Rejection

[SIXPAKGQ]

So how does it really feel to be rejected by someone you really cared for? How long does it take to get over it? and how do you build up your confidence level enough to move on? How did you feel when you get rejected the first time? If you are good looking, how often will women think you are the same also?

 

[biker_gixxer]

1. Feels like shiot

2. Depends on the person

3. Keep busy, meet other women, go out, etc...

4. I feel like it's 'their' lost, not mine. Rejection is a state of mind.

5. Depends on how often you conduct yourself as 'the man' and not some WUSS bag.

 

[AlwaysExcel]

The thing I've realized about rejection is that when it REALLY hurts, it hurts because it's seems to be a judgement about who you really are. Rejection plays on my personal insecurities or on real personal weaknesses.

An example of playing on insecurities would be being afraid that you were rejected because you were not good in bed. You have to decide whether or not you are going to believe this.

An example of real personal weaknesses is being a boring conversationalist and actually knowing it.

If you decide that your fears are valid and that you really do have a real personal weakness, then you MUST focus on the fact that this is a temporary situation and is NOT inherent to yourself. You have to focus on the fact that you can and will change. Once you frame the weakness as temporary, your hopelessness and despair goes away. You now have a solution and a way out. YOU are a bad conversationalist but you are not inherently a bad conversationalist. The same goes for failure. You failed but you are not inherently a failure because you can take steps to success.

 

[OddTech]

Rejection hurts but I must say that learning this DJ mindset has help me be more resilient to its pain. I was sorta surprised, because I thought learning DJ will help me score chicks easier. But instead, my success rate is the same... but the rejection doesn't hurt that much.

I agree with AlwaysExcel. You also lessen the pain when you don't put your girl at a high pedestal. Think about it, if you were to get rejected by a UG4 (don't know why you want this in the first place, but let's assume), you won't get moved. But a girl that you somehow idolize will be more painful.

I know this isn't the best way, but I always focus on the negative of the girl when I get dumped. Example, she's has bad body odor, so I focus on that and think.... thank God she dumped me, I saved my nose. The more you go over it and find other girls, the faster your recovery. A LTR (over 1 yr) takes a couple of months to heal for most guys on this site.

 

[SIXPAKGQ]

..

i am talking about when asking someone out, not rejected after the relationship has begun

 

[Seeph]

what you have to realize is that rejection is a part of life.. just think of it this way:

There are girls that you would not hook up with if they asked you... no offense to them

There are girls that would not hook up with you .... no offense to you.

You just gotta learn to deal with it and brush it off and move on.

 

[AlwaysExcel]

SixpakGQ why do you "really care for" someone you just asked out for the first time??? Rejection from strange girls doesn't matter as much to me. I actually find their bizarre excuses amusing. But really, what I said before applies even more in this situation. If you feel very bad about rejection from people you haven't even gone out with, it's probably because of your own self image. Are your fears about yourself justified? If they are, then focus on the fact that you CAN change.

 

[SIXPAKGQ]

....

to me, it hurts more if i get rejected from the begenning but if i get rejected down the line in a relationship, it hurts but it does not lower my self confidence, u see what i am saying?

 

[Fatality]

Re: ....

Originally posted by SIXPAKGQ
to me, it hurts more if i get rejected from the begenning but if i get rejected down the line in a relationship, it hurts but it does not lower my self confidence, u see what i am saying?

I feel the same way. If I get rejected right away it makes me question alot of things like "am i ugly", "did I say something wrong." If I get rejected down the line to me it just meant we weren't a good match but she atleast thought I was somewhat attractive at one point.

 

[Sardaukar]

to me, it hurts more if i get rejected from the begenning but if i get rejected down the line in a relationship, it hurts but it does not lower my self confidence, u see what i am saying?

A better question would be, what would it take for me to increase my self esteem and self worth FOR GOOD.

Well, any takers?

 

[SIXPAKGQ]

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