Hi, I am new here. I have a long story I will try to keep short.
Met an girl who is a student at the research institute where I work. I approached her as we were walking to work and then later talked to her for a couple of hours at a party. She was easy to talk to and there seemed to be very good chemistry. I thought I "displayed higher value". I'm a little older, more experienced, know a lot about subjects she's interested in. There was some eye contact during lulls in the conversation and it seemed possible she was interested.
So I decided to make a move. We got coffee, talked for a while again, and I asked her if she'd like to go to a Christmas market (I'm in Europe) with me on the weekend. She was unsure about it because a friend doing tourism was visiting and said she'd send me an e-mail. I figured this was effectively a no and indeed I didn't hear from her that weekend. However, she did send a mail on the Monday and apologized. Decided to give it one more chance before I left town for the holidays.
The next week I asked her to get dinner, she said yes and to send her an e-mail. I proposed a Saturday night. It got to be Saturday afternoon and there was no response. Suspected a flake, so I decided to send a quick message. If the response was weak I'd just make an excuse myself. She claimed to have just got the messages, said it sounded good. I met her and the dinner was very nice. Talked for 3 hours. She had been in a 3-yr masters program previously and didn't like the people there. Not much of a social circle apparently. She insisted on paying her half since she doesn't go out much.
At the end she hung around and waited with me 10 minutes for the tram to arrive. I just touched her arm, thanked her, and we departed. Figured I should go slow. The next day before I left, I sent a text "hope you had a good time, see you in jan". No response, but I didn't think there was a problem and it didn't bother me. After 3 weeks I decided to send her an e-mail "happy new year, how's it going" type of thing, just to maintain a little contact. No response. Uh oh. After I got back from the US a week or so later I saw her around the first day, but didn't approach. The next day, I dropped by her office. She asked about my trip, we chatted a little. I asked if she wanted to get a coffee later, but she said she was busy and would come by my office later "if things cleared out"- i.e. "no".
I'm a bit confused about what happened because it's not quite the standard dating situation. Maybe she realized I was interested in her as a girlfriend and she freaked? Was I too "needy"? I suppose I should just basically maintain minimal contact, move on, and let her re-connect if she wants?
Met an girl who is a student at the research institute where I work. I approached her as we were walking to work and then later talked to her for a couple of hours at a party. She was easy to talk to and there seemed to be very good chemistry. I thought I "displayed higher value". I'm a little older, more experienced, know a lot about subjects she's interested in. There was some eye contact during lulls in the conversation and it seemed possible she was interested.
So I decided to make a move. We got coffee, talked for a while again, and I asked her if she'd like to go to a Christmas market (I'm in Europe) with me on the weekend. She was unsure about it because a friend doing tourism was visiting and said she'd send me an e-mail. I figured this was effectively a no and indeed I didn't hear from her that weekend. However, she did send a mail on the Monday and apologized. Decided to give it one more chance before I left town for the holidays.
The next week I asked her to get dinner, she said yes and to send her an e-mail. I proposed a Saturday night. It got to be Saturday afternoon and there was no response. Suspected a flake, so I decided to send a quick message. If the response was weak I'd just make an excuse myself. She claimed to have just got the messages, said it sounded good. I met her and the dinner was very nice. Talked for 3 hours. She had been in a 3-yr masters program previously and didn't like the people there. Not much of a social circle apparently. She insisted on paying her half since she doesn't go out much.
At the end she hung around and waited with me 10 minutes for the tram to arrive. I just touched her arm, thanked her, and we departed. Figured I should go slow. The next day before I left, I sent a text "hope you had a good time, see you in jan". No response, but I didn't think there was a problem and it didn't bother me. After 3 weeks I decided to send her an e-mail "happy new year, how's it going" type of thing, just to maintain a little contact. No response. Uh oh. After I got back from the US a week or so later I saw her around the first day, but didn't approach. The next day, I dropped by her office. She asked about my trip, we chatted a little. I asked if she wanted to get a coffee later, but she said she was busy and would come by my office later "if things cleared out"- i.e. "no".
I'm a bit confused about what happened because it's not quite the standard dating situation. Maybe she realized I was interested in her as a girlfriend and she freaked? Was I too "needy"? I suppose I should just basically maintain minimal contact, move on, and let her re-connect if she wants?
