have been having wild monkey sex on the pool table instead of you sleeping on a futon in his room.

But seriously Morphiex, are you actually a guy? Cos it doesn't sound like you can recognise any patterns of behaviour.

hehe yeah im a guy... and ill admit i have a tendensy to miss some noticble acts of affection from girls who are into me but u have to agree that he wouldnt have told her to leave or said that thing about her mother if he was interested in her and he wouldnt have invited his m8s to join for the walk to her car if he was interested in her....

 

[DreamyChick]

He never told me to leave. He said he didnt want to kick me out when I encouraged him to do so. And he was also silent at a lot of moments He said he didnt think I would be comfortable bc he didnt have furniture.

 

[themanwithnoname]

Attention Wh ore!

 

[DreamyChick]

Ha whatever I barely post here. Only when I have something that is really on my mind.

 

[DJ_in_making]

......okay, who here thinks there should be a 'Girls only' section of sosuave??? :cheer:

 

[DreamyChick]

I do

 

[TACH]

I think Morts right on this one. It sounds like there was some serious sexual tension in the room. I'm guessing he enjoys your friendship as I'm sure you do and maybe he just doesn't want to break that bond by stepping things up a notch. I'm guessing you certainly wouldn't mind but I think that you two have been at this game of keeping your wants hidden for so long you both think that there's nothing there... maybe.

I could be wrong but it sounds like he isn't willing to take the risk of moving things along with you, but something tells me he would like to. Perhaps he's comfortable with where things are with you, and is playing it very safely to see exactly where you stand with him?

 

[Mortukai]

but u have to agree that he wouldnt have told her to leave or said that thing about her mother if he was interested in her and he wouldnt have invited his m8s to join for the walk to her car if he was interested in her....

and...

By the way mort why are his words saying one thing yet his actions saying another. He made comments about how I wanted him and when I was looking in a closet he said that I would enjoy being locked up in there too much??? If he knows how I am why does he play with my head especially if he enjoys our friendship?

One thing that isn't talked about anywhere near enough on this board is the concept of pushing and pulling, and sending mixed signals. Most people are focused on creating attraction in the first place, but once you've got attraction, you "fan the flames" by sending mixed signals. Girls call this "acting hot and cold", or "getting distant and then intimate suddenly". It's the same thing: the guy driving the girl crazy by being difficult to read. The effect is obvious when you see it in action. DreamyChick is doing us all a favour by showing us the effect with her own example: when a guy sends mixed signals and "fvcks with her head", she can't get him out of her head and keeps thinking about him, constantly building up hope and fear, and creating a huge amount of internal tension. "What if he likes me?" "What if he doesn't?" "But what if he DOES!?" "HE'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!". And every moment she spends thinking of him, her attraction for him grows, and the more she re-runs the situation differently: "What if I did this instead of that?", playing out scenarios that add more and more tension, leading closer and closer to sex. So her imagination basically spirals out of control, adding fictional sexual tension on top of the real sexual tension, ensuring that the next time they get together, there's gauranteed to be some sexual undercurrent.

I think a lot of guys here want quick fixes. But if you want really powerful attraction, and you want it to last, you really need to take your time to play with her. You need to fvck her mind before you fvck her body, and you need to treat her mind like her body. In other words, you need to give her mind "foreplay". Good physical foreplay teases a girl, hinting that she'll be getting what she wants, but then hitning that maybe she won't. You can drive her crazy with lust for you so bad that she wrestles you for control of your d!ck. You gotta do that to her mind as well, by hinting that you want her, then hinting that you don't, or even do both at the same time through different modalities (like saying one thing but doing another, like saying "I'm not sure we should be doing this", while pulling her close to you).

So DreamyChick, in answer to your question, "Why does he play with your head especially if he values your friendship?", the answer is simple: he wants to fvck you. His method is simply to increase your attraction for him by doing the whole "hot and cold" thing so that you are thinking of him even when he isn't around. He was playing with you, and you loved it. Guys, learn from this if you're serious about getting a girl really attracted to you.

And DreamyChick, you can learn from this too: swallow your pride (or more accurately, your fear of being thought of as a slvt), and play along with him. Don't try to take control of the game and turn things back on him. Let him chase, and you can run, laughing and giggling until he tackles you and ravages you.