reddit: Why are there so many ugly guys

[MatureDJ]

https://www.reddit.com/r/OnlineDating/comments/stll7i

I don’t know if there is ugly women too on OLD, and I don’t think of myself as a supermodel but there are so many ugly guys on OLD. I am constantly just swiping left. Is anyone else having this issue? Is it the same thing for men? Maybe I should just give up with the online stuff

 

[SW15]

More than a decade ago, women rated 80% of men on OkCupid as below average.

Women are only swiping right on about 5% of men they see on swipe apps.

 

[Prepostereax]

The algorithm sees you as ugly and it’s matching you with people you belong with. It’s pretty accurate so maybe you think you’re attractive but you just aren’t. Thems the breaks lady.

Well, duh
and

“Why are there so many fat women?”

 

[MatureDJ]

Women are only swiping right on about 5% of men they see on swipe apps.

It's OVER for Sub95%Cels.

 

[Lean Baby Face]

Perhaps just a natural counter-response to the declining looks of Western women? Why would they motivate any hard-working busy man adding additional hassle to his life being perfectly groomed, working out, spending extra money on healthy low-calorie foods while knowing he's getting nothing in return from it?

Of course, men should still be doing those things mentioned, but it shouldn't be for the sake of women's approval or entitlement, but for our own well-being and self-value.

I actually believe the natural dynamic between men and women could restore to its original form if women were only left with ugly men long enough, while attractive men would adopt the entitlement like that of modern women, leaving women behind with a feeling of low-value/abandonment and start leveling up to reach our demands, similar to way men do within the manosphere.

 

[BaronOfHair]

...there are so many ugly guys on OLD

She's well-advised to match up with fellas who AREN'T kiddie diddlers formerly from Elm Street, who found themselves subject to vigilante justice via gasoline and matches, once everyone else in the neighborhood learned of the live fire-sex ed these dudes had graced their offspring with

 

[Mike32ct]

If family or guy friends tell you “You’re not a bad looking guy,” then it’s over for you lol.

 

[Barrister]

In fairness to this chick, she isn’t wrong. I’ve looked at Bumble and Hinge of women I know personally and can attest to the fact that yes, most men on the dating apps are not good looking at all and some are laughably bad - usually their own fault. Most men don’t take care of themselves or know how to dress, and it shows.

Now, to answer her question, yes - women are just as bad as men. This is a human thing, not a man or woman thing. The big difference is the ugly chicks still have the same unreasonable expectations as the hot chicks, whereas ugly men typically have zero expectations.

 

[Thebestthereeveris]

https://www.reddit.com/r/OnlineDating/comments/stll7i

It's true. But women hype themselves up too much as well. The majority will always be average or below average
However there are both uglier men and women as time goes on with calorically dense foods

 

[zekko]

Now, to answer her question, yes - women are just as bad as men. This is a human thing, not a man or woman thing. The big difference is the ugly chicks still have the same unreasonable expectations as the hot chicks, whereas ugly men typically have zero expectations.

It's easier for women to be attractive than men, however. Men are wired to be stimulated by the female form. All a woman has to do really is be clean, look kind of soft, and not be fat, and chances are there are a lot of men who would find her attractive. Even if a woman looks malnourished or weak, she can still appear feminine. Men have a variety of ways that they can look unappealing, like if a man looks weak, it's a big strike against him.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Because there are ‘so many ugly guys’, good looking guys live life on easy mode.

 

[plumber]

the mechanics of this are: women literally process in emotion, see the picture and gets an instant feel and goes with that. men do the same but if they are healthy they will pause and consider, maybe that one is ok... Men can over ride emotional trigger if they are healthy. Women can not, emotional trigger is the core way that a woman thinks. If men are doing that it is because they have a problem...

we know it works like this, swipe, swipe, swipe, but we get stuck on the why.

 

[Barrister]

It's easier for women to be attractive than men, however. Men are wired to be stimulated by the female form. All a woman has to do really is be clean, look kind of soft, and not be fat, and chances are there are a lot of men who would find her attractive. Even if a woman looks malnourished or weak, she can still appear feminine. Men have a variety of ways that they can look unappealing, like if a man looks weak, it's a big strike against him.

I don’t disagree to an extent - but at the end of the day it is still within the man’s control to change this narrative for himself. Sure, some men are better blessed naturally in the looks department than others, but you could also say if a man gets in the gym and gets in good shape and then learns to dress well he will do reasonably well with women. Yes, it is easier for women in our modern day dating world.

 

[Solomon]

In fairness to this chick, she isn’t wrong. I’ve looked at Bumble and Hinge of women I know personally and can attest to the fact that yes, most men on the dating apps are not good looking at all and some are laughably bad - usually their own fault. Most men don’t take care of themselves or know how to dress, and it shows.

Now, to answer her question, yes - women are just as bad as men. This is a human thing, not a man or woman thing. The big difference is the ugly chicks still have the same unreasonable expectations as the hot chicks, whereas ugly men typically have zero expectations.

Totally agree if most guys go on the other side see their competition, you would laugh. Terrible pictures, weird angles, old outdated pictures that you can tell by the quality and doesn't correlate their age i.e. Guy is 50 but his pic is 35 taking back in 2005. I saw this years ago when I was curious had one of my homegirls show me her dating app and I realized that if you have quality pics, be in shape and have an engaging profile where I live it should be easy to get matches and dates. I'm not bragging but I got matches on some apps I haven't responded to you because I can't be bothered and I'm busy focusing on me. I have another buddy who I would say is average but he was going on 3-4 dates a week granted most of the girls were mid but still he was able to get his looksmatch.

As a guy on dating apps if you are in shape that alone will automatically put you in the top 10-30% depending on how good of a shape you are and where you are.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Same reason there are so many fat women

 

[The Duke]

Here's one of the many problems with online dating....women don't get turned on as easily by looking at pics of men. Sure they do for the top 5% looks wise of men, but The average looking guy won't get a right swipe.

But if she met him in person and was attracted to his personna she would find him more attractive.

It's same reason women aren't into p0rn but they are into smutty romance novels.

To attract women you need to understand what triggers them.

 

[zekko]

Totally agree if most guys go on the other side see their competition, you would laugh.

I realize I am not a top shelf guy looks wise, I'm not going to get a bunch of special attention from women in a crowd. But I know I can attract some women. Like you say, look at the guys next to you. I may not understand what they see in me exactly, but I don't understand what they see in guys in general. Men are hideous.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Here's one of the many problems with online dating....women don't get turned on as easily by looking at pics of men. Sure they do for the top 5% looks wise of men, but The average looking guy won't get a right swipe.

But if she met him in person and was attracted to his personna she would find him more attractive.

It's same reason women aren't into p0rn but they are into smutty romance novels.

To attract women you need to understand what triggers them.

Exactly. Attraction might start with looks, but seduction goes deeper. Women aren’t wired to respond to pictures the way men are; they respond to words, presence, energy, and emotional nuance. That’s why the same average guy might get ignored online but spark real desire in person. Being attractive gets you noticed; knowing how to feel keeps the competition out.

Million of years ago I saw somewhere that matchmaking sites prefer not to go forward with pictures because some people might not be as photogenic as others. But I digress. I have asked many times here, rhetorically, what to talk to women, how to trigger emotion, how to project feelings. You’d think that, given how central this is to female arousal, it would be a serious topic here. But most of the time, it gets drowned out by bitterness.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Because most guys do not know what women find attractive and listen to BS advice from other guys and women they don't care to fvck.

 

[SW15]

Here's one of the many problems with online dating....women don't get turned on as easily by looking at pics of men. Sure they do for the top 5% looks wise of men, but The average looking guy won't get a right swipe.

Men are more visual than women. It takes a lot for women to get more visual. If a guy has elite tier looks, then a visual medium will turn women on.

I think that looks are the most important aspect of seduction, but money, status, and personality are all relevant.

Initial interactions have shifted more towards tech methods. Swipe apps and social media platforms are where a lot of male-female interactions begin. That places a greater emphasis on looks.

But if she met him in person and was attracted to his personna she would find him more attractive.

A lot of tech arranged first dates fail.

They fail for many reasons. In many cases, the fantasy of the other person built up through visuals and text messages doesn't match the real life energy. A lot of tech arranged first dates wouldn't happen if dates were only arranged through real life methods.

It's good for men to have women consider things other than looks as the interaction is starting.

To attract women you need to understand what triggers them.

Attraction might start with looks, but seduction goes deeper. Women aren’t wired to respond to pictures the way men are; they respond to words, presence, energy, and emotional nuance. That’s why the same average guy might get ignored online but spark real desire in person. Being attractive gets you noticed; knowing how to feel keeps the competition out.

Men who can spike a woman's emotions best are the ones most successful over some length of time. I agree with these statements.

Looks are most important but other things matter.