I'll keep this story to the bare facts, and yes, all true and accurate:
I have a good job in a large research setting. I'm 25. I'm the youngest in my department by reasonable gap - most are 30s and 40s - and somewhat circumstantially I work with mainly women. There are two attractive, smart, cool, single women in their early 30s who I have lunch with nearly every day. We became friends in relatively short order, and one of them - let's say Rachel - invites myself and the other over to her place some weeknight to hang out.
Ok.
Rachel is definitely pretty cute. At the time I also felt like she had some personality incongruencies that would keep me from being fully attracted to her. Anyway, we had been drinking wine, the other woman had left, and Rachel who was sorta tipsy made a lunge for my face to try and make out with me. I dodged her lips. I was pretty sober and I didn't want the first time we kissed to be when she was drunker than I was. She made a second attempt to make out with me while we were sitting next to one another. It took self discipline but I turned her down both times.
I knew I would eventually fvck her if ever we both got kinda drunk together. Of course, that happened. Then she wanted a fvckbuddy relationship, and I was more than happy to oblige her. We had a short talk about whether we each thought it would work out ok, and we agreed that we could keep it strictly sexual.
For a while we were about once a week, basically whenever I initiated. After a month or two of that not-so-frequent pace she called me out and told me that I needed to fvck her much more frequently, like 4 times a week or something. I was kinda flattered and tried to give her what she wanted.
After maybe four months of fvcking... I realized I had real feelings for this woman. She's attractive. Good in bed. Also very smart, very ambitious, and super funny. One obvious problem is that she's older. Not that I mind that she's older at all, in fact the last few women have all been, but she's definitely looking for a guy that she can marry and settle down with and have kids and all that stuff in the not-to-distant future. The last man she had been in a relationship with was ~40 and somebody that she had been envisioning marriage with. I am not close to marriage. That is non-negotiable.
Just as I'm planning to tell her that I have feelings for her - although, that she should not construe that as meaning that I want to BE WITH her - she preempts me by announcing that she "Loves" me, and that for that reason she thinks we should stop fvcking, since as long as we're doing it, she won't be able to move on with her life. Fair enough. I agree with her that considering her feelings that the sex should end.
We continue to have lunch virtually every day. We're good friends now, and I also continue to go over - alone - to her house in the evenings and drink wine with her in our pajamas SEVERAL nights a week usually. The sexual tension is incredibly thick. I know that on some level she loves me, and I definitely have feelings for her as well. We have been going on - sexless - like this for several months. Drinking wine while lounging at each other's homes late at night. Giving each other unusually long and unusually tight hugs goodnight.
I can rely on her to drunk text me at night if I'm not with her. One night I got out of the shower at about 1am to notice that I had four missed calls from her, each separated by about 2 minutes. This sort of behavior isn't something you get from a woman who is not very seriously into you.
So I don't know what to do.
I really like this woman. Do I see myself with her forever? No. Do I want to be with her for RIGHT NOW? Kind of, yea. We managed to fvck each other for a while, stop, and for things to still be totally cool and non-awkward. I think that now, if I were to make a move on her sometime when we were both drunk and hanging out with each other, the sex would have a lot more meaning then it did in the past. Her actions are kinda telling me that she wants this to happen...
**gaaahhh...**
I have a good job in a large research setting. I'm 25. I'm the youngest in my department by reasonable gap - most are 30s and 40s - and somewhat circumstantially I work with mainly women. There are two attractive, smart, cool, single women in their early 30s who I have lunch with nearly every day. We became friends in relatively short order, and one of them - let's say Rachel - invites myself and the other over to her place some weeknight to hang out.
Ok.
Rachel is definitely pretty cute. At the time I also felt like she had some personality incongruencies that would keep me from being fully attracted to her. Anyway, we had been drinking wine, the other woman had left, and Rachel who was sorta tipsy made a lunge for my face to try and make out with me. I dodged her lips. I was pretty sober and I didn't want the first time we kissed to be when she was drunker than I was. She made a second attempt to make out with me while we were sitting next to one another. It took self discipline but I turned her down both times.
I knew I would eventually fvck her if ever we both got kinda drunk together. Of course, that happened. Then she wanted a fvckbuddy relationship, and I was more than happy to oblige her. We had a short talk about whether we each thought it would work out ok, and we agreed that we could keep it strictly sexual.
For a while we were about once a week, basically whenever I initiated. After a month or two of that not-so-frequent pace she called me out and told me that I needed to fvck her much more frequently, like 4 times a week or something. I was kinda flattered and tried to give her what she wanted.
After maybe four months of fvcking... I realized I had real feelings for this woman. She's attractive. Good in bed. Also very smart, very ambitious, and super funny. One obvious problem is that she's older. Not that I mind that she's older at all, in fact the last few women have all been, but she's definitely looking for a guy that she can marry and settle down with and have kids and all that stuff in the not-to-distant future. The last man she had been in a relationship with was ~40 and somebody that she had been envisioning marriage with. I am not close to marriage. That is non-negotiable.
Just as I'm planning to tell her that I have feelings for her - although, that she should not construe that as meaning that I want to BE WITH her - she preempts me by announcing that she "Loves" me, and that for that reason she thinks we should stop fvcking, since as long as we're doing it, she won't be able to move on with her life. Fair enough. I agree with her that considering her feelings that the sex should end.
We continue to have lunch virtually every day. We're good friends now, and I also continue to go over - alone - to her house in the evenings and drink wine with her in our pajamas SEVERAL nights a week usually. The sexual tension is incredibly thick. I know that on some level she loves me, and I definitely have feelings for her as well. We have been going on - sexless - like this for several months. Drinking wine while lounging at each other's homes late at night. Giving each other unusually long and unusually tight hugs goodnight.
I can rely on her to drunk text me at night if I'm not with her. One night I got out of the shower at about 1am to notice that I had four missed calls from her, each separated by about 2 minutes. This sort of behavior isn't something you get from a woman who is not very seriously into you.
So I don't know what to do.
I really like this woman. Do I see myself with her forever? No. Do I want to be with her for RIGHT NOW? Kind of, yea. We managed to fvck each other for a while, stop, and for things to still be totally cool and non-awkward. I think that now, if I were to make a move on her sometime when we were both drunk and hanging out with each other, the sex would have a lot more meaning then it did in the past. Her actions are kinda telling me that she wants this to happen...
**gaaahhh...**
