"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Red Flags???

Metalhead83

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Ok so Ive been dating this girl for about two months. Shes 25. Within the first week we started having sex. We had been seeing each other almost every day and were supposed to go on a date one night, she flaked and I did not hear from her until the next day. She had started to act weird up until this point. So I told her we needed time apart and to figure out what she wanted between us .

It was about a week until we started hanging out. So now we're seeing each other almost every day again (I know I should limit my contact with her) and I feel like shes starting the same behavior. Recently she admitted to me shes an alcoholic and I know this is a huge problem. But I have feelings for this girl which I usually dont have after two months.

Last night I tried having sex with her and Id get a couple of kisses and she would push me away. She has been acting like this for about a week, not showing as much affection but not as bad as before. I asked her what was wrong and I was told she did not know. So I asked what the hell that meant and she told me honestly it was the alcohol. Which doesnt make sense to me because she drinks everyday and we had been having sex almost every day. I tried to pass out and she takes my hand and puts it on her boob. Im like alright! This is more like it. SO I tried to go at it with her and the same thing happens she pushes me away and tells me shes tired. I tell her that the relationship isnt just about sex and not to test me . She tells me it shouldnt be. So thats how the night ended.

I always get these mixed signals from her. I know she has trust issues because shes been cheated on a lot. She always opens up when shes drunk and tells me she wants to be with me blah blah. But I dont know how much of that crap to believe. My question is really what should I do? Should I not see her as much? Is she scared and trying to see if the relationship is just about sex?

BTW this is my first post and this site rocks :rockon:
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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nubian-knight

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Dude red flags or not if she has a drinking problem, you are not going to want to stick around

Even if you care for her, that makes it worse


Alcoholics have mood swings, will cause random fights and shes more likely to bang some other dude

Dont bother with it
 

jdon23

Don Juan
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Drop this one.. 1) She is playing games and 2) She's an alcoholic

I can hear a future phone call..

"OH METALHEAD83 IT WAS AWFUL, I WAS SO DRUNK AND HE TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME! IT WAS THE ALCOHOL!! I WAS DRUNK IT DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING I PROMISE"

and by then you're oneitis will have developed to a stage where this lame ass excuse will work on you.

This is not acceptable. Don't settle for a woman who makes a daily habit of drinking. It's bad news.


Also, next time a woman pulls the "im tired" and keeps rejecting your advances, I want you to pull ALL of your attention away from her. If that means getting up and leaving, then DO it! Showing that you don't need her will only make her more drawn to you.
 

Metalhead83

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jdon23 said:
Also, next time a woman pulls the "im tired" and keeps rejecting your advances, I want you to pull ALL of your attention away from her. If that means getting up and leaving, then DO it! Showing that you don't need her will only make her more drawn to you.
I did pull away from her. I just rolled over and ignored when she was talking to me. Then she took my hand and put it on her boob. I knew it was games the whole time but I was thinking with the wrong head. I had severe oneitis over her for a while, I still do a little. Im gonna give her a couple days with no contact. If things keep getting worse the end is near for sure.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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