"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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relative hooking me up in a different state... tips?

glass half full

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A family member in good standing is steering me and her friend to meet and hopefully date, sincerely helping us both out.
She checks all the boxes for me, and lives two states away. My relative knows I want to move away from my present location, and understands.
I've never dated out of state before... anyone able to advise on this subject that has done this?

Any comments welcome, on your own experiences- good, not so good, bad, doesn't matter. Feel free to add basic stuff I may have forgotten from here.
I've been doing my thing in life, and ignoring women. But now I feel out of touch in male/female land.
We've talked some on social media and seems well, so far.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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mjb3617

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Long distance is not worth it. I'd advise against moving just for her as well.

While she may check a lot of your boxes and seem highly interested, eventually the long distance will wear the relationship down unless you do move. If you move to her, you always have the inevitability of the relationship not working out.

Not worth it, IMO.
 

2Rocky

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As a rule I don't recommend them but:
They do provide an opportunity to date publicly away from gossip and prying eyes (like when I was going through my divorce.)
There is definitely novelty each time you meet
Treat every date like it is the last one.
An LDR can work with a rotation back home or as a "girl in every port" situation if you travel.
Avoid LDR monogamy.

What worries me about your situation is you have local people invested in your "relationship" from the start. This is not helpful. they tend to meddle.

If you are going to visit this faroff woman, be sure she is sexually open enough to consummate on your first meeting. Set up logistics to ensure that even if it means getting a hotel room (and telling her you have one). Then build rapport through phone and facetime to accelerate the courting process...

I had a passionate LDR I met monthly for weekends as part of a rotation for a year and a half. It progressed to her staying with me for 60 days one summer, then 90 days the next summer then moving in with me 2 years ago. This is not typical. But for some reason it worked for us.
 

glass half full

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I messaged her last weekend, went okay, seemed to wonder if she'd hear from me again.. told her yes.
Liked a few of her posts, then she vanished off the radar. I went along, ignoring her. Will likely message her this afternoon... we'll see. Not counting on anything though. Think we all know how gamey, catty women are by now.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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glass half full

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Lots of very little contact, I played along... I'm just goofing off with it anyway 'cause I don't much care.

She messages me a couple days ago "I’m a weirdo I bet it seems. Actually not weird just a half a bubble off". And then tells me about all the headaches she constantly has, etc. Seems all women have constant headaches after about 40 Lol... I'm tempted to just pass her up. She's pretty, but that doesn't trump unpredictable (or, is it?...) You guys know what I mean, I think.

Opinions? I seem to run into this a lot with women, esp. online. Headaches, "I'm a weirdo, maybe a little off"... I feel like they are advising me to leave them alone. :)
 

BackInTheGame78

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Lots of very little contact, I played along... I'm just goofing off with it anyway 'cause I don't much care.

She messages me a couple days ago "I’m a weirdo I bet it seems. Actually not weird just a half a bubble off". And then tells me about all the headaches she constantly has, etc. Seems all women have constant headaches after about 40 Lol... I'm tempted to just pass her up. She's pretty, but that doesn't trump unpredictable (or, is it?...) You guys know what I mean, I think.

Opinions? I seem to run into this a lot with women, esp. online. Headaches, "I'm a weirdo, maybe a little off"... I feel like they are advising me to leave them alone. :)
Haha...those headaches will become very frequent and a great excuse as to why you never have sex with her.
 

mrskinnypantz

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Going to a new state seems fun , I’d do it .
Especially if you plan on finding work immediately , that way you can eject easily and quickly if things go wrong
 

glass half full

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Been a long time since I was here on the site. I'd forgotten what I last posted.
In case it might teach something by my experience, I'll update the results of the subject.

I talked to relative's sis about all this and proceeded to get an education I had not expected, but thankful. They saved me a lot of trouble, possibly a lot more.

Seems the one facilitating the hook-up is shady af, before getting introduced to her friend I was to do her a little favor....
sounded shady as he'll... I heard a lot I didn't know, and also found it ironic that she wouldn't introduce us, nor would my potential love interest meet up with me without following their set parameters!

I felt like these two were cooking up a scene similar to the one in Beavis and Butthead do America LOL...
So I ditched them out of my life. Relative was always talking to me online, never face to face, turns out she lives right here close to me.
It hurt a bit, but it was a good family lesson, to know who is and isn't worth dealing with.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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