Red flag: When she's a little too "into you" too quick.

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#21
toxic people are toxic. Why bother dealing with them when you could find someone better for you.

some people just aren't worth the effort.
Because it's always good to strengthen your resolve, and women like thee are good benchmarks for where you stand. I've always said to embrace the pain and learn to love it for this reason. Because it makes you strong as **** and tough as **** too. And that's never a bad thing.
 

xstang77

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#22
How can you drop your guard though? And even if you do, shouldn't you have a stronger inner game than outer game so that if you actually drop your guard, she gets faced with something Mitch stronger and tougher than she ever thought?

So if you are always levelheaded and never let your ego get in the way do anything (not just in relationships but just overall throughout life), then does that mean that you are equipped to deal with these b!tches for life then? Shouldn't it be a walk in the park with these type of women then?
What are you really gonna do that's much stronger then she expected besides nc and disappearing if she doesn't care, idk if it's a guard thing I mean yea it should always be up but when your in an actual relationship and it goes cold overnight it still affects you unless your completely cold or narcissistic, the more drawn out decline gives you time to get anger about and get out. Hopefully I understood your question correctly?
 
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#23
Because it's always good to strengthen your resolve, and women like thee are good benchmarks for where you stand. I've always said to embrace the pain and learn to love it for this reason. Because it makes you strong as **** and tough as **** too. And that's never a bad thing.
meh. Some of us are passed that.

might as well waste your time with toxic people to get "stronger" for the rest of your life.

Ain't nobody got time for that. Too many more important things to do.

if some chick comes on too strong I'm pretty much straight up like: "be easy with that".

same shyt a chick does if she wants to take things slow. Some of them get these pushy thirsty dudes who come on too strong and they learn to recognize the passive aggressive "nice guy" "you're the best everyone else is the worst" act. They may give them a chance then get tired of the bs manipulation attempts and drop the needy, manipulative bastard.
 
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#24
What are you really gonna do that's much stronger then she expected besides nc and disappearing if she doesn't care, idk if it's a guard thing I mean yea it should always be up but when your in an actual relationship and it goes cold overnight it still affects you unless your completely cold or narcissistic, the more drawn out decline gives you time to get anger about and get out. Hopefully I understood your question correctly?
Stronger and tougher as in you can go about your day smiling as if nothing happened, or even more extreme by going about your day feeling BETTER and more motivated than before. And stronger so that if you do let your guard down, you won't be broken or even damaged from her disappearing or even if she makes fun of you and insults you afterwards.
 

resilient

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#25
...you won't be broken or even damaged from her disappearing or even if she makes fun of you and insults you afterwards.
Exactly. Reminds me of one of Bruce Lee's popular quotes:

Don't get set into one form, adapt it and build your own, and let it grow, be like water. Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless — like water. Now you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup; You put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle; You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.
 

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#26
Exactly. Reminds me of one of Bruce Lee's popular quotes:

Don't get set into one form, adapt it and build your own, and let it grow, be like water. Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless — like water. Now you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup; You put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle; You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.
Loved that quote. He also said this one too:

As you think, so shall you become.
 

nismo-4

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#27
When a girl is into me too much, too fast, the first thing I think is she's either:

1. A hooker
2. A Golddigger
3. A Diktease
4. A flake
5. An attention seeker
6. Trying to use me as a ploy to make her bf jealous.

Brush off. Call the bluff immediately.
 
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#28
Exactly. Reminds me of one of Bruce Lee's popular quotes:

Don't get set into one form, adapt it and build your own, and let it grow, be like water. Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless — like water. Now you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup; You put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle; You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.
Water also flows down toilets with azz drippings.
 
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devilkingx2

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#31
I don't get this. She gets into you really quickly and then loses interest super fast. How does that affect you? If she were to lose interest slowly it wouldn't hurt as bad? Someone explain this to me.
because when things are just starting to go bad, you can identify and fix the problems

or if the writing is on the walls you can prepare yourself for the breakup.

but if things end overnight you'll just get blindsided with no chance to fix, no ability to reflect, no way to prepare
 
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#32
because when things are just starting to go bad, you can identify and fix the problems

or if the writing is on the walls you can prepare yourself for the breakup.

but if things end overnight you'll just get blindsided with no chance to fix, no ability to reflect, no way to prepare
How does one 'prepare' for a breakup? I thought it just happens and your like "oh, ok" and don't think about it anymore. Also, shouldn't you also know what you are doing wrong during the relationship regardless of having to reflect? I mean after a while of being here, I'd think most things should become subconscious.
 

devilkingx2

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#33
How does one 'prepare' for a breakup?
last time I was unprepared for a breakup I got dumped suddenly and got really angry and said/did a bunch of things that made me look bad

whereas, if I was prepared I would've played it cool and saved a lot of face.

it becomes more important if you're living together, have kids and/or are married though.

Also, shouldn't you also know what you are doing wrong during the relationship regardless of having to reflect?
it's not always immediately obvious, it eventually becomes obvious though.
 

KingBeef

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#34
Good post. The bashing of the ex being a red flag is a big one I have experienced first hand. What she is doing there is setting up some psychological manipulation that she will eventually try and use to exploit your ego and use it to her advantage. It will start out as "My ex is a d|ck, jerk, etc." Then eventually it will shift to ""My ex never put gas in my car when I was short on cash" or "My ex never cleaned my gutters for me". Then if you fall for it your ego is supposed to kick in and start doing the stuff for her that her ex didnt, thus, being "better" than him. DON'T FALL FOR IT.
^^^THIS... GOD DAMN IT. :up:
 
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#35
last time I was unprepared for a breakup I got dumped suddenly and got really angry and said/did a bunch of things that made me look bad

whereas, if I was prepared I would've played it cool and saved a lot of face.

it becomes more important if you're living together, have kids and/or are married though.
Fair enough for the kid thing. But if she just drops it on you, why should it cause you to freak out anyway? We should have self control not just in front of women, but in general with everyone regardless of the situation. Maybe I'm still misunderstanding because I still can't comprehend what difference it would make whether she slowly started pulling away or if she just randomly blocks you everywhere after telling you not to talk to her ever again. LikeI see the difference, but Idont see how you could REACT differently. It would be the same regardless of how she does it because in the end she is still dumping you. That doesn't make sense how you 'prepare' for it either.
it's not always immediately obvious, it eventually becomes obvious though.
True enough
 
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devilkingx2

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#36
But if she just drops it on you, why should it cause you to freak out anyway? We should have self control not just in front of women, but in general with everyone regardless of the situation. Maybe I'm still misunderstanding because I still can't comprehend what difference it would make whether she slowly started pulling away or if she just randomly blocks you everywhere after telling you not to talk to her ever again. LikeI see the difference, but Idont see how you could REACT differently. It would be the same regardless of how she does it because in the end she is still dumping you. That doesn't make sense how you 'prepare' for it either.
I meant you prepare mentally, you think of the best course of action before you actually have to act.

most people's knee-jerk reaction would probably be a whole lot different to their calm, cool and collected reaction to a situation
 
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#38
Women who are genuinely interested in you are more likely to be deathly afraid of you. Afraid of getting rejected and de-validated. Any woman who is too comfortable with you too quick means she isn't really all that attracted to you. Attraction is caused by your dominance, and she should be intimidated at first. When you look at her and she looks to the ground, that's when you know her attraction is genuine.
 

XFORCE

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#39
if you are chatting with someone who takes ZERO responsibility in the demise of their last relationship, you should consider that a red flag
I wish I read this sooner and looked deeper into my exGF's stories... Would've saved me a lot of trouble.
Anyone that tries to be "B.F.F's" too quickly, "You're the bestestest thing to EVER happen to me" etc and tries to fill your head up with "greatness" while not really knowing you for a while is trying to "lull" you to sweet dreams and get you where they want you.
I found out from my friend who's a psychiatrist that this is an attachment disorder. As strongly as it starts, it can go south just as fast when you don't meet their ideals. Turn and run should this occur.
 

sazc

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#40
I found out from my friend who's a psychiatrist that this is an attachment disorder. As strongly as it starts, it can go south just as fast when you don't meet their ideals. Turn and run should this occur.
So groming someone is an attachment disorder..... Interesting, I never knew that, I'll have to Google it.

Wow... When you contemplate child sexual offenders, and the fact that they groom, and raise this stems from an attachment disorder, that gives such depth to the how and why. (Not an excuse obvs) but, wow, that's something to contemplate
 
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