"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Romance = Weakness?

Joined
Apr 13, 2008
Messages
137
Reaction score
5
Is romance weakness in the DJ paradigm?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

I.A.F.Y.B.

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 18, 2007
Messages
2,051
Reaction score
21
Location
USA
Depends how you define romance and the situation.
 

KontrollerX

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 11, 2005
Messages
4,476
Reaction score
182
If you get into a relationship with a chick that is also looking to be in a relationship and she seems to genuinely like and want romantic type of things you reward her with this when she does good things for you but pull away when she does things that you don't like.

You never under pain of death however try romance or any of that sh!t with your typical late teens, early to mid twenties party slvt hookup buddies though.

Those chicks are there to relieve yourself with and to pump em and dump em and really thats all that they want and what makes them hot for you anyway.

Where guys that come here get into trouble is when they become dependent on one of these party slvts and try to turn a h0 into a housewife.

That is just not happening.

So if you are looking for a serious relationship where you can be romantic you have to filter out chicks that are not looking for romance and basically just want a guy to treat them like trash ie pull their hair and smack their ass while having sex and not call them for a month afterwards if ever again.

You can find what a chick's relationship goals are and what kind of person she is and how she will treat you by what she says to you in the beginning of the relationship about how she treated, interacted with and views men in general.

In anycase to more directly answer your question I don't think romance is a weakness for DJ's. In fact I think it is the most non and anti DJ thing that a guy can do unless of course you are simply using it as a tool to get laid and haven't invested any genuine emotion behind it. As in my opinion a DJ is about getting laid as often as possible with zero committment. To me a guy who doesn't view life this way is not a DJ.

Doesn't mean he's an AFC either but I think being a DJ is all about getting laid and nothing else and if thats not what you are all about if you want to go the committed relationship route you are just not a DJ.

You can benefit and learn from DJ teachings to be successful and even have successful relationships but in my mind thats not what this site was ever supposed to be about though many great posters myself included (in the past) have over complicated the DJ term including self improvement and things like relationships under its meaning.
 

Quiksilver

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 30, 2006
Messages
2,813
Reaction score
55
Romance is neither here nor there when discussing strength/weakness.

People who are unhappy with themselves, who are desperate and are 'AFCs' can be romantic. Weakness.

People who are happy and successful with women can also be romantic. Strength.

When discussing this topic, the journey towards romance and how you arrive at it matter most.
 

Yahooey

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 26, 2008
Messages
83
Reaction score
0
Location
Elysium
Quiksilver said:
Romance is neither here nor there when discussing strength/weakness.

People who are unhappy with themselves, who are desperate and are 'AFCs' can be romantic. Weakness.

People who are happy and successful with women can also be romantic. Strength.

When discussing this topic, the journey towards romance and how you arrive at it matter most.
Well said.

Romantic gestures are done by stalkers, AFCs and DJs. It's who you are and how you do it.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Top