"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Regaining Frame
- Thread starter highSpeed
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Glassguy
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Its normally best to grab a new bottle of water rather than attempt to sift out the poison from the current one and I will tell you why:
-She will notice the sudden change and you will all of a sudden be a jerk
-She has more than likely been holding the majority of the power in the relationship. Even though she wants you to hold a strong frame, you've lost it which puts her into a lose/lose situation.
-Things are never the same as they once were
-Things are obviously getting bad or you wouldnt have posted this
Maybe give her the "Things really dont feel right and I need to step away from this for a little while. I will catch up with you once I get things figured out" and then ghost her for a few days. A knee jerk reaction from her and you taking a few days to get back into a strong frame mindset is the only thing that could get this back on track for you......and her.
Just my opinion.
see this is the problem that I have with long term relationships. you do this wrong, you get docked this much respect. you do this wrong, you get docked that much respect. it is extremely frustrating, I don't do that to her. If she has a bad day, I chalk it up to a bad day and move on. If I have a bad day, I'm still hearing about it months from now.
And that's the problem I have with long term relationships and marriages, the risk is mostly on the guy. I honestly wish I had realized this before I got married. All the risk is on me. All of the benefit is on her. That in and of itself makes an LTR pretty difficult to maintain. If you're going to stand around waiting for me to do something wrong, let me save you the trouble, I'm going to do something that you perceive as wrong or is actually wrong but either way, you're going to look down on me. So when I am weak, she's going to kick me. When she is weak, I'm going to try and help. Doesn't work. Might as well f*ck em and forget em.
Glassguy
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The risk of LTRs, engagement and marriage is ALL on the man. Given the current failure rate of those relationships in today's market and it's not worth it.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
