"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Reciprocity Principle

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AlexLefty

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The Reciprocity Principle - that is, the social norm that we should treat others the way they treat us. A person must try to repay what another person has provided.

Reciprocity is one of the most widespread and basic norms of human culture.

Apply it to your life. Just something to think about.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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BPH

BPH

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AlexLefty said:
The Reciprocity Principle - that is, the social norm that we should treat others the way they treat us. A person must try to repay what another person has provided.

Reciprocity is one of the most widespread and basic norms of human culture.

Apply it to your life. Just something to think about.
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Would be a great idea if it worked.
 
L

LearningSlowly

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BPH said:
Would be a great idea if it worked.
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If you understand him correctly, you are being very pessimistic.

I gave bud to a buddy today. I had a little left and didn't want to bring it home. Maybe that'll pay off.

Also I'm realizing how magnanimous a truly valuable person must be. When you have some social value, it's very tempting to ignore friends that are beneath you, or worse, put them down.

If I'm trying to become better friends with some more popular kids, and lower value kids try to leech and enter the conversation by talking to me. It's so easy to basically ignore them, preferring to instead have a conversation with the people who seem above you, even if you aren't at the center of it.

I have realized since that I should start an interesting conversation with that person (think improv comedy, transition away from normal into something weird but interesting) and then bring other people around me into it. Ask their opinions on it, is an easy way, if they don't include themselves. By then the first conversation will have died down and you're the focus.

And all that comes from being willing to talk to the less popular kids.

Good thread, good concept.
 
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BPH

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LearningSlowly said:
If you understand him correctly, you are being very pessimistic.

I gave bud to a buddy today. I had a little left and didn't want to bring it home. Maybe that'll pay off.

Also I'm realizing how magnanimous a truly valuable person must be. When you have some social value, it's very tempting to ignore friends that are beneath you, or worse, put them down.

If I'm trying to become better friends with some more popular kids, and lower value kids try to leech and enter the conversation by talking to me. It's so easy to basically ignore them, preferring to instead have a conversation with the people who seem above you, even if you aren't at the center of it.

I have realized since that I should start an interesting conversation with that person (think improv comedy, transition away from normal into something weird but interesting) and then bring other people around me into it. Ask their opinions on it, is an easy way, if they don't include themselves. By then the first conversation will have died down and you're the focus.

And all that comes from being willing to talk to the less popular kids.

Good thread, good concept.
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I mean that people look for ways to not reciprocate.

I don't know if it was meant in a material way or social way but if it was meant in the former I notice how people always look for a way to benefit from somebody rather than to mutually benefit.

Person borrows money and doesn't pay back.

Person gets a peace of gum, never offers one to his giver.

Stuff like that, maybe I misinterpreted it.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Jack Wealthy

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It means both ways.

Yeah, I feel really positive and high value and stoned lately and I've realised I'm giving out gum, pizza, compliments...




People randomly come up to me to say hey, pat me on the back, call out cool **** at me. Whatever, it was 50c worth of gum for mad social proof. Worth it.

It's more about the positivity than the material though. Material is just an easy way/method of vibing good feelings.
 
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AlexLefty

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Jack Wealthy said:
It's more about the positivity than the material though. Material is just an easy way/method of vibing good feelings.
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Exactly, good feelings are returned with good feelings.

For example, you are traveling in the Middle East. You walk into a shop in the bazaar in Istanbul, you are greeted by the kind owner who invites you in, asks you where you are from, and then offers you a cup of coffee and some lovely Turkish pastries. As you sit there, the hospitality of the owner makes you feel a bit guilty about just walking out without buying anything. If you were already thinking of buying a carpet, you might decide to have him show you his collection. As he displays more and more carpets, taking them down from the rack, unrolling them, and then talking to you about their quality, you recognize that he is doing more and more work for you. You are more likely to feel that you need to purchase one of these carpets. If you were not thinking of buying a carpet - or do not have enough money even if you wanted to - you may find yourself looking around the shop for something small that you could buy, and maybe give as a gift to someone when you get back home.
 
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AlexLefty

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Bump because i think this is an important concept
 
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