Hmm, I stopped getting notifications of new responses, so I hadn't come back on here. Appreciate the responses.
In terms of her being with another guy. Obviously, I can't say for certain. However, until she left, I can be as certain as possible that she wasn't having sex with anyone else. Unless it was at work, I don't know when she would have even had time. She was always home, or out with me. With us being separated, who knows. As far as her getting attention from other guys (texting, FB, etc), that I don't know.
To give you all an update. I let her know that I figured out some things I need to do for myself (get back to the gym, hang out with friends more, etc), whether we stay together or not. Obviously, I'm simplifying what I said. She later said to me that was exactly what she wanted to hear, and she was so happy to hear it. She said she wants to get "us" back, she's just worried the attraction can't be regained. However, she said that what I told her shocked her so much that it changed her mind to thinking that this is still worth trying to correct.
Since then, she has upped the frequency of contacting me. She has even texted me at 2:30am saying she couldn't sleep and was thinking about me. She contacts me about making plans, and it was her idea for us to spend Valentine's Day together. She even said she wants to stay over that night. She found out I am going to the Vegas to watch the Super Bowl with a friend (she is obsessed with football, so watching all games together is our "thing"). She was texting me how sad she was that she wasn't going to be watching the game with me. I haven't initiated contacted once, aside from something I needed answered about the house, or bills, or something.
I know some of you may think I'm just being an idiot, but I think the difference in my situation is her depression. She is so unhappy overall right now, and she needed time to work on herself. She has said to me, our therapist, and I've ever heard it from third party sources still to this day, when she talks about me to people she tells them I am the best husband anyone could ask for. She talks me up constantly and continuously says I've done nothing wrong. What she says is that with her intimacy issues, everything going on in her life, her upbringing of always being alone to deal with problems, that she feels marriage just may not be best for who she is. She's said she fully believes that if we get divorced, she will never remarry. She even said, "if I'm unhappy with you being my husband, clearly marriage is just wrong for me."
My hope is that she is just going through a dark time and that feeling of marriage not being right for her would disappear once we got back on track. But this time apart from her has taught me two things: 1) I still very much love her, and how things stand, I am still trying to get her back. 2) My happiness is the ultimate importance. I refuse to be blind to what is going on (even though I'm sure some of you think I am), and I won't accept her back with open arms without some major, deep, blunt conversations about all of this.
I'm not just going to drop her like some of you suggest. That is reckless advice jumping directly to that when you don't know the full story. She is without a doubt my best friend. This isn't just a relationship. I understand what many of you have said about me being the only one holding up my end of the marriage, and trust me, I have thought of all of that on my own. But until I have proof of something that is unforgivable (an affair), she gives me no choice, or it drags on longer than I can handle, I want to make it work and came here looking for advice on how to do that.
. Her relief comes when day 1 of her cycles starts which happens to be first bleeding day.
