"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Recovery from saying something stupid

BluEyes

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Hey

I find in small social gatherings(5-10 people), my energy levels shoot down and I mentally switch off, so to speak. However I still try to be social so I don't get the old "What's wrong with you tonight" or "Are you okay?". The problem is, when I'm social during these times, I tend to say dumb things especially to guys.

Like, in clubs or bars or school or parties or 1-on-1 or whatever, I'm pretty good with conversation and never get the "wtf are you talking about" look.

Question: Either, how do you guys recover(verbally) from saying something dumb, or how do you NOT say dumb things? Like, good comebacks or guy-negs, etc...

I'm one of those guys who just speaks his mind whenever, so sometimes dumb things tend to come out of my mouth that tend to make people think im an idiot. Dumb comment + my muscular physique = people think I'm dumb.

I'm great at talking to girls and controlling group conversations, it's just when everything starts to settle down and I talk about something, I sometimes get the "you're retarded" look. It bugs me.

peace
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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samueladams

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who the fvck cares what a guy thinks? I mean we all say dumb crap sometimes...don't sweat it...if you're just around dudes who cares...if its mixed then i dunno don't say the dumb crap you're saying...not much can tell you how not to say this crap
 

BluEyes

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I'll have to work on it..

It's just difficult because my conversations are so natural and unmechanical that I don't think about what I'm saying at all, it just sort of comes out.

Perhaps I'll take myself down a notch, and work on the other 93% of communication(body language, mannerisms, voice tone, presence, facial expressions, etc) for awhile.

I'll make it a summer project, starting tomorrow.

------

On a side note, my parents and most of the adults I talk to tell me to never let go of my "randomness" because it sets me apart from the masses, and how I speak my mind without thinking about consequences is a gift... I'm sure it is with seduction, but in casual/social settings with guys, its more of a curse. Around chicks I'm pretty alpha, but around guys I let myself fall to the bottom end of the social chain. Funny thing is, most guys are intimidated by me(pretty well built now, very good at talking to girls, etc). lol god i hate being judged. whatever...

as spider man says: It is my gift, it is my curse.

I'll work on it, and I suggest anybody else with this issue get on the bandwagon as well, in becoming more smooth/suave in conversations with guys.
 

Microphone Fiend

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the block list seems a little childish. If you blocked them, why do you feel the need to tell us or them? You are just invoking more flaming from them...


Anyways, on to the topic. Some Mitch Hedberg stuff usually works
Wikipedia said:
Hedberg often joked with the audience if they hadn't reacted particularly well to a joke: "That joke's better than you acted. Perhaps it's not, maybe it's dumb, it could be." In the unedited Strategic Grill Locations CD, he tells a joke that did not receive any laughs, to which Mitch stated: "Alright...that joke is going to be good because I'm going to take all the words out and add new words. That joke will be fixed."
Maybe not the same stuff he said, but the general idea that if a joke bombs, it happens. Its just water rolling off your back. Put one bad joke in perspective. Your lack of being funny today will be funny as hell tommorow.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Obsidian

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On a side note, my parents and most of the adults I talk to tell me to never let go of my "randomness" because it sets me apart from the masses, and how I speak my mind without thinking about consequences is a gift...
they're mostly right, especially when you're dealing with girls. Acting like that is one of the best ways to entertain girls, in my experience. They usually think random, creative stuff is funny.
 
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