"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Relationship Degree Poll

What is your preferred degree of relationships with women?

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    19
I

I-am-someone

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Dear Mature Men,

This is a research post for something I've been curious about for a while.
What I would like to find out is this:

What is your preferred level of relationships with women?

The outcome of this poll may help people by indicating what the most popular and desirable kind of a relationship is, so choose your preference!
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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V

Vulpine

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I couldn't vote.

My preferred relationship degree is based on the woman. WIthout that input, I'm unable to answer.
 
KarmaSutra

KarmaSutra

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Vulpine said:
I couldn't vote.

My preferred relationship degree is based on the woman. WIthout that input, I'm unable to answer.
Click to expand...

Here here. I typed the same thing and then saw you beat me to it, ya bastard:up:
 
I

I-am-someone

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I had actually already considered that - but then I figured that this is not about the women.
This is about what you prefer.

If you know what you want, you can find a woman/women that is/are interested in the same thing. It shouldn't be the other way around, if you ask me.
 
V

Vulpine

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And, like I said, I prefer to make a judgement based on the woman. Did I st-sstuh-stutter? You could have made that a choice.

Ok. I don't have a goal, or a finish-line, or target with regards to women. They are just around. You meet a woman, and things develop into what they are going to be. Prefer? I prefer to let things develop into what they are going to be. There's no telling ahead of time what that is. ONS, STR, MTR, LTR, Marriage... without a crystal ball, there is no telling.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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I

I-am-someone

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That's actually pretty interesting.
I think you do have a valid point, this poll assumes that we have a single goal instead of having flowing relationships. Flowing relationships are much more likely and much more realistic.

However, for getting clear and relevant information on the desires and preferences we have, that shouldn't be included.

I do agree on your comment. Relationships are flowing, not absolute.
 
V

Vulpine

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I prefer that my relationships absolutely stop flowing for about one week a month while the woman is flowing.
 
V

Vulpine

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Oh, ok. That's simple. I'm a male. It's a no brainer! If you factor out all of the "real life" concerns...

Fine, I'll vote.

You guys are all liars. You would all prefer the same as I do, but "real life concerns" get in the way: VD, child support, psychos, etc.
 
S

STR8UP

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I voted for regular fukk buddy, but as others have said it depends on the woman.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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H

Hitman10000

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Multiple LTR here.

I like LTR, but I have a type of personality that's ready to leave a girl within a day even if things are going alright in a relationship for a year or 3 years.
 
I

insidious

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Cazh FB for sure.

If I'm w/ a chick and we dig each other in the sack, it's great that we can count on each for an occassional romp, no questions asked, no need to re-discover each other, and the casual relationship means we should have enough honesty to make things real.
 
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