Requesting advice on my two main issues.

[Maxfarsigth]

Hello mates. To sum up my journal, I am going to state the two main problems I am facing right now. I am also going to comment on them.
Plus, I would appreciate it if you guys can contribute with experiences, tips and general thoughts.

Problem No. 1: General cold approaching.
- I find it hard to spot girls to approach. I know one should approach a girl who is just there standing, but I find it awkward to do so if she is: walking, talking to someone else, in a group with guys, on the phone, or seems busy.
- I also find it hard to gather up my words and actions to not make an approach look weird. Rather than specific fear, is sometimes a general negative state of mind.

I have nearly performed some cold approaches, and the reason for that is that I can't seem to find the right approaching scenario. Even though, that might not even exist.

Problem No 2: Social Proof.
- In my last LTR which lasted about 2 yeas, I did'nt meet new people (to understand why read my posts). It was such an AFC relationship.
- I have been living again in this city for 2 years, so I don't really keep old classmates or old friends. Those who are still there really don't care about me.
- In my work, my mates are all over 30 years old. Also I work with 95% men. I am a junior Operations Engineer. Plus, I work by shifts, and don't have free time on a weekly basis.
- Hence, I have no social circle neither friends.

I now might be a little desperate for friends and meeting girls. On top of that I have no hobby other than doing excercise (jogging, weight lifting) or "improving my DJ skills". Do those count? =)

Everything is welcome now!

 

[iliketennis]

go to church

 

[Gray The Prince]

go to church

No need to troll dude.


Well, what are some other things you are interested in as far as hobbies go?

 

[iliketennis]

i'm not trolling. if you need an easy way to make friends church is a good place to do it. it's just like joining any other club.

you can pretend to be interested in community service or birdwatching or cooking... or church.

 

[Maxfarsigth]

Well, I earnestly feel that a given activity to make friends should rather be something I actually like.
I'm not really into religion or church. Son I'll pas on that. Thanks for the advice though. And yes, I have definitely read/heard that community service and volunteering are not bad choices for meeting people of any sort (not just old or whatever).

I came up with surfing. I love the sea and watersports, and I have practiced many except surfing. I enrolled in a course starting next month. So cool!

The problem is that I should find something (in my city) and also something more consistent than 3-4 surf weekends.

Also I'd like to comment that before reading "To approach, what you need is: BALLS!", and stuff of that sort, I really agree with that. It's just that I cant seem to find the way to start approaching consistently...