romance down the pub

[Jez]

Hi everyone.

I just wanted to get some people's thoughts and opinions
on this situation. Please don't say to me just move on and you
have onitus, because I already can see this for myself. The other
thing is that it is my local pub and I like going there.

There is a girl who works in a bar, she has a boyfriend.
He is 37 she is 23 years old. He has two kids from a previous
relationship. The thing is I feel drawn to her.

She is friendly towards me and touches my shoulder from time to
time also on occasion she shares a cigarrette with me. I sense she
likes me. The problem is that I feel like I need to touch her but I never do as I respect her boyfriend who is a decent guy. So on the one hand you have a girl who I like and she seems to like me, she flirts with me. I felt stupid the other night I was in the pub
chatting to a friend and eating some crisps and she just helped herself to them in front of her boyfriend, he then did the same.
I feel maybe I'm a walk over or she is letting her boyfriend know that she is desired by others. On one occassion I was in bar feeling down and standing at the bar watching the football and she stood next to me just looking at her finger nails, it was like
she was sharing time and space with me. She is shy also

What would you do under this situation. He will never marry her I have heard him tell other drinkers.

The question is how would you handle this situation, I think I will
just be friendly and keep a bit of distance from her and see how she reacts. Damm frustrating though.

Is there anyone from the UK been in this situation?. I must be lonely maybe thats what it is.

 

[Cbaoth]

Check out the DJ Bible..

 

[Austin Allegro]

Jez, welcome. Good to hear from other UK DJs

I think you’ve solved the problem yourself in the last line of your post.

'I think I will
just be friendly and keep a bit of distance from her and see how she reacts.'

You have hit the nail on the head because as you say, you are starting to develop oneitis. Remember these two golden rules for happy DJing.

Don't bother with women who have boyfriends and

DON'T GET INVOLVED WITH BARMAIDS!!!

Seriously, there is NOTHING sadder than thinking you have a chance with a barmaid - this was wisdom passed down to me when I first started drinking in pubs at 18. If you are an attractive woman in a roomful of drunks, what is going to happen - every bloke will try it on. They have seen and heard all the chat up attempts before, even from DJs, and have the biggest ***** shields known to man.

So just be friendly and keep your distance and go to other pubs!

 

[Skweints]

I agree with Allegro. Definitely keep your distance and start going to other pubs. I've noticed when it comes to women who work in places such as bars, the best way to get their attention is to simply not pay any attention to them while they are on the clock. What works even better is spending the night there, NOT drinking, and showing that you can still have a good time, all while completely ignoring them. This will only work if you've built up a tad bit of rapport with the female (which seems to be your case.) However, I'm over here in Okinawa, and women over here work a bit differently. Just a suggestion though.

I wouldn't say that there's nothing SADDER than trying to hook up with a barmaid. However, developing one-itis is a little different. It could be worse though, you could be developing oneitis with a stripper. At least you caught yourself early enough to realize what you need to do.