"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

Recognizing and avoiding future Cluster B's...

Johnny Alias

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Hey guys. Thanks for all the feedback you've given recently. I have to say I'm dumbstruck by what's happened to me. After breaking up with my cluster b of 4 years she moved in with another dude almost immediately... And started mirroring him like she did with me... And people are deserting her in droves because he's a mega douche bodybuilder philandering narcissist... They liked her mirroring me... I'm a nice guy. Acquaintances and friends she's known for YEARS are running from her. When it's all over she's going to be alone, penniless, and more wrinkly (she's 43) Hopefully she'll have a black eye and DUI too. Karmic retribution.

I made a list of all the things she did confirming her cluster B state and SOME examples. I've already mentioned the mirroring:

Ex Stripper - 55% of which have BPD.

Childhood abuse - Major neglect and I'm pretty sure someone tickled her too hard.

Cheating on husband - With me... Two years.

Moved crazy fast - Banged on first date. L bombs dropped almost immediately.

Child like voice - Yup and often.

Rage attacks - Every few weeks between the good times. Scary as hell. Almost got thrown off a plane, ran out of home several times to make sure I didn't smack her. 80% of rages were when wasted drunk.

Doesn't ever accept blame - Ever. Apologies only came if it was something she couldn't possibly deny or twist around. Otherwise no mention or just shut down when confronted.

Substance abuse - Boozer. Drank almost everyday. Hammered four times a week. Weed everyday. Coke. Painkillers.

Bisexual - It's a symptom even if we like it.

Lying - Happened to ex husband and me in end when narcissistic supply was no longer putting up with her crap.

Highly dependent. - Incapable of responsibility. No job. Can't pay tickets, taxes, whatever. 6 year old. HAS to be in a relationship and cannot stand on own two feet... or stilletos...

Splitting of friends, family, lovers - Evil or Good. Period. Very little empathy.

Spoke of Abusive exes - Ex hub was a piece of **** as I am now. Tried to Hoover an old one and got caught by new wife.

Nothing was ever good enough - would always find a reason to complain.

Constant Health Problems - some real some not. Puked a few times for days straight due to ulcer caused by drinking. Bad knee, kneck, back from multiple car wrecks (none her fault). Also just sick often from partying, poor diet, and sporadic exercise. Some **** she pulled in end where I took her to hospital were lies to rope me back in like phantom kidney stones... Or she's got acute pancreatitis which is NOT a good sign if you're a hard drinker.

Depressed and anxious often - self medicated with booze. Got her a Xanax script instead. She said they just put her to sleep. I said take less. Didn't happen.

Revisionist memory - Who can trust the memories of someone who can't take blame and is a drunk??

No sense of time - I used to tease her about this. Weeks ago were days ago. Months ago were weeks ago. Weird. Seriously.

Lives off Drama - looked forward to friend she was mad at coming to a party... So she could attack her.

False Initmacy - was inconsolable when a fellow Cluster B committed suicide... Who she only hung out with 5 times... And treated her like crap on two of those occasions.

Goddamn. I wanted to fix this? My ego needs a thorough beating with a large stick. I will NEVER do a long term deal with a gal that needs Help again! God. What a vampire.

I know now that it was all fake... And thank god she isn't younger and that her smoking hot looks are almost gone due to all her partying... and winter is here when she gets fat due to drinking, pounding piles of cheese, and not working out. Thank you baby Jesus.

I do still get a bit sad occasionally... and am not looking forward to purging my FB account of her face... though I think it needs to be done.

Any more thoughts on these gals? She never exhibited any self harm behaviors... I wonder if the cutting thing is really as common as they say. Still kind of addicted to thinking about her like a drug. This NC this time around needs to be as solid as a rock. A friend of mine mentioned her last night and what she's doing. I told him I don't want to hear about it. It's like a mini bout of PTSD where I can feel my heart rate go up and get anxious. Woof.
 
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"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Johnny Alias

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Oh a few other things that popped into mind:

Belief in Other Wordly Influences - I'm not talking about God in a the typical sense. I think she'd turn into a pile of ash if she ever crossed the threshold of an actual church. I'm stalking about angels, spirits, etc. Also visited fortune tellers and BELIEVED what they said. Often blamed our disagreements/brawls on having crossed star signs... when she was a really just a mean ass drunk.

Attention Wh0re - If a gal has over 100 profile pics on FB she's an attention ***** and to be avoided.
 

user name

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Johnny Alias said:
I do still get a bit sad occasionally... and am not looking forward to purging my FB account of her face... .
:nervous:
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Johnny Alias

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Ah cheers. Yeah, she really did a number on me. You get addicted to them... even the abuse. Don't worry. I know any feelings I have are for a fantasy and NOT reality. Constant torture and kindness will do that to a guy. Maximum brainwash. Like I say I thank heaven above that she's getting OLD, ridden hard, and put away... wrinkly. She also moved to the FAR end of town which greatly lessens the odds of me running into her.

Appreciate the concern. Just got to make sure it NEVER happens again if I really want a kid. God we would have gotten divorced in a few years tops... that is if she was even able to give birth... and it wasn't a flipper baby from all her fun little chemicals. Woof.
 

SgtSplacker

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I appreciate your "cluster B" reference. You inspired me to do some web research and I learned alot just now. Thanks.
 

Johnny Alias

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You bet Sgt. Takes a lot of knowledge to deal with the trauma they cause and to avoid them in the future. Like others on this site have said, don't try to pin her to one particular group. They often share many of the traits and this can happen at different times. It confuses the issue.

It's funny. I had finally pegged my ex fiance as a Sociopath... but at the time I thought she was an extreme anomaly. I'm only now recognizing how common these behaviors are... especially as HOTNESS goes up. Be wary.
 
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