"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Request for date change

the_m@n

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I had my first date with this girl last weekend and it could not have gone better. I picked her up and we were on our way. There was a lot of flirting, plenty of kino, hand holding and making out. The date ended with a good night kiss and I was off. I called her 3 days later to set up te second date and she agreed almost instantly telling me she couldn't wait to see me again.

Our second date was scheduled for tonight. I had arranged to pick her up take her to dinner and then watch a movie. She called me this afternoon and told me that her boss was keeping her very late at work and that her mother really needed her help so she didn't think she would be able to meet tonight. She immediately followed suggesting that we meet tomorrow night instead following the same plans.

Was I wrong in agreeing to meeting tomorrow? I assume some would suggest that something better came along and she just simply blew me off. I would also assume that some would suggest that I never picked up the phone in the first place. Is this some kind of test or power grab or am I overlooking this? Is it at all possible that she was simply telling the truth?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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scorpio1138

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she immediately made a counter-offer.

she's interested.

do it.

it's when they don't make a counter offer that you stop contacting them and make them contact you.
 

logic1

Senior Don Juan
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No big deal, go with it.

Use tonight to line up some more options.
 

jophil28

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the_m@n said:
Is it at all possible that she was simply telling the truth?
Simple answer- what evidence do you have that she is not ?

The situation that you describe is common in the early stages of getting to know a new woman.. Just go with her change of plans -after all she may be genuine and a great girl. Her actions would not raise an alarm with me.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

the_m@n

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jophil28 said:
Simple answer- what evidence do you have that she is not ?

The situation that you describe is common in the early stages of getting to know a new woman.. Just go with her change of plans -after all she may be genuine and a great girl. Her actions would not raise an alarm with me.

I think I may be going crazy. I didn't used to think like this. I honestly can't tell you why I would even think she has a reason to lie other than paranoia. Now I feel like I'm in some sort of game and everyone is playing. After reading all the stuff on this site and in the DJ Bible I get the impression that dating is some game of wits and every time I talk to a woman or take her out I am tested on how well I do at it. My problem is I don't ever want to revert back to my old ways.
 

jophil28

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the_m@n said:
I think I may be going crazy. I didn't used to think like this. I honestly can't tell you why I would even think she has a reason to lie other than paranoia. Now I feel like I'm in some sort of game and everyone is playing. After reading all the stuff on this site and in the DJ Bible I get the impression that dating is some game of wits and every time I talk to a woman or take her out I am tested on how well I do at it. My problem is I don't ever want to revert back to my old ways.
Your pendulum has swung too far the other way.

If you read every action by a woman as some sinister "test" you will drive yourself nuts.
There is a fear driven obsession on this site about women "testing" men. It happens about 2% of the times claimed .
I read a lot of misinformed statements by men here who are so 'on alert' that they have lost their spontaneity and their willing to enjoy the 'flow'.

YOu do need to be aware of your surroundings and optimistically cautious about a new women BUT before you next her you need EVIDENCE.

You gut is unreliable in many ways -it will tell you that something is amiss but your BRAIN needs to investigate the fine detail.

If a woman is acting in a courteous way and shows enough interest in you to counteroffer then you are in a good place with her and she with you...so far.

There are no scorpoins under a rock in this relationship with this woman, in fact there is probably no rock.

Good luck.
 

tihash

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The only problem I see is your taking her to "dinner and a movie" before she has put out.
 

the_m@n

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tihash said:
The only problem I see is your taking her to "dinner and a movie" before she has put out.
Is this truely a problem?

I took her to the dinner and a movie and barely watched the movie.
 

DJ SO STEVE

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Never jump to conclusions unless you have facts on the table.

Go with the flow, have a good time then analyze how the dates are going. If a girl always changes plans on you, your gut will tell you that she may not be interested in you. Almost all the time your gut will be telling you the truth.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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