"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Relationships cannot be made

Gubby

Master Don Juan
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I propose a new law of the universe:

Relationships can't be MADE, just found.

Why do I say this? Because any attempt to FORCE things has always gone wrong and only came out of insecurity or desperation. If a person doesn't like you, what the hell do you want to make them like you for? The fact that they dislike you is a perfect reason to dislike them in return.

On the flip side, you can FIND common ground with everyone. We're all human and have similar natures and similar desires. So perhaps it takes a bit of tuning in to reach the common ground, but there almost always is one. At the very least, you both like friendships, humour, beauty, excitement and sex, don't you? Few people don't :D

But you can't MAKE this common ground.


Discuss.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Arizona iced tea

Don Juan
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Gubby said:
If a person doesn't like you, what the hell do you want to make them like you for? The fact that they dislike you is a perfect reason to dislike them in return.
a true point, but what i have realized lately is the you can get 99% of people to like you in the first place if you are an easily likable guy. just something to think about. dont focus on why shes a *****, realize what you can do to make her not be a *****... dont get me wrong im not trying to say be who you arent, but dont be someone they wont like. maybe im crazy.
 

Gubby

Master Don Juan
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Arizona iced tea said:
maybe im crazy.
Everyone's crazy, so don't be so self-effacing! I'm probably half as successful with women than most guys here, I just speak confidently ;)

I do act differently with different people and I think that's ok. But I'm not changing myself - I'm letting out a facet of myself. I think we contain in ourselves a little of the qualities of every other person on earth. Naturally we'll have more to do with those who have more common ground with us. But we can relate with everyone. I think perhaps an "enlightened" or ideal personality could be friends with anyone almost without differentiation (these are peacetimes and there's no real need for conflict between strangers. If we fought over food or something then things might be different).
 
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