"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Reciprocity Principle

AlexLefty

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The Reciprocity Principle - that is, the social norm that we should treat others the way they treat us. A person must try to repay what another person has provided.

Reciprocity is one of the most widespread and basic norms of human culture.

Apply it to your life. Just something to think about.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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BPH

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AlexLefty said:
The Reciprocity Principle - that is, the social norm that we should treat others the way they treat us. A person must try to repay what another person has provided.

Reciprocity is one of the most widespread and basic norms of human culture.

Apply it to your life. Just something to think about.
Would be a great idea if it worked.
 

LearningSlowly

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BPH said:
Would be a great idea if it worked.
If you understand him correctly, you are being very pessimistic.

I gave bud to a buddy today. I had a little left and didn't want to bring it home. Maybe that'll pay off.

Also I'm realizing how magnanimous a truly valuable person must be. When you have some social value, it's very tempting to ignore friends that are beneath you, or worse, put them down.

If I'm trying to become better friends with some more popular kids, and lower value kids try to leech and enter the conversation by talking to me. It's so easy to basically ignore them, preferring to instead have a conversation with the people who seem above you, even if you aren't at the center of it.

I have realized since that I should start an interesting conversation with that person (think improv comedy, transition away from normal into something weird but interesting) and then bring other people around me into it. Ask their opinions on it, is an easy way, if they don't include themselves. By then the first conversation will have died down and you're the focus.

And all that comes from being willing to talk to the less popular kids.

Good thread, good concept.
 

BPH

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LearningSlowly said:
If you understand him correctly, you are being very pessimistic.

I gave bud to a buddy today. I had a little left and didn't want to bring it home. Maybe that'll pay off.

Also I'm realizing how magnanimous a truly valuable person must be. When you have some social value, it's very tempting to ignore friends that are beneath you, or worse, put them down.

If I'm trying to become better friends with some more popular kids, and lower value kids try to leech and enter the conversation by talking to me. It's so easy to basically ignore them, preferring to instead have a conversation with the people who seem above you, even if you aren't at the center of it.

I have realized since that I should start an interesting conversation with that person (think improv comedy, transition away from normal into something weird but interesting) and then bring other people around me into it. Ask their opinions on it, is an easy way, if they don't include themselves. By then the first conversation will have died down and you're the focus.

And all that comes from being willing to talk to the less popular kids.

Good thread, good concept.
I mean that people look for ways to not reciprocate.

I don't know if it was meant in a material way or social way but if it was meant in the former I notice how people always look for a way to benefit from somebody rather than to mutually benefit.

Person borrows money and doesn't pay back.

Person gets a peace of gum, never offers one to his giver.

Stuff like that, maybe I misinterpreted it.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Jack Wealthy

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It means both ways.

Yeah, I feel really positive and high value and stoned lately and I've realised I'm giving out gum, pizza, compliments...




People randomly come up to me to say hey, pat me on the back, call out cool **** at me. Whatever, it was 50c worth of gum for mad social proof. Worth it.

It's more about the positivity than the material though. Material is just an easy way/method of vibing good feelings.
 

AlexLefty

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Jack Wealthy said:
It's more about the positivity than the material though. Material is just an easy way/method of vibing good feelings.
Exactly, good feelings are returned with good feelings.

For example, you are traveling in the Middle East. You walk into a shop in the bazaar in Istanbul, you are greeted by the kind owner who invites you in, asks you where you are from, and then offers you a cup of coffee and some lovely Turkish pastries. As you sit there, the hospitality of the owner makes you feel a bit guilty about just walking out without buying anything. If you were already thinking of buying a carpet, you might decide to have him show you his collection. As he displays more and more carpets, taking them down from the rack, unrolling them, and then talking to you about their quality, you recognize that he is doing more and more work for you. You are more likely to feel that you need to purchase one of these carpets. If you were not thinking of buying a carpet - or do not have enough money even if you wanted to - you may find yourself looking around the shop for something small that you could buy, and maybe give as a gift to someone when you get back home.
 

AlexLefty

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Bump because i think this is an important concept
 
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