"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Relationship Troubles

Jon55

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I've been in a good relationship for many months. But there's this new-ish girl in our group of friends who is just stunningly beautiful. She's single, closer to my age range, and we get along very well/have similar interests. I'm pretty sure she likes me too, but knows I'm in a relationship.

But again, Im already in a good relationship. There are a lot of people who like that we're in a relationship together too. And Im still happy in it, but I cant help but think about this other girl. I just dont want to make any stupid moves that Ill regret later somehow. Thoughts?


EDIT: Please don't think I have some shrine of this other girl or anything like that. Its more of a instinctive "new challenge" kinda thing I guess. Which sounds kind of stupid because I already have something so good, and now part of me wants to throw it away because of the new "challenge".
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Jon55

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Any input is welcome.
 

Igetit!

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Jon55 said:
I've been in a good relationship for many months. But there's this new-ish girl in our group of friends who is just stunningly beautiful. She's single, closer to my age range, and we get along very well/have similar interests. I'm pretty sure she likes me too, but knows I'm in a relationship.

But again, Im already in a good relationship. There are a lot of people who like that we're in a relationship together too. And Im still happy in it, but I cant help but think about this other girl. I just dont want to make any stupid moves that Ill regret later somehow. Thoughts?

The title of this thread is kind of misleading.


It's called "Relationship Troubles",but when you read it,you say you're happy in your relationship,and you say the relationship is good.



I think the title should be "Maturity Issues".


The thing you must understand is THERE WILL ALWAYS BE a girl who's hotter,smarter,more fun,nicer,etc.


ALWAYS.



Even if you get yourself a "10",the familiarity of having her around constantly will make other "new" women (of even lesser beauty) seem more attractive to you.


It never ends. Even if you dropped your current girl and got with this new one,at some point there'll be another "new hot girl".



I don't know how old you are,but whatever your age is,it would be wise to learn this now.
 

Caliente Ice

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Sit down with the new girl, and have an open and adult discussion about the issue. Just ask her if she'd be willing to stop wearing makeup or brushing her teeth. Also suggest that she wear unflattering clothing, and pack on a few extra pounds.

If she's mature and reasonable, and if she cares about your current relationship, I'm sure she'd be happy to help.
 

Jon55

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Caliente Ice said:
Sit down with the new girl, and have an open and adult discussion about the issue. Just ask her if she'd be willing to stop wearing makeup or brushing her teeth. Also suggest that she wear unflattering clothing, and pack on a few extra pounds.

If she's mature and reasonable, and if she cares about your current relationship, I'm sure she'd be happy to help.
Hahaha- "Hey, look, stop being so hot".

Igetit! said:
The thing you must understand is THERE WILL ALWAYS BE a girl who's hotter,smarter,more fun,nicer,etc.


ALWAYS.



Even if you get yourself a "10",the familiarity of having her around constantly will make other "new" women (of even lesser beauty) seem more attractive to you.


It never ends. Even if you dropped your current girl and got with this new one,at some point there'll be another "new hot girl".



I don't know how old you are,but whatever your age is,it would be wise to learn this now.

And thank you Igetit!. I understand there's a certain level of maturity (or lack thereof) here that I need to learn, but I haven't spoken anything about this to anyone other than you guys here. It's just something that's been rattling my brain and I had to get it off my chest, so I figured better to do it here than elsewhere in my life.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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