Returning stuff to ex

[Macadellic]

The following is what has worked for me best, out of other methods, in the past.

I contact the ex and ask
“Do you want your belongings dropped off at your place or at your friends place?”

Then I set a date and time for when her belongings will be dropped off.

Or I contact one of her friends and ask
“Does ex want her belongings dropped off at her place or at your place?”

Then I set a date and time for when her belongings will be dropped off.

In both cases whether I return her belongings at her place or a friends place she was either there or she wasn’t. And the times the ex was there I was polite and if she wanted to talk we did for the last time.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Im currently during NC and my ex-gf messaged me to return her stuff
Some clothes, cosmetics...no big deal
before that she tried to call me several times but I didnt picked up, I want to heal...
dont want to see her
how to handle that situation as best as possible.
I thought I just do it via mail, opinions?

Don't complicate or overthink the situation. You don't want to see her or have contact, that's the right approach. No need to be a d**k and destroy/throw away her things, you will come across as salty and immature.

Leave her stuff at your door for her to pick up (ideally at a time when you know you won't be there to avoid contact). Or leave it at her place late a night or when you know she won't be there. It might sting a little but that's life man. Be patient and kind to yourself.

Once that happens there is absolutely no reason to contact again, delete the number, unfollow, etc, etc, and focus on your next steps as an individual.


Modern Man Advice

 

[anunimuus magi]

You must be hurting, just don't look back.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Man up, guy. She's only a girl, not a t-rex. Put her things in a box, drive to her place, and hand it off to her. The confidence you exhibit in doing this will help you heal.

Be the lion, not the church mouse.

Good luck.

I agree with this. My ex left some stuff with me and when she came to pick it up with the new guy I took her the stuff, ignored the guys attempts at small talk and quickly ended the interaction despite her trying to have a convo with me. One last display of indifference can’t hurt

 

[RickPound]

Do what you want with masculine intention.

“Hey ex, I’m cleaning up my place on Saturday and will drop your things off at such and such a time” because you’re doing what you want when it works for you. You want them out of your way.

Or

“Hey ex, I’m cleaning up my place and then I’ll be gone for the weekend so I’ll leave your stuff outside so you can grab it”

Be respectful of her things, no spiteful drama by burning it or leaving it in the rain etc. You’re moving on like a man. If she’s gonna try any manipulation with her stuff as the tool she’ll have to be more overt now and show her hand and you act accordingly.

Then no contact ….

Or if she’s like “Hey ex, I wanted you to be there when I get my stuff so I can bang you one more time” = bang her one more time, show her the door….

Then no contact

 

[Lion1985]

thanks guys, some very good advices, some funny and not to be taking seriously
I just packed evrything into a box and will send it via mail, really dont want to interact with her because I need to heal

 

[SW15]

thanks guys, some very good advices, some funny and not to be taking seriously
I just packed evrything into a box and will send it via mail, really dont want to interact with her because I need to heal

You made the correct decision.

 

[Macadellic]

OP,
If you don’t want to interact with your ex then mailing her belongings is satisfactory.

However if you want to walk away feeling good about yourself then you break up with her in person and return her belongings in person.

And I’m nobodies doormat so if she begins to be disrespectful in the process I know where the door is at and I know how to use it. But not before I look deep into her eyes and say,

“I filled you with my strength and spilled myself on your face, repeatedly for x amount of time so who the fvck is the real winner?”


you let her see your smile for the last time and walk out on her

 

[RangerMIke]

Set up a time when you can drop these things off. Be polite and just bring it to her. Have her go through it and confirm everything is there and you are done. Even better have all her stuff packed up and set by the door for her to get them, don't let her in, or if you are dropping off don't go in her place. Face to face is awkward, but just do it and get it over with quick. If you just can not face her, then @Black Widow Void suggesting of mailing the stuff works.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Op you did the right thing. DO NOT SEE HER IN PERSON. This girl can talk you in to sex and next thing you know she’s pregnant and there goes 18 years of your life

 

[Mrak]

ugh, broke up recently too, but need to get stuff from ex. Fvuck.

 

[derby1]

anything you do to move of your sofa, is being submissive. it confirms your still the ultra nice guy,

Now if you were Alpha and dumped her thats different.

i also agree with the make up sex, then she ghosts, Ive had it baited on me many times.

old validation trap to check you still fancy them.....She will even share your favourite songs on SM etc etc, bring up memories , make you think they miss you....

 

[derby1]

The alpha budda fcks her sister in her bed.

I, actually did that the once, and they were both fine with it. Back in my naive days, dont know how I pulled that one off

I used to do some right Alpha stuff, but Mr Betasville romance would pop out a lot of times aswell

 

[SW15]

This girl can talk you in to sex and next thing you know she’s pregnant and there goes 18 years of your life

It's a minimum of 18 years. When a child turns 18, it's not like parenting stops. You might have to help put them through college. Also, in the last 2 decades, plenty of 18-30 year old have had extended stints living at home with a parent or parents. There are plenty of parents of 25 year olds out there who are not happy that they've had an adult child living at home.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

It's a minimum of 18 years. When a child turns 18, it's not like parenting stops. You might have to help put them through college. Also, in the last 2 decades, plenty of 18-30 year old have had extended stints living at home with a parent or parents. There are plenty of parents of 25 year olds out there who are not happy that they've had an adult child living at home.

Absolutely!!!

 

[Willie Naylor]

Absolutely!!!

You and your buddy sure do dislike living life.

So much negativity.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

You and your buddy sure do dislike living life.

So much negativity.

Didn’t know living life was being chained to a toxic ex for the rest of your life

 

[Willie Naylor]

Didn’t know living life was being chained to a toxic ex for the rest of your life

Dude, he's gonna spend 20 minutes returning some stuff to her.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Dude, he's gonna spend 20 minutes returning some stuff to her.

Then she’s going to be like you want to come in and talk, I have some things for you. Then she’s going to start crying and showing her tits to op. Then they are going to have sex all over the house and op gonna be like bye ex gf. Then six weeks later, she’s going to tell op she’s preggo!!

 

[SW15]

Then she’s going to be like you want to come in and talk, I have some things for you. Then she’s going to start crying and showing her tits to op. Then they are going to have sex all over the house and op gonna be like bye ex gf. Then six weeks later, she’s going to tell op she’s preggo!!

I have seen stories similar to this happen. Some guys will compound the problem by playing house with her. Depending on how long that lasts, a 2nd kid might happen. They end up divorced and then there's co-parenting. She might be miserable to deal with as a co-parent for the rest of your lives. That's not even mentioning the child support and possible alimony.

Way better to mail the stuff and not chance it. @Lion1985 already made the choice to use the mail system.